Nobody’s trying to put Paul Singer in jail—yet—but the Elliott Management chief has had to disclose an insider-trading probe to his investors. Read more »
SEC Staffers Have Made Remarkable Progress Re: Learning What Constitutes Appropriate Use Of A Work ComputerBy Bess Levin
If you had asked us two years or two months or two days ago if we thought that there would be a time in the near future when Securities and Exchange employees would not be regularly reprimanded for watching porn on their work-issued computers for 98 percent of the workday, we would have said absolutely not. No judgment, but in our professional opinion, people do not go from, among other things:
* Receiving “over 16,000 access denials for Internet websites classified by the Commission’s Internet filter as either “Sex” or “Pornography” in a one-month period”
* Accessing “Internet pornography and downloading pornographic images to his SEC computer during work hours so frequently that, on some days, he spent eight hours accessing Internet pornography…downloading so much pornography to his government computer that he exhausted the available space on the computer hard drive and downloaded pornography to CDs or DVDs that he accumulated in boxes in his office.”
* www.ladyboyx.com, www.ladyboyjuice.com, www.trannytit.com, and www.anal-sins.com
…to living a porn-free existence at l’office. Did we think they’d take baby steps toward that goal? Sure. But when you’ve tried to log on to your websites of choice, on average, 533 times a day, assuming weekends were worked, baby steps means getting yourself to a place where you can do a solid two hours of work each week without hitting up anal-sins.com. So you can imagine (and probably share in) our surprise to hear that, according to a probe by Interim Inspector General Jon Rymer re: “misuses of government resources,” the worst offenses one office was charged with claiming they needed iPads to do their jobs when really they just wanted to watch movies on them at home and going to hacker conferences without encrypting the data on their computers. Read more »
U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission investigators have concluded their probe of possible financial fraud at Lehman Brothers Holdings Inc. and determined that they will probably not recommend any enforcement action against the firm or its former executives, according to an excerpt of an internal agency memo. Under a heading reading “Activity in the Last Four Weeks,” the undated document reads, “The staff has concluded its investigation and determined that charges will likely not be recommended.” [Bloomberg]
Goldman said that it’s been notified of the probe via “oral advisement,” or the action known as “words exiting a human’s mouth,” to the layman. Read more »
Also, Chaz thinks all of this has gone too far, and just because something “smells bad” doesn’t mean it’s illegal.
According to an updated federal filing on Monday, the Justice Department has taken an interest in the split between investment firm TCW Group and its former CIO, Jeffrey Gundlach. While DoubleLine has confirmed that “some employees and former employees have been interviewed by the office of the U.S. attorney in Manhattan” and TCW has confirmed it received a subpoena and was informed “it is the victim in this particular matter,” it’s unclear exactly what aspect of the breakup the government is suspicious about. With so much to choose from it could be a) “the alleged theft of TCW’s information” by Gundlach, who left to start DoubleLine LLC b) whether or not government information related to a PPIP fund TCW dropped out of after Gundlach departed was “compromised” or c) if the items found in Gundlach’s office after he quit/was fired constituted an unfair edge, which they very well might have. To refresh, these items included:
Asian Office Sluts
Weapons of Ass Destruction Read more »
As you may have heard, Congresswoman Maxine Waters is currently being investigated on charges she arranged stimulus funds for a minority-owned bank in which Mr. Waters owned stock. Max maintains her innocence and wants a public trial to be held “as quickly as possible so she can clear her name.” In the meantime Ms. Waters says she’s gonna be putting a few people on trial herself– two of the biatches investigating her. Read more »
Wall Street Journal columnist David Weidner has some choice words for Phil Angelides and the Financial Crisis Inquiry Commission this morning. In short, he thinks the commission is just spinning its wheels, issuing worthless subpoenas and basically sputtering out. Perhaps they should take up Debrahlee’s cause. Read more »
Looks like Raj Rajaratnam’s complaints about leaks coming out of the Justice Department have not fallen on deaf ears. Raj’s attorney announced today that he has been informed by The DOJ’s Office of Professional Responsibility that it has opened an investigation into alleged leaks by the FBI and the U.S. Attorney’s office to the Wall Street Journal and other news outlets.
The Securities and Exchange Commission’s Inspector General, David Kotz, is also probing alleged leaks from the SEC about the Galleon case as part of his broader investigation into information that appeared in various news outlets before the announcement of the SEC’s charges against Goldman Sachs. Read more »
James Gorman, aka “Jimmy G,” is sick and tired of all these reporters suggesting his firm is under some kind of investigation by the Feds. Just because Goldman has been charged by the SEC, doesn’t mean Morgan Stanley, which lost a lot more money than GS during the crisis, also bet against its own shitty CDO deals. All the noise surely points to a conspiracy of short-sellers. And he knows who you are and he will hunt you down. Quick, back to watching Miss USA pole dancing before he catches you.