In December 2009, bond guru and self-described “genius” Jeffrey Gundlach quit TCW to start his own firm, DoubleLine LLC. When he left, his former employer alleges, he took with him TCW staff, client information, and technology, which form the basis of their suit against JG (who prefers to be called “The Pope”) that is set to go to trial July 25. What Gundlach did not take with him and instead left in his office for TCW to find was a cornucopia of drugs, paraphernalia, toys and porn that gave the impression he was operating a online wholesale sex shop distributor and keeping the inventory at work. The stash included: Continue reading »
porn
Layoff season has begun and it’s no secret that there’s more coming. And with the shrinking of the financial industry generally, some of you are probably going to have to think about transitioning to a new industry. One where you can use your above-average interpersonal skills, process management expertise, knowledge of cash flow modeling, and I don’t know, I’m going to say maybe your familiarity with what goes on in the back room at New York Dolls.
Fortunately JobSerf.com has a solution: hire a team of workers in Visakhapatnam, India, to send your resume to porn businesses looking to beef up their executive management teams.
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As you may recall, last February an unnamed Securities and Exchange Commission worker got in a bit of trouble with his employer for viewing porn while on the job. The guy made at least 1,800 logged attempts to check out some sites that included www.ladyboyx.com, www.ladyboyjuice.com, www.trannytit.com, and www.anal-sins.com, which, he admitted, “were kind of distraction, per se.” But he had a good reason which is that he had a lot of work to do, and it was stressing him out. Apparently the guy, who remains employed by the SEC wasn’t alone- thirty three individuals employed by the regulator in its Denver, Atlanta, Boston, Chicago, Los Angeles, Fort Worth, Texas, and Washington, D.C. offices have had issues getting through the work day without taking a break for some ‘me time.’ Continue reading »
Earlier today on CNBC, Home Depot co-founder Bernie Marcus pitched a new TV series. “Take Timothy Geithner and put him in a new reality show,” Marcus told Squawk Box. “It’s called ‘Timothy Geithner Does Small Business’, something like ‘Debbie Does Dallas’, and it ends up the same way,” he said. ”Basically, what they [the government] is doing to small business is very similar in this case [to what ‘Debbie’ did to Dallas.]” Continue reading »
Such as, how do you pronounce his last name? You might’ve assumed it was “Gund-lack” but it’s actually “Goond-lack.” Trying using it in a sentence. (If you want, take this one: “Good-lack, it’s really uncool that you haven’t returned my copy of Ass Traffic, Volume 9. Oh, what, now that you’ve got your own firm you don’t have to play by the rules?”) As for the other issues, Goond-lack completely avoids the question, which, if you want to talk about uncool, really tops. You’d think someone who previously claimed to in no way be ashamed but instead proud– as he well should be– of the library of porn in his office and the finest collection of dildos in the world wouldn’t have a problem talking Dr. Fellatio but apparently you’d think wrong.
Finally! After six grueling months of negotiations with the union representing Securities and Exchange Commission’s employees, the agency plans to issue 294 BlackBerry’s to certain staffers by the end of July. We’re not sure whether the new devices will be the old-school Berry’s with the side-scroll wheel or the newfangled 3G models with web browsing, but you can be sure SEC favorites like www.ladyboyx.com will be blocked. Continue reading »
A couple months ago, we discussed an SEC worker who got in a bit of trouble with his employer for checking out a little porn while on the job. The unnamed supervisor made at least 1,800 logged attempts to check out some sites that included www.ladyboyx.com, www.ladyboyjuice.com, www.trannytit.com, and www.anal-sins.com, which, he admitted, “were kind of distraction per se.” Since then, when mentioning the Commission, we’ve casually suggested (by stating outright) that the majority of the staff spends its time looking at porn instead of, for instance, nailing Allen Stanford or Bernie Madoff. But we were just kidding! We had no reason to believe anyone but the tranny fetishist did this. A little hyperbole, etc. You know how it goes. As it turns out, though, the guy is actually in some good company. Like he told the lawyer sent in to investigate the matter, the hundreds attempts to get on www.ladyboyjuice.com alone in one day was an outlet to deal with the stress of the job. And according to a new probe by the SEC inspector general, over 30 of his colleagues, who ramped up their porn viewing time since the crisis started, have the same excuse. The world was ending! How could they be expected to deal with the global financial meltdown without Anal Sins 9-5? Also let’s give props where props are due. Some of these people (like the attorney who “admitted to downloading so much pornography to his government computer that he exhausted the available space on the computer hard drive and downloaded pornography to CDs or DVDs that he accumulated in boxes in his office”) are great problem solvers. They’d probably do a good job of catching frauds if they weren’t looking at tranny tits all day.
It’s not that they want to, as it would go against everything the Commission stands for (incompetence, letting frauds run rampant), not to mention seriously cut in on everyone’s porn surfing time. It’s just that, (no) thanks to the infernal examiner’s report, they might have, or risk looking worse than they already do.** Continue reading »
The SEC fucks up a lot. A whole lot. This is more or less a given. David Einhorn has been saying this for eons– from personal experience, having dealt with the brain trust in the case of Allied Capital–, as has Bernie Madoff who, from the jail cell in which he rots, made no bones about the fact that he was eternally grateful that the regulator operated at the intelligence level wherein it wouldn’t know not to stick its (collective) dick in a pencil sharpener. Still, for those of you who need just a little more proof, SEC inspector general David Kotz is happy to add some color.
About two miles separate the Securities and Exchange Commission’s headquarters in Washington from the offices of Allied Capital, a District-based private-equity company. But over the course of an 18-month government probe into whether Allied Capital overstated the value of its holdings, nobody from the regulator ever visited the firm to ask questions, according to a new, internal SEC review that raises questions about the agency’s oversight of the financial industry.
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Let It Be Known, The CFA Will Not Have Its Name Tainted By Images Of Taints
By Bess Levin
I see your precious 3 letters and raise you 3 of my own: S a D
For those of you currently debating whether or not obtaining a CFA charter is worth flushing several years of your life down the toilet, I’d like you to consider one thing. When and if you finally do pass that third exam do you want the institute to own your ass? Budding pornographers, erotic novelists and really anyone with a taste for the finer things in life should think long and hard. Nickolas Keith Gustafsson (pictured) knows what we’re talking about. From the March/April CFA Magazine/Journal of Shame:
Apparently he’d had it with the commission’s freaky ass rules. Publicly, he’s talking about the ones relating to short selling, though odds are he wasn’t thrilled about this shit, either.
The U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission’s top economist is leaving the agency after Chairman Mary Schapiro merged his office with another and passed short- selling rules that hedge funds said ignored financial analysis.
James Overdahl, whose office reviews potential regulations to determine whether benefits outweigh costs, said in an e-mail today that he will step down March 31 to join NERA Economic Consulting. He joined the SEC in 2007 from the Commodity Futures Trading Commission, where he also served as the top economist.
