Sheryl Weinstein

Bernie Madoff Was An Insatiable Whore: Prosecutors

One thing you might have imagined, in thinking about the decades-long, multi-billion dollar financial fraud perpetrated by Bernard Madoff, was that the operation demanded a lot of the Ponzi master’s time. Lotta man hours, lotta late nights. That he and his team worked ’round the clock to generate all those falsified accounting documents, coming in early, leaving late, and bringing work home. That most days, they didn’t have time for much else, be it surfing the internet, taking a long lunch, or having sex with each other from 6 until 7 in the morning, and then again from 1PM ’til market close. In fact, such was not the case! Read more »

Exhibit A: The insane ramblings of former Madoff mistress Sheryl Weinstein with regard to Bernie’s penis:

“This man was not well-endowed.”– August 18, 2009

“Bernie had a very small penis. Not only was it on the short side, it was small in circumference. That he was now pointing it out to me was telling. It clearly caused him great angst. I wanted to be careful how I responded. Men and their penises have a strange and unique relationship.” — August 19, 2009

“On the bright side,” she concluded, because of its size, “oral sex would be a breeze.” August 20, 2009

Madoff had a penis so small that “it would fit easily inside the opening of a single-serving honey jar” that sits on a hotel room service breakfast tray, Weinstein said. — August 24, 2009

Exhibit B: His slippers being auctioned off November 13 by the US Marshals:

Size 8.5

Put Yourself In Bernie Madoff’s Slippers [Daily Intel]

  • 21 Jun 2010 at 11:16 AM

There Are A Few Things That Trouble Bernie Madoff

A prison pal of Bernie Madoff’s was recently interviewed re: the Ponz Master. At one point, the inmate casually mentions that Berns hid about $9 billion to three “personal friends” before he turned himself in, but the unnamed source who must be credible spends the majority of the time drilling down to what’s going on up top, in that big ole dome piece of Madoff’s. Apparently, there are some things that upset him. The fact that his sons, Andy and Mark “You’re not our real father” Madoff haven’t spoken to him in almost two years isn’t one of them. I mean, sure, he wishes they did but it doesn’t plague him. He figures they’ll get over being mad at daddy soon enough. What does upset him are two slightly more serious issues. Read more »