Jordan Belfort, aka the Wolf of Wall Street, hates it when people describe him as a criminal. “‘Convicted stock swindler’—it’s like it hurts my heart,” he says, practically shuddering. “I know it was true, but it’s not who I am. I say to my son, I say it to everybody who I try to mentor: We are not the mistakes of our past. We’re the resources and capabilities that we glean from our past. And it’s so true.” [BusinessWeek]

When President Barack Obama dropped by Lawrence Summers’s going-away party in 2010, he presented his National Economic Council director with a pair of suspenders, a gag gift to help Summers hold up his perpetually sagging trousers. The gesture was meant to tease Summers, known inside the West Wing for a mix of awkwardness, abrasiveness and brilliance, according to current and former administration officials, who say Obama regards him with both affection and exasperation. As Obama ponders a potential successor to Federal Reserve Chairman Ben S. Bernanke, his familiarity with Summers, 58, may give his onetime adviser an edge over Fed Vice Chairman Janet Yellen, whom Obama has scarcely met, the officials say…Summers worked in the Clinton administration throughout both terms. After he joined Obama’s White House in 2009, he was passed over for the Fed chairmanship when Obama decided to reappoint Bernanke in August of 2009. Smarting over the decision, Summers phoned Emanuel on his vacation for a discussion that led to increased presidential access. Among the pleas that Summers made: a seat at the table at cabinet meetings, a chauffeured car, and Secret Service protection, according to the officials “I would characterize them as requests, not demands,” said Emanuel, who declined to enumerate all the specific ones that Summers made. “He did want to be at the cabinet table,” he said. “If I’m not mistaken, that was granted.” Summers’s petition for a so-called “portal-to-portal” service wasn’t allowed. The White House’s supply of cars with drivers had already exceeded demand. [Bloomberg]

The CME Group has some unfortunate news: Your lack of trading last year has hit it pretty hard in the wallet. But fear not: The company has already come up with one money-saving cutback for this year.

First, the sad: CME’s earnings fell by almost 80% in the fourth quarter, although Q4 2011′s figure was half composed of a one-time tax benefit. But the exchange is not losing hope: Read more »

“Interview me.” Apparently his board also specifies that he’s looking for a gig in investment banking but, you know, beggars, choosers, etc. Will JD throw him a bone? I’d like to think so but I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

Update: Read more »

Generally, when the topic of Jamie Dimon comes up, vis-a-vis his nuts, and what people would like to do to them, the answers tend to veer toward “build a shrine to them,” “nuzzle them,” “gaze lovingly at them,” “have them rest on my chin,” “put them in my mouth” and “create a mold of them and rub for good luck.” Inflicting harm is almost never suggested, unless by a certain analyst who shows love via BDSM. Bucking that trend is a fellow named Sean Michael Carey. SMC wants Jamie hit where it hurts, on account of the fact that JD apparently owes him $142. “If you see him today punch him in the balls and say ‘Sean Michael Carey sends his regards, fucker’,” Carey wrote on the wall of the Facebook group he formed yesterday for the sole purpose of getting the message out. Carey adds that if you’re going to do this for him, please be advised: Read more »

  • 28 Jun 2010 at 12:05 PM

Who Wants To Give This Kid A Job?

Hey Dealbreaker!

While I don’t have a tip, I wish I did, and I think you guys can help me get on my way to getting one to help you out. I have a proposition I would like to relay to your readership: find Me a Job and I will give you my first week’s pay!

Read more »