Ponzi schemes

At which point he decided he’d stick around for another 20 or so years. Read more »

Yesterday afternoon, the SEC and the Department of Justice charged hedge fund manager, YouTube star, and prolific Tweeter Anthony Davian with fraud. Like any good alleged Ponzi schemer, Davian applied the “one pot of money” philosophy to his funds’ assets, and used investor cash to buy himself an Audi Q7 Prestige, build a palace the likes of which Akron, Ohio had never seen, and collect rare pens. As is typical in these kinds of cases, the benefit of hindsight allows those who witnessed the crime unfold in real time (clients, employees, etc) say “Well, of course it was a scam,” even if it wasn’t readily apparent at the time. Although not for a lack of trying on Davian’s part! Behold, the amazing list of red flags he dangled in people’s faces (uncovered by reporter Roddy Boyd), all but begging them to pause and say “Hey wait second, would a hedge fund manager running a legitimate and successful shop…” Read more »

Bernie Madoff Was An Insatiable Whore: Prosecutors

One thing you might have imagined, in thinking about the decades-long, multi-billion dollar financial fraud perpetrated by Bernard Madoff, was that the operation demanded a lot of the Ponzi master’s time. Lotta man hours, lotta late nights. That he and his team worked ’round the clock to generate all those falsified accounting documents, coming in early, leaving late, and bringing work home. That most days, they didn’t have time for much else, be it surfing the internet, taking a long lunch, or having sex with each other from 6 until 7 in the morning, and then again from 1PM ’til market close. In fact, such was not the case! Read more »

Let this be a lesson to anyone hoping to avoid a couple centuries in prison– nobody fucks with Jimmy Cayne’s roach clip and gets away with it! Read more »

  • 18 Jan 2013 at 6:14 PM

Bernie Madoff Was A Toni Braxton Fan

Unfortunately the Ponzi schemer and TB had to part ways when the government seized his assets but now you have a chance to enjoy all the ballads that would get him through late nights at the office, plus his favorite numbers from Chicago, the best of Barbara Streisand, and every other item in Berns’ prized CD collection, available today for the extremely reasonable price of $100. Act now! [eBay via Complex]

One piece of financial advice that is well known among the cognoscenti but less obvious to some folks in Florida is that you can do 90% of your investment due diligence just by looking at a fund’s name. The tricky thing is that the scale sort of wraps around, like so:
(1) Name that specifies how safe it is (“Global Securities Safety-First Principal Protection Ultra-Conservative Fund”) = probably a Ponzi scheme;
(2) Mythological figure, geological feature, wealthy neighborhood, etc. = you’re good, past performance should predict future returns;
(3) Word from Tolkien = dealer’s choice;
(4) Name that specifies how unsafe it is (“Death Star,” “Terrible Ideas Investment Management”) = probably not a great sign but maybe?

White Elephant Trading Co. LLC Conservative Fixed Income Fund” is the first case I have ever seen of flunking at both ends – it is both “an object, scheme, business venture, facility, etc., considered to be without use or value” and a Conservative Fixed Income Fund. It was also the dream of one Gurudeo “Buddy” Persaud, who promised* investors high and stable returns with one teeny little catch: Read more »

Allen Stanford Has No Idea What You’re Talking About

“I didn’t run a Ponzi scheme, I didn’t defraud anybody, and there was never any intent to defraud anybody,” Mr. Stanford, wearing a green prison jumpsuit, told U.S. District Court Judge David Hittner before he was sentenced [to 110 years in prison]. [WSJ]