As you undoubtedly know by now, during the course of his preparation for Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps, Shia LaBeouf became a master trader. He worked with the guys at Encino Charles Schwab office, Citi and John Thomas Financial, he turned $20,000 into almost half a mill, he’s thisclose to becoming a Chartered Financial Analyst and he knows exactly what it takes to get hired at Goldman Sachs. He’s spoken of his pedigree many, many times, under the guise of promoting the movie all the while communicating to Wall Street that there’s a new Josh Birnbaum in town and so far, things have been coming together quite nicely. He has offers coming out the ass, he senses that Lloyd is just waiting for the right moment to can Viniar and offer him the gig and re: Shia LaBeouf Capital Management, all I’m going to say is that it’s been communicated from Stamford that the seed money is there for the taking. And up until this point, the plan has gone off without a hitch, because his co-star, Josh Brolin, has kept his trap shut. You see, kids, because he achieved none of the theatrical success young Shia did at an early age, brolin had to start day trading in order to pay the bills. He achieved a tiny modicum of success but nothing like LaB. Did he trade on his cell phone? No! Did he have Bloomberg on speed-dial? No! And yet this prick is now going around telling people how fucking great he is at making it rain. Read more »
- 28 Aug 2014 at 8:00 AM
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- Josh Brolin's Mouth-Running Threatening To Overshadow Shia LaBeouf's Wall Street Career May 17, 2010
- Swiss Bankers Suddenly Bashful About Listing "Sparkling Water," "Hooker For Client" On Expense Reports August 29, 2014
- Every Second Of Jefferies CEO's Ice Bucket Challenge Is Better Than The Last August 27, 2014
- Fake, Unregulated Currency Not Unregulated Enough For Some August 18, 2014
- Get Ready To Hear "I'll Have My Assistant Make A Reservation At Denny's" A Lot More Often August 29, 2014
- Horror In The Hamptons: Rosé Shortage Edition August 27, 2014
- Pay Hike Watch '14: Raises For Everyone (Under 25)! August 21, 2014
- Kyle Bass Not Entirely Thrilled With Paul Singer At The Moment August 28, 2014
- Steve Ballmer Offers Primer On How To Buy A Major League Sports Team August 26, 2014
- Write-Offs: 08.29.14 August 29, 2014
- Executive Editor
- Bess Levin
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