Money Never Sleeps, which the lot of you had probably already cleared your schedules to see April 23, has had its premier postponed to September 24. It’s gonna be another 6 long, lonely months before we see those loafers on the big screen. On the bright side, rather than work the press circuit, ShiLa will be able to devote his time to the old online brokerage account, and to working on the LaBeouf Capital prospectus. [Variety via BI]
Oliver Stone has said it before and he’ll say it again: nobody was supposed to see Wall Street and think “Hey! I wanna do that, too.” And yet, for the last twenty odd years, you people and the people you work with have never failed to approach Stone or Michael Douglas when they’re out to dinner to tell them you went to work on the Street after being inspired by the 1987 flick, ruining their evenings. Idiots! You were supposed to see movie and say Gekko, bad. Prosecution of “values underpinning American capitalism,” good. See? Simple little equation. And yet. And yet. That all kind of went over your heads, didn’t it? If it makes you feel any better, you’re not alone. A much loved and sorely missed hedge fund manager didn’t get it either.
He didn’t do it all himself of course. Big ups to the ShiLa Capital Management team, handpicked by the thespian from their posts at the Encino Charles Schwab office, Citi and John Thomas Financial.
Related: Shia LaBeouf Knows What It Takes To Get Hired At Goldman Sachs
Hours shadowing BSD’s on the trading floor. Months riding the highs and crashing the lows of having an online brokerage account. Countless meetings with Goldman Sachs executives. It’s all come together. For this moment.
So I don’t normally feel the need to highlight the sections in my posts where I’m very clearly joking but since it seems that one in particular has been difficult for the naked eye to detect…
If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times. Rest assured that this coming April, when we finally get to see Shia LaBeouf in Money Never Sleeps, we can breathe easy knowing that this will not be the performance of some two-bit actor who knows nothing about Wall Street but a market moving BSD who’s sucked it all in and is currently deciding whether his next project will be a rom-com, running a Citadel spin-off Ken Griffin’s dying to land him for, or starting his own shop (potential investors: act quickly and he’ll trim his fees for the first $2bn in AUM with an 8-year lockup). Not only does the Level 1 CFA candidate have his own E*Trade account, read the Wall Street Journal every single day, trade on his cell phone, have Bloomberg on speed dial and “lots of friends in lots of places,” but he’s been briefed on what’s considered a dealbreaker when it comes to landing a coveted gig with Goldman Sachs. And now, he wants to share that wisdom with you.
So I was getting a haircut after lunch today (York Barbershop, 71st and Lex), and Oliver Stone & co. walked in to inspect the place. According to my barber, they’re shooting MNS there, presumably all day, on Tuesday and Wednesday of next week. However, I overheard murmurs that it might be too cramped, in which case the Waldorf barbershop would be a contender. No word on how this affects Shia’s helmet hair.