scenarios

Choice number one: everyone starts earning more money for the bank, following an exhilarating pep rally run by Corbat in the cafeteria involving senior executives shooting Citi swag into the crowd out of tee-shirt guns, cheerleaders, and a Spartacus Workout demo with before/after shots of MC, meant to inspire people and show them what they’re capable of if they really put their minds to something. Choice number two: Bank of America-style layoffs. Read more »

George Soros is here to tell you a bedtime story about what happens to little boys and girls who don’t listen to every damn word he has to say! Read more »

  • 13 Jul 2011 at 3:50 PM

Layoffs Watch ’11: Morgan Stanley

Apparently the House of Morgan is mulling over what the firm would look like with a few thousand less employees. Read more »

  • 13 Aug 2010 at 3:15 PM

What’s Happening In This Bull/Bear Scene?

Above is a desk statue being hocked to employees of various investment banks, along other crap like deal toys, frames for your certifications, bookends and so on and so forth. While the person who brought it to our attention was of the opinion it was “too dirty” for the office, I think he might be jumping to conclusions on that one. Thing is, we don’t know exactly what message the artist was trying to get across here. Really it could be anything. It could be could be that the bull is going down on the bear,* or who knows, maybe the bull just lost his contact. Maybe this was meant to be the visual representation of the old saying “You can get a good sense of market pessimism by sticking your head up a bear’s ass.” Hard to say, really, so if you’ve got an idea as to what’s going on one way or another, do weigh in.

*And so what if it is? Since when is inter-species love not appropriate for the workplace?

Nothing’s been decided yet but they’re thinking things over at 200 West, lots and lots a things. Maybe they’ll spin the unit into its own hedge fund. Maybe they’ll move the prop team into the basement and keep them locked in there, like the third Olsen sister no one knows about. Eventually people will forget, until they’re discovered, years later, in a raid by the NYPD. Maybe they’ll do nothing (best place to hide is in plain sight). CNBC’s Kate Kelly reports: Read more »