Applying for a internship with one of Wall Street’s storied investment bank’s this summer? Think you’ve got a pretty good chance of landing the gig? Confident that you stack up to everyone else in the pool? Not if you’re going head to head with this guy, whose qualifications speak for themselves:
Would-Be Investment Banking Intern Destroys Competition With Exceptional Vision (20:15), Superior Handle Of EmotionsBy Bess Levin
Michael Penn has vowed to stay put until someone makes him an offer. Read more »
Perk Number One Of Scott Thompson’s New Gig Is Working For A Private Company Not Subject To Whims Of Activist Hedge Fund ManagersBy Bess Levin
The year 2012 has been an eventful and unpleasant one for Scott Thompson. In January he left his post as head of Ebay’s PayPal unit to become the new chief executive officer of Yahoo!. In May activist shareholders revealed that an entry on his résumé claiming that he had a bachelor’s degree in computer science was inaccurate. Less than two weeks later, Thompson was gone from Yahoo, undergoing treatments for thyroid cancer [he is cancer free now] and seemingly vanquished from the Silicon Valley scene. Now, the comeback: Thompson has signed on as CEO of ShopRunner, which is organizing a consortium of retailers to offer perks like free two-day shipping for online purchases. [Businessweek]
Missouri gubernatorial candidate David Spence was forced to make an embarrassing change to his biography after misrepresenting his credentials on a campaign website, according to reports. Spence fibbed by claiming to have “a degree in Economics” from the University of Missouri. That’s half the truth — he forgot to say that the degree is actually in “Home Economics.” [Politico via DI]
Downward Dog Position Is Key To Getting Ahead On Wall Street, Says Private Equity Guy Who Included “Some Bull Sh*t” About Yoga On His ResumeBy Bess Levin
When Jay Solomon was applying for jobs in finance last year, there was one thing on his resume that set him apart from the competition. It wasn’t his prior experience, or education or Excel skills. It wasn’t even his formatting and it definitely wasn’t his scented paper, which everyone uses these days. It was his ability to put his foot behind his head.
When Solomon, 25, was applying for jobs in real estate, there was one achievement on his CV that always got a response. “I put advanced yoga practitioner . . . just some bulls – - t at the bottom of the resume,” says Solomon. “All these guys were like, ‘Oh, I do yoga, come here, let me show you my yoga mat in the office,’ ” he recalls.
While neither Solomon nor the people interviewing him actually sound very Yogi master-like (“some bull shit”? “Let me show you my yoga mat”?), it was enough to not only get his foot in the door but land him a gig at “a private equity real estate fund in Harlem.” And that’s not all. Read more »
Hedge Fund Applicant Busts Out The Jazz Hands, Clip Art, Exclamation Points, Beginner Kayaking Skills For Shock And Awe RésuméBy Bess Levin
All should take notes. Read more »
I don’t know how many of you are currently looking for new jobs and suffering through the painful process of figuring out what to say in your cover letter but if I may offer a suggestion– take a page from one ambitious li’l college kid’s playabook. He knew he wanted to work at Goldman Sachs and rather than temper his deep burning desire he shouted it LOUD AND PROUD. He wants to live and bleed Goldman Sachs and he doesn’t care who knows it! He’s not afraid to say, “Lloyd I will lay down in the road for you. I will kill a man in cold blood for you. I will do whatever it takes to get in at Goldman Sachs– no questions asked– UNTIL MY HEART STOPS BEATING.” Even as he writes this letter he’s getting calls and text messages from people asking what stocks he puts his money in today and where they should put it tomorrow– he’s got the street cred and the seed capital to start his own shop over summer break but he’s not gonna cause he wants to do it for you Lloyd! For both of you.