The following is a (not at all comprehensive) list of things that UBS could legitimately be embarrassed about:

- Losing so much money that a rogue trader’s $2billion loss barely registered above ‘meh’ on the Do We Care scale
- Awarding 4-figure bonuses to managing directors
- Employing a guy who “implored bankers to make a more concerted effort to streamline the firm and likened the strategy to slashing expenses like a ‘Jewish shopkeeper’”
- This
- Having the entire healthcare team decide Jeffereies is a better place to work
- Being scammed by a bunch of ops guys
- Pulling a reverse Field of Dreams and spending all the money it didn’t have to build a 103,000-square-foot trading floor, in a 700,000-square-foot building, that no one wants to work on or in
- Getting no respect from the people of Stamford, who’d prefer “a nice big Costco” move into the space
- Having to distribute a step-by-step guide re: how to tie a tie

And yet, rather than worry the suggestion its employees have been wearing clip-ons reflects poorly on the institution or taking the time to send out a memo that reads “Subject: Hey, Body: Stop losing so much fucking money!”, the bank’s execs are devoting their energy to this:  Read more »