Move over, white boys. Continue reading »
science
For all you billionaire money managers out there wondering, is there a life after being labeled a sex offender in the eyes of the law, Jeffrey Epstein is here to prove the answer is yes.
Epstein, he of the Underage Massage Appreciation Society, has been hard at work on a new project: a blog called Jeffrey Epstein’s Profiles In Science. It is here, for some reason, that Epstein conducts interviews with various leaders in the field, muses on evolutionary biology, offers tutorials on theoretical physics, and shares party pics of him barbecuing with Stephen Hawking. There’s also a “testimonials” page, where noted leaders are to offer praise for Epstein’s mind and while so far it only has a single entry, it’s unlikely to be topped. Continue reading »
Study: Credit Credit Crisis Was Caused By Bankers Who Got Off On “Painful But Exhilarating Losses”
By Bess Levin
Were you one of the bankers whose firms racked up billions in losses and brought the global economy to its knees just two years ago? Have you been happy to let people assume that it was merely a matter of greed– that you didn’t set out to lose the money, you just saw the potential dollar signs and couldn’t help yourself? Well your cover is blown. We all know the truth now– you wanted to lose, big time, because you’re sick, sick fucks.
In an article published in Angelaki: Journal of the Theoretical Humanities, Dr Crosthwaite says that the willingness of banks to deal in subprime loans and related derivatives, which were bound to result in disastrous losses, can only be understood if the bankers unconsciously desired the destruction of their own institutions. Dr Crosthwaite argues that such catastrophic losses can be sources of masochistic pleasure for those who experience them.
Sure, it felt nice to make it rain in the years prior but after a while taking home fat paychecks no longer did it for you. You needed something more intense to get the tingling sensation. To feel alive again. So you came up with stuff like the the Merrill Lynch Enhanced Testicle Clamp CDO^4 Fund, strapped it on and said asked– no, begged– the market to make you its bitch. Continue reading »
But not too much! As the people who felt it necessary to perform this study report, “Freeloading men aren’t the only troublemakers. Munsch’s work, which was presented at the American Sociological Association’s annual meeting on Monday, also found that men were more likely to cheat when they made a lot more than their partners.” [NPR via Daily Intel]
It’s just that its size helped prime your lady to get off. Continue reading »
Would you gladly accept all-stock bonuses if you didn’t have to worry about RBS debt not impressing your girl (would-be wife or favorite Flashdancer)? This guy says yes. He also posits that in this world sans ladies (or sans the ladies who care about the size of your package), you people probably wouldn’t have gone into your chosen professions at all, nor would you have stressed about things like learning to read.
This paper examines the extent to which human capital and career decisions are affected by their potential returns in the marriage market. Although schooling and career decisions often are made before getting married, these decisions are likely to affect the future chances of receiving a marriage offer, the type of offer, and the probability of getting divorced. Therefore, I estimate a forward‐looking model of the marriage and career decisions of young men between the ages of 16 and 39. The results show that if there were no returns to career choices in the marriage market, men would tend to work less, study less, and choose blue‐collar jobs over white‐collar jobs.
Most Men Would Be Complete Slackers if They Didn’t Have to Impress Women [Daily Intel]
Yesterday it was suggested that one of the reasons John Paulson was able to make the leap from run of the mill rich guy/peasant by hedge fund manager standards to John motherfucking Paulson! was that he “became a grump.” In earlier times, he was known for his loft parties in SoHo, and as he approached the trillion dollar pay-days, began to do things like ream employees out for overusing the printer, and reprimand people for eating junk food, according to Greg Zuckerman’s new book, The Greatest Trade Ever.* A recently published study from the University of New South Wales says that “negative moods trigger more attentive, careful thinking paying greater attention to the external world” so, perhaps there’s a connection between between JP making people pay to replace their own inkjet cartridges and figuring out that maybe subprime wasn’t the can’t lose asset class everyone thought it was cracked up to be.
Today, a Swedish study notes that “men who bottle up their anger at being unfairly treated at work are up to five times more likely to suffer a heart attack, or even die from one.” And if you think being the just go with the flow guy who “lets thing pass without saying anything” would save you, think again. That tactic will get you killed to. So here’s what I’m thinking.
- Use the Bloomberg command
NH BLG_DEALBREAKER <GO>
to access Dealbreaker
