Tags: Danielle Spencer, Dubai, girlfriends, HSBC, I'm nervous, love triangles, new shit has come to light, Priscila Ferreira, prison, Toby Carroll
Last week we met Toby Carroll, a New Zealand-born real estate analyst for HSBC currently stationed in Dubai, who’d spent the last two months in prison. Carroll had ended up there after his ex-girlfriend, Priscilla Ferreira, found him and a new girl, Danielle Spencer, in his apartment and proceeded to start slashing curtains, furniture, etc, and go after the Danielle with a knife. The police were called and all three were put in jail because in Dubai, sex outside marriage is illegal.
Today brings word that Carroll, who friends describe as as “a fun-loving party boy who was dedicated to his job, a snappy dresser who liked women but wasn’t womanizer,” has been released from prison. So, that’s good news! Unfortunately, some other details seems to suggest things aren’t going to be so great for him in the near term. Read more »
Tags: Danielle Spencer, Dubai, HSBC, Priscilla, prison, Toby Carroll, wtf
Toby Carroll is a New Zealand-born real estate analyst for HSBC currently stationed in Dubai. If you’re a colleague in the field currently trying to get in touch with him, you’ll have to wait a bit longer, because he currently in prison. Read more »
Tags: bright sides, Insider Trading Fest(ivus) 2010, insider-trading, prison, statistics
As you may have heard, the Feds are currently hoping to nail a not insignificant number of people for insider trading. Whether you’ve merely dabbled in the hot tips game or traded on material non-public information so many times you’ve lost count, the question ‘Would I survive in the big house?’ may have crossed your mind. It’s a legitimate worry but today you can unclench your fear-stricken ass. Read more »
Tags: Coffee, French vanilla latte = our answer to the question Is Jeff Skilling A Top Or Bottom, French-vanilla latte, Jeff Skilling, prison, tips
Jeff Skilling was once president of a company that (claimed to) rake in over $100 billion annually. Now he’s had to kiss carbs good-bye (“You don’t want to get sick in here,” he said, as he talked about practicing yoga, walking four miles a day, and avoiding carbohydrate-heavy meals to stay fit) and beg reporters visiting him in the joint to buy him a cup of coffee.
Ninety minutes into our meeting, Skilling lowered his eyes to the floor. “I apologize for asking,” he said, embarrassment in his voice. “Could you buy me a cup of coffee? Inmates aren’t allowed to touch money or approach the machines. They could put me in solitary for a week.”
As I got his French-vanilla latte and recovered from astonishment that a man who had led a $110 billion company was not allowed to handle two quarters, I took the opportunity to get more personal, asking, “What is life like in jail? What is the scariest part of being here?”
You wanna avoid this fate, which likely also includes asking Bubba’s permission to have the night off? Skillings got some tips for avoiding unsolicited tips on the inside. Read more »
Tags: Allen Stanford, Forbes lists, Ponzi schemes, prison, savage beatings, sticky wickets
How can we get back to here?
Hey remember Allen Stanford? It’s been a while, hasn’t it? When we last checked in with the accused Ponzier, in December, a prison psychologist was arguing that if the guy wasn’t let out of jail ASAP, it was very likely he’d “a complete nervous breakdown.” Apparently that wasn’t a convincing argument for those who make the decisions as to whether or not people are just allowed to up and leave because he’s still there, asking to be freed. Stanford, who never recovered after the SEC robbed him of being listed as the 405th wealthiest person in the world by Forbes, said in a filing that he should be cut loose because 1) keeping him behind bars is unconstitutional 2) he’s been getting some serious shit kicked out of him.
In a filing on Tuesday with the federal court in Houston, lawyers for Stanford said their client had been “subjected to substantial and undeniable punishment,” including nearly a year of incarceration and both physical and psychological damage. This and the prospect of more than a year of further custody until and during his trial, which is scheduled to start in January 2011, violates his constitutional rights to due process, effective assistance of counsel, a speedy trial, and an absence of excessive bail, the lawyers said. “When Mr. Stanford surrendered to authorities, he was a healthy 59-year-old man,” Stanford’s Houston-based lawyer, Robert Bennett, wrote in a brief on which Harvard Law Professor Alan Dershowitz consulted.
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Tags: Bernie Madoff, he's talkin' to you Mark and Andy, I have to draw you, prison
As previously mentioned, Bernie Madoff’s life in prison is prettay prettay prettay good. Fellow inmates make him delicious wrap sandwiches, he’s in with “the homosexual posse,” and every now and then he gets stoned. The Jouranal checked in with the big man, and reports today that things are still going quite nicely. He plays bocce, chess and checkers. He “walks around the prison with his head held high.” And he’s got respect. “To every con artist, he is the godfather, the don,” says an inmate interviewed earlier this week. One thing that does chap his hide though? The cockbags he used to employ, who got off easy. I mean sure, the scam was his idea, and he did most of the heavy lifting, all of which they benefited from– and he didn’t hear any complaints at the time. Maybe, when he gets out of the joint, he’ll come down there and give them a crew cut.
Mr. Madoff chatted about the fraud’s aftermath, claiming he “carried” employees at Bernard L. Madoff Securities LLC for more than two decades, yet wound up with an astronomical prison sentence. “I guess he felt they turned their back on him,” Mr. White says.
Despite this upset, Berns knows he’s got it going pretty good, and also that he’s hot shit. That’s why fellow inmates have tried to get his signature to sell on eBay, and make bank. That, Mades will not go along with but he will sit for any interested in sketching the man, the myth, the legend in all his regalness.
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Tags: AIG, prison, The Grand Prize Game
Sentencing for federal crimes is governed by federal sentencing guidelines and a “severity points” system developed by the Federal Sentencing Commission. There’s a very thick manual with lots of detail involved, but basically the process (omitting quite a bit) goes like this.
1. Determine the base offense level.
2. Make any changes due to “Special Offense Characteristics.”
3. Add or subtract any “adjustments.”
4. Apply the perpetrator’s criminal history.
5. Add up all the points, read the sentence range on the chart.
So… when we read this:
A financial manipulation scheme cost American International Group investors at least $544 million, a judge has estimated…
We can play the Grand Prize Game!
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