Prince Alwaleed

  • 15 Mar 2010 at 4:00 PM

Prince Alwaleed’s Got His Fingers Crossed 2010 Will Be A Profitable Year At Citi

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Mr. Vikram is just one good quarter away from all this.

Back in January, Prince Alwaleed informed Vikram Pandit that after “two years of leeway from shareholders,” 2010 is the year the Citi CEO must deliver. To that end, from here on out, the Prince said, Uncle Vik’s ass will ridden like Zorro, no if/ands/or buts about it. Alwaleed doesn’t typically enjoy getting so harsh on his li’l fella, but the tone was necessary. And so far, he’s pretty pretty pretty pleased with how things are going. Continue reading »

  • 22 Jan 2010 at 2:26 PM

Prince Alwaleed Thought Avatar Sucked

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Prince Alwaleed was on Charlie Rose last night to discuss a whole mess of topics. Obviously he had to get the pink pony out of the way first which was that yes, he’s spoken to Vikram and made it clear that the honeymoon is over and Vickle’s has gotta make 2010 the year he moves his ass on making this Citi thing work (to that end, at various intervals throughout the day, a recording of the Prince shouting “Move your ass, Mr. Vikram! Hustle! Hustle those buns!” will be played over the loudspeaker in VP’s executive suite, scaring the shit out of people not expecting it). Moving onto more important issues was whether or not Big Al had seen Avatar, and what he thought of it. Here’s what he told Chuck:

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  • 15 Jan 2010 at 10:15 AM

Prince Alwaleed: “The Honeymoon Is Over, Vikram”

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As you’re aware, yesterday was Count Vikula’s birthday and while it was supposed to be a super fun day, free of stress and full of cake, things didn’t exactly pan out that way. Prince Alwaleed made it for the occasion, took VP out for a nice dinner and made sure to tell him how nice he looked. Unfortunately, he also felt the need to rain on Pandito’s day, by talking shop before dessert. Specifically, the Prince told Vickles that he’s had “two years of leeway from shareholders, and the honeymoon is over. 2010 is the year you need to deliver.” 2008, 2009? Breakfast in bed, served by a rotating cast of investors. 2010? Get your own donut, from the coffee cart guy on Park. 2008, 2009? Pony rides around the building. 2010? The Prince will be riding your ass like Zorro (bareback).

  • 05 Oct 2009 at 11:03 AM

Prince Alwaleed bin Talal Is Ready For The Government To Pack Up And Leave

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alwaleedhorse.jpgHe appreciates everything everyone’s done at Citi, but it’s time to move on. Just pack up your shit, and mosey on out of the place. Hit the bricks. Be gone. This has nothing to do with someone itching to reclaim his title as the single largest shareholder of the bank, BTW, or Geithner acting like a priss when asked to clean up AbT’s horse’s shit (though it would’ve been nice if he could’ve checked his attitude at the door). Everyone at Citi has learned their lesson and the adult supervision is no longer necessary. All good in the hood.

“The earlier the U.S. government exits its investments in those companies, the better,” as long as the withdrawal is not done in a way that hurts the prices of U.S. banking stocks, the Saudi billionaire was quoted as saying in an interview published on Sunday.
“We need to give confidence back to the shareholders and investors that these companies are moving along without government support.”

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