predictions

  • Lock up your Hamptons Houses

    Goldman Sachs To Offer More Would-Be Partners Opportunity To Go David Tepper On An Executive’s Ass This Year

    Each year, after a long and very comprehensive background check, a lucky group of Goldman employees are abducted from their desks, blindfolded, gagged, and led by candlelight through a dark hallway and into a subterranean conference room. Standing on the table before them are Lloyd Blankfein, Gary Cohn and the rest of the management committee, who ask if they are prepared to pledge their devotion to the firm above all else. Those who agree have their nether regions dipped in a vat of gold, genuflect before Cohn’s groin, and, at the stroke of midnight, are inducted into the Brotherhood of the Sach. While there are many ways that becoming a member of the club will change one’s life, the most important one involves the partaking of astronomical profits on payday. As a result, when people are not invited to join the group, they tend to get very upset. For instance, hedge fund manager David Tepper, who became a billionaire many times over after leaving the firm, was still so upset about the snub twenty years later that he bought and bulldozed the house of the guy who passed him over. Others probably wouldn’t have even gone to the trouble of buying the place first, and operated the wrecking ball themselves. Which is why we say in full seriousness that the Partnership Committee might want to watch its back.

    Goldman Sachs has begun vetting potential new partners and is expected to appoint a smaller number of bankers to its upper echelons this year, according to senior executives involved in the process… The nomination process for new partners ended during the summer. The internal vetting process began earlier this month and is expected to last until mid-November when the new class of partners will be announced. The vetting process is known within the bank as “cross-ruffing”, in reference to a manoeuvre from the card game bridge and typically sees a team of partners deployed to every division to talk to employees who know the candidates.

    [FT, related]

    / Sep 26, 2012 at 2:13 PM
  • News

    Layoffs Watch ’12: Everyone

    According to Meredith Whitney, banks will be cutting another 100,000 employees in the near to very near future. [Bloomberg]

    / Sep 19, 2012 at 4:22 PM
  • News

    Analyst: In 5-8 Years, Dan Loeb Will Be Gathering Evidence Revealing Mark Zuckerberg Made False Claims About Dropping Out Of Harvard

    Facebook will lose dominance as a major web company in less than a decade, Eric Jackson, founder of Ironfire Capital said Monday on CNBC’s Squawk on the Street. “In five to eight years they are going to disappear in the way that Yahoo has disappeared,” Jackson said. “Yahoo is still making money, it’s still profitable, […]

    / Jun 4, 2012 at 4:27 PM
  • News

    There Is Zero Percent Doubt In Marc Faber’s Mind We’re Headed For A Worldwide Recession

    “I think we could have a global recession either in Q4 or early 2013.” When asked what were the odds, Faber replied, “100%.” [CNBC]

    / May 25, 2012 at 2:28 PM
  • warren_buffett

    News

    [Voice in the control room] Ask Him To Give Us His Stock Picks For That Scenario

    CNBC: You’re very optimistic about the future not only of this country but also of the stock market. If you have a list of worries, what’s at the top of that list? Buffett: Nuclear, chemical, and biological attacks. Whether by government or some rogue group. That will happen some day in our future and it […]

    / Feb 27, 2012 at 12:35 PM
  • News

    George Soros Is Not Here To Make You Feel Warm And Toasty Inside! George Soros Is Not Here To Tuck You In At Night!

    George Soros is here to tell you a bedtime story about what happens to little boys and girls who don’t listen to every damn word he has to say!

    / Jan 24, 2012 at 5:04 PM
  • News

    Prophet Gartman Tees Himself For Another Told Ya So

    Unlike past predictions, no one has to die for Dennis to nail this one (that we know of).

    / Jan 4, 2012 at 11:41 AM
  • News

    Dick Bové: Everyone Is Getting Fired

    Over the past six months or so, Wall Street has laid off a whole bunch of people. Unfortunately, having a job at this very moment does not mean you will 3 months hence. More cuts are a’ coming and according to Rochdale analyst Dick Bové, a lot more. What kind of numbers is he talking […]

    / Dec 16, 2011 at 12:59 PM
  • earnings

    After Exhaustive Analysis, Barclays Reckons That Some Banks May Show A Loss In Q3

    The Brits hate to be the bearers of bad news but if they have to, they have to.

    / Sep 22, 2011 at 2:00 PM
  • News

    Bloomberg: Go Get Your Gas Masks

    Mayor Bloomberg warned Friday there would be riots in the streets if Washington doesn’t get serious about generating jobs. “We have a lot of kids graduating college, can’t find jobs,” Bloomberg said on his weekly WOR radio show. “That’s what happened in Cairo. That’s what happened in Madrid. You don’t want those kinds of riots […]

    / Sep 16, 2011 at 1:01 PM
  • News

    Dick X. Bové Wants To Make Sure You Know The ‘X’ Stands For Xcellence

    From: Richard Bove Sent: Friday, September 09, 2011 05:58 AM Subject: Predictions

    / Sep 9, 2011 at 10:36 AM
  • News

    Nouriel Roubini: Day Of Reckoning Coming In 2013 Or Not

    “I thought a few months ago that the perfect storm would be 2013,” Roubini said in an interview in London today. “But now, the economic weakness in the U.S., euro zone and the U.K. is front loaded. So we’re going to double dip earlier. The climax of it could be 2013, or it could be […]

    / Sep 6, 2011 at 5:37 PM
  • News

    Dennis Gartman Positions Himself Perfectly To Be Able To Say He Called The End Of The Gold Rally

    “Gold is strong in any and all currency terms, and it is now entering that stage when prices go parabolic,” Gartman said today in his Suffolk, Virginia-based Gartman Letter. “This will end when it ends; there is really nothing more that can or shall or should be said.” [Bloomberg] Related: Dennis Gartman Just Wants To […]

    / Aug 22, 2011 at 5:31 PM
  • News

    Analyst: Might Not Want To Light A Match Near Athens

    As Egger noted, there is “ample precedent” for protests to turn into riots. In 2008, demonstrations over the shooting of Alexandros Grigoropoulos, a 15-year old boy, by police in Athens, turned into a week-long riot, with public buildings, including a police station, set on fire by protestors wielding Molotov cocktails. The riots escalated so quickly […]

    / Jun 20, 2011 at 3:47 PM
  • News

    Jamie Dimon: Debt Default Would “Dwarf Lehman”

    It would be a “moral disaster” if the United States were to default on its debts and become unable to pay its obligations, Jamie Dimon said at an appearance in Colorado Thursday evening. The U.S. is the financial linchpin of the world, and the economic effects of the U.S. defaulting could be “potentially catastrophic,” he […]

    / May 20, 2011 at 4:00 PM
  • News

    Meredith Whitney: “I have more conviction on the municipal bond call than I’ve had on any single thing in my career”

    Last fall, Meredith Whitney made a prediction. Perhaps you remember it? It was part of a report called “Tragedy of the Commons,” wherein the analyst said that there would be “hundreds of billions of dollars’ worth” of municipal-bond defaults a’ coming. While some agreed with her, a vocal contingent did not. Charlie Gasparino, for instance, […]

    / May 4, 2011 at 6:05 PM
  • News

    Jamie Dimon: 100 Municipalities Might Bite The Dust

    Don’t freak out though, it’s not a big deal. Uncle D says this is nothing to worry about.

    / Mar 30, 2011 at 3:33 PM
  • News

    Got Plans For June 30, 2011?

    Bill Gross suggests marking it down on your calendar– as D-Day, The Sequel.

    / Mar 2, 2011 at 1:36 PM

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