pop quizzes

  • lucarelli

    News

    Investor Relations Exec Reading Statement At Sentencing For Insider Trading Or Insane Person At A Bar Telling His Life’s Story? You Make The Call

    Earlier today, a man was given a platform to make some brief remarks and ended up telling a rambling story that surprised onlookers with its non-sequiturs, bizarre details, and, at times, volume. Was he doing so during a hearing in federal court or at a bar in downtown Manhattan (let’s just call it The Patriot)? […]

    / Jan 21, 2015 at 4:14 PM
  • Tim Geithner

    News

    Is Tim Geithner Having The Best Week Ever?

    Judging by this photo taken of him yesterday on his way to testify in the AIG case, we’re going to go with yes. But what specifically was the cause of that 5 mile long grin? Was it:

    / Oct 7, 2014 at 12:42 PM
  • Hedge Funds

    Bill Ackman Skeptical, Has Questions About Every Single Thing Herbalife Said Today

    The “pyramid scheme” known as Herbalife has now cost Bill Ackman’s investors something like $300 million, thanks in part to its “best quarter ever.” Of course, that plaudit depends on actually believing the things said in Herbalife’s unaudited financial statements, and luckily for Bill Ackman, he does not. And has a few questions.

    / Jul 30, 2013 at 4:43 PM
  • asnessdesk

    News

    How Well Do You Know Cliff Asness? Dealbreaker Trivia: Home Edition (UPDATE)

    Update: And our winner, with 23 points out of a possible 38, is Long Time, who should get in touch to claim his or her prize! _________________________________________________________________________ It’s a Friday, it’s a Friday before a holiday weekend, it’s a Friday before a holiday weekend and the day after Dealbreaker Trivia. If you were expecting much […]

    / May 24, 2013 at 3:14 PM
  • News

    A Wildebeest Leaves New York Traveling North At 10 MPH. A Hyena Leaves Westport Traveling South At 15MPH. At What Time Does The Wildebeest Get Eaten?

    As many of you know, Bridgewater Associates is mega-successful, multi-billion dollar hedge fund guided by Principles, a company handbook written by founder and Mentor Ray Dalio, which instructs employees to go on radical truth seeking missions in order to better themselves and in turn the firm. Bridgewater takes the principles very seriously and each member of the staff is given spiral bound copies to read, highlight, and imbue their souls with. While the idea of Truth above all else is the overarching idea, there are literally hundreds of principles (such as 31a. “Ask yourself whether you have earned the right to have an opinion,” 130. “…Firing people is not a big deal…” and 184. “Use checklists”) which span 123 pages and are broken down into outline form after being explained at length. Though familiarity with them has always been an essential part of the job, there has never been formal test determining that all employees met the required level of efficiency. Until now.

    Apparently the firm has notified employees that there will be an exam on the material, which has resulted in people carrying around their copies and studying whenever they can, particularly on the bus ride from Manhattan to Wesport and back. No date has been announced but it will be administered online à la one of those mandatory HR quizzes that won’t let you skip forward. According to proctors, Bridgewater simply wants to use the test as an opportunity to asses what people know, how they’re interpreting the principles, and what requires further elucidation. It’s unclear what the penalty for failing will be but remedial Principles classes seem obvious. Because we would hate to see any of you have to stay after school, we’ve highlighted what is most likely to be covered– feel free to print these out and add to your study guide.


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    Principles [Bridgewater]

     

    essential

     

     

    (which expects the staff to “probe” each other regularly, no matter one’s rank, in order to foster openness and meritocracy).

    / Apr 4, 2012 at 3:08 PM
  • News

    Please Place The Following Scene In Context

    In the above photo, the man in the Speedo is:

    / Oct 19, 2010 at 12:15 PM
  • News

    What Would The Emperor’s Club Hookers Say Every Time Eliot Spitzer Came A’ Calling?

    Hint: You don’t get the designation “noted” hooker fucker for a one time job.

    / Sep 28, 2010 at 12:06 PM
  • News

    Think Twice Before Saying No To That Naked Camping Trip With The Office

    Backwoods dildo adventures. Par for the course at many of the tri-state area’s most prestigious hedge funds. Most people know this is coming when they sign on, and the various reasons why it’ll make them a valuable member of the team. Shame that makes you stronger and all that jazz. Still, for some, it can […]

    / Sep 21, 2010 at 3:19 PM
  • News

    Pop Quiz: Through Whose Lips Did The Following Prediction Pass?

    “Where am I going to be in a year? Let’s put it this way, I’m going to be living the dream.” Hint: known for his deep in the money calls, this person has been described as one of the greatest minds on Wall Street, who in addition to his market moving prognostications, is known for […]

    / Aug 6, 2010 at 11:55 AM
  • News

    Serious Question Of The Day

    “Is Greenwich ready for bestiality?”

    / Jun 16, 2010 at 4:11 PM
  • News

    Trader Takes Road Less Traveled When Breaking Into Mistress’s Apartment

    You’re a married trader carrying on an affair with a receptionist who’s only seeing you because you’ve promised to leave your wife. She wants a committed relationship so she breaks it off with you and starts seeing a new man, one who’s not married. You’re the jealous type and not happy at all about this. […]

    / May 26, 2010 at 1:15 PM

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