pets

  • News

    UK Hedge Fund Manager Sets Unreachably High Bar With Resplendent Private Residence For Chicken Friends

    Crispin Odey is the founder of Odey Asset Management, a sausage brand ambassador, and a guy who unwittingly made fellow hedge fund manager Philip Falcone’s life* a living hell when he pulled this stunt:

    …Odey has upped the ante for poultry accommodation – he’s building a temple for his chickens for which the stone alone costs £130,000. The Palladian-style chicken house, designed by Christopher Smallwood Architects, has won planning approval from the Forest of Dean District Council, and will sit on the hillside above Eastbach Court, Odey’s Grade II-listed home. The temple’s roof – adorned with an Anthemia statuette – will be fashioned in grey zinc; the pediments, cornice, architrave and frieze are in English oak; and the columns, pilasters and rusticated stone plinth are being hewn from finest grey Forest of Dean sandstone. Naturally, the doors will be painted in the Odey Asset Management founder’s favourite Hague Blue – “to match the doors around Eastbach Court”, according to the plans…“The temple will be a lovely place when it is finished at the end of the year,” Odey said from a grouse moor. “The chickens will be grand.”

    Nice for the chickens, but obviously this gesture makes Phil look like a deadbeat by comparison, as he merely allows his pet pig Wilbur to live in his apartment and has never even suggested getting her her own place. You can bet someone will be printing a copy of the article and placing it prominently on top of someone‘s morning paper, and god help that someone if he doesn’t get on the horn about building her the god damn Taj Mahal, ASAP.

    Crispin Odey’s chickens come home to (a luxury) roost [Telegraph via FT Alphaville]

    *And the lives of all deep-pocketed animal owners.

    / Sep 25, 2012 at 3:30 PM
  • AnnaGristina

    News

    Who Wants To Adopt Anna Gristina’s Pigs?

    Back in March, a woman named Anna Gristina was arrested for allegedly running a whorehouse out of an East 78th Street apartment, with plans to go global. In that time, we’ve learned a good bit about Gristina (who goes by Anna Scotland professionally), who currently remains incarcerated on Riker’s Island. For instance, at the time of her arrest, she was meeting with a friend and broker who was supposedly helping her line up financing to expand the venture (which she maintains was an upscale dating site), she paid her hookers well, and she was an animal lover. Emphasis on the past tense because apparently anyone can be an animal lover until push comes to shove and mommy needs money for legal fees. Then it’s good-bye lush accommodations upstate, hello slaughterhouse.

    An accused Upper East Side brothel boss is so hard up for cash that she’s had to evict most of the pigs she keeps in her upstate home to save money while she remains locked up in jail on $2 million bond. The family of accused madam Anna Gristina, who’s got a soft spot for porkers, has sent away all but two of the seven rescue pigs she keeps in order to save the hundreds of dollars per month she spends in upkeep for them at her Orange County farm, her husband said yesterday. “My son was really upset,” Gristina’s hubby Kelvin Gorr said of the decision to relocate those hogs to two other farms. “He was crying,” Gorr said of the boy, 9-year-old Nicholas. “Anna, too, was upset,” the real-estate agent Gorr said. “But there’s nothing we can do.” But Gorr assured, “They’re not going to be eaten.”blockquote>

    Oh really? That’s interesting because most people wouldn’t make a claim like “they’re not going to be eaten” without explaining what WILL happen to them instead, unless you are prevaricating in flagrante. So. Apparently it falls to us. If anyone has an interest in taking in one of these pigs, speak up now. Lest the idea cross your mind that a certain hedge fund manager will be opening his doors, let me stop you right there– there’s no room at that inn.

    / Apr 3, 2012 at 2:59 PM
  • News

    Hank Greenberg Might Beg To Differ

    Consumers’ “better halves” will shell out the most on their partners, with the average person planning to spend $74.12 on their spouse or significant other, up from $68.98 last year. Additionally, consumers will spend and average of $25.25 on their children, parents or other family members and $6.92 on friends….the average person will spend about $4.52 on their pets.

    / Feb 14, 2012 at 1:26 PM
  • News

    Bonus Watch ’11: How Much Do You Want It?

    It would probably be safe to say that many of you came back to work today with one thought on your mind: this year’s bonus for last year’s work and, to that end, the hope that it would include at least 6 zeros. Here’s the rub: your firm may or may not have made any […]

    / Jan 3, 2012 at 5:59 PM
  • News

    When Going Through A Divorce, 67.3% Of Bankers Put Up A Fight For The Dog, Kids Not So Much

    Thinking about getting divorced (for a first, second or third time)? When it comes time to divide assets, which are you more willing to take your ex to court over- kids or dog? According to a new study- by the people who brought you the statistic that 87% of adulterous financial services employees cheat with […]

    / Jun 1, 2011 at 3:44 PM
  • MBAs, News

    Day 30: A Bunch Of Idiot Traders Drop By The Office And Steve Hisses At Them And Pisses In Their General Direction

    Early last week, we were alerted to a message board containing a comment by a woman who accosted Bill Ackman at a recent General Growth Properties hearing. In it, she recounted their meeting and although perhaps mentally unstable, had a genius idea on her hands. Here is the relevant text: “I waited Till Mr. Ackman […]

    / May 5, 2010 at 5:29 PM
  • News

    The SEC Doesn’t Give A Rat’s Ass If You Or Your Tabby Cat Don’t Want To Take The Subway

    I don’t think I have to tell you that the SEC has been stepping up its game like crazy these last few months. They had a stern talking to with one of their employees about cutting back on his tranny porn surfing time on the job, they busted that “psychic” money manager , and now […]

    / Apr 8, 2010 at 4:49 PM

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