After the Great Auto CEO Debacle of 2008, the government had put its foot down on private-jet use by CEOs of TARP-supported companies, and when these onerous restrictions threatened to thwart his ability to make his granddaughter’s birthday party in Chicago, he exploded. “I said to Jim, ‘Here is the deal,’ ” he recalls. “ ‘I’m going to go and see my granddaughter, and I’m going to take that plane and shove it up your fucking ass. And everyone else’s ass. You are going to break my banana over this shit?’ ” [NYM]
Japan’s economy may suffer unless visiting executives such as Apple Inc. Chief Executive Officer Steve Jobs can more easily jet in and out of the country by private aircraft, said a Japanese business aviation group. Jobs vowed never to return to Japan after he was forced to ditch ninja throwing stars found in his luggage on his way to boarding his private jet at Kansai International Airport, Japan’s SPA! magazine reported this week, citing unidentified airport officials. Apple spokesman Steve Dowling said the incidents described in SPA didn’t take place. “Complaints from private jet passengers do happen fairly frequently,” Kazunobu Sato, vice chairman of the Japan Business Aviation Association, said in an interview yesterday in Tokyo. “The strength of Japanese businesses will slowly decline if business jet use doesn’t increase.” [Bloomberg]
What’s this joyous news you hear? I’ll tell you what– Lenny Dykstra’s house is back on the market! It’s the same one– Wayne Gretzky’s old place– that Nails tried to sell back in June 2008 for $24,950,000, hoping for a 33% return (LD bought the Thousand Oaks manse for $18.5 million on in August 2007), only this time, it comes with so much more. Like dog feces. Piss on the walls. Empty beer bottles. Trash. Other “unmentionables.”
You guys, this is heartbreaking. As you know, the one thing that matters most to Lenny Dykstra in this world is flying private. After he did it the first time, he I loved it and swore he’d never go back to flying commercial. Nails’ finances being a little tight these days, he hasn’t been able to do much traveling, but he’s never let go of the idea of stretching his shit out thirty thousand feet above the ground, sans plebes and their rug rats rubbing up against him and asking “Hey Mister, didn’t anyone ever tell you to chew with your mouth closed?” That’s why after LD was forced to vacate his Thousand Oaks estate (where he left, among other things, dog feces on the floor), he started shacking up at airplane leasing company Avantair’s offices, where Dyks’ Player’s Club mag subleased space, ’cause he had no other place to go, it felt like home, and he could finger the catalogs.
Unfortunately, Avantair, apparently has a little problem with the fact that Nails hasn’t paid them any money since September 2008 and want him out of there, so they’re suing the guy. Obviously our little solider isn’t going to go down without a fight, which is why he told Avantair’s attorneys that “the sheriff” will have to “drag” him out, but this still stings, really bad. And it almost makes me think that the Avantair doesn’t remember or perhaps never knew what private flying means to LD, or how they could come to some sort of an agreement wherein he became in their spokesman and in exchange got to sleep on the floor. And so I would ask them to read this, and just, think about what they’re doing.