Earlier today, a man was given a platform to make some brief remarks and ended up telling a rambling story that surprised onlookers with its non-sequiturs, bizarre details, and, at times, volume. Was he doing so during a hearing in federal court or at a bar in downtown Manhattan (let’s just call it The Patriot)? Based on the following clues, you tell us:
The man name dropped many a super model he claimed to have worked with
He bitched about his boss
He worked in a story about getting into– and winning– a fistfight with his father when he was 16
Not on this occasion but one past ones, he’s been known to pair flip-flops with sweatpants
He spoke of the marriage troubles/bedroom problems associated with having a wife 20 years one’s junior
There was a brief aside about coke
He was told at least twice to keep it down, because he was yelling
Update: And our winner, with 23 points out of a possible 38, is Long Time, who should get in touch to claim his or her prize!
It’s a Friday, it’s a Friday before a holiday weekend, it’s a Friday before a holiday weekend and the day after Dealbreaker Trivia. If you were expecting much from us, our condolences! Still, we’re not totally without compassion for those of you who’ve got some time to kill before being unchained from your desks and granted temporary freedom. Presumably you were thinking the best way to while away the hours would be to test your Dealbreaker knowledge and lucky for you, we were thinking the same thing. While the following will not be a helpful waste of time for the Friends of DB who attended last night,* know that we hold you slightly closer in our hearts than the mere Aquaintances of DB who did not.
For the chance to win an ‘I heart Dealbreaker’ button, please determine the answers to the abridged version of last night’s no holds barred compeition, and submit them here. If you’re going to violate the honors system and Google the answers, just think about the shame that will follow you throughout Memorial Day weekend and beyond, perhaps all the way to Labor Day weekend and possibly for the rest of your life. Please begin. Read more »
As many of you know, Bridgewater Associates is mega-successful, multi-billion dollar hedge fund guided by Principles, a company handbook written by founder and Mentor Ray Dalio, which instructs employees to go on radical truth seeking missions in order to better themselves and in turn the firm. Bridgewater takes the principles very seriously and each member of the staff is given spiral bound copies to read, highlight, and imbue their souls with. While the idea of Truth above all else is the overarching idea, there are literally hundreds of principles (such as 31a. “Ask yourself whether you have earned the right to have an opinion,” 130. “…Firing people is not a big deal…” and 184. “Use checklists”), which span 123 pages and are broken down into outline form after being explained at length. Though familiarity with them has always been an essential part of the job, there has never been a formal test determining that all employees met the required level of efficiency. Until now. Read more »
Backwoods dildo adventures. Par for the course at many of the tri-state area’s most prestigious hedge funds. Most people know this is coming when they sign on, and the various reasons why it’ll make them a valuable member of the team. Shame that makes you stronger and all that jazz. Still, for some, it can come as a shock when they initially read the email from the boss telling everyone to pack their bags for a trip that will foster a “mature sense of masculinity” among the group. They might even refuse to take part in the event, which could spell serious trouble in the form of negative reviews, shitty bonuses and even termination. We bring this up today so you don’t make that mistake, like Steve Eggleston, who would probably go back in time and whittle his own “wooden phallus” if he knew then what he knows now. Read more »