snacks

Raj Rajaratnam Was Done In By Multiple Moles

Less than two weeks ago, Raj Rajaratnam was sentenced to 11 years in prison, after being convicted on 14 counts of securities fraud and conspiracy last May. Over the course of the trial, Raj had remained silent, choosing not to take the stand on his own behalf and offering no sound bites to reporters outside the courthouse, speaking only when it was absolutely necessary (to request “extra mayo“) and allowing his lawyer, John Dowd, to do the talking (asking a Wall Street Journal reporter how long one could reasonably expect him to continue “sucking on [U.S. Attorney for the Southern District of New York Preet] Bahara’s teat,” declaring the guilty verdict a “23-14 victory” for the defense, and telling CNBC to “get the fuck out of here“). Recently, however, the former hedge fund manager decided to open up, allowing a reporter into his home where he pulled the curtain back on how this whole thing went down, starting with the state in which the Feds found him that fateful morning.

It was 6 a.m. on Oct. 16, 2009, and Raj Rajaratnam, head of the Galleon Group hedge fund, was at home on* his exercise bike looking out over Manhattan’s Turtle Bay.

Raj could have mentioned that he next moved on to shirtless arm curls and was on 1,003 at the exact moment Bhara and his crew busted into the apartment but felt like bragging. For posterity’s sake, though, it should be noted that he did over 1,000.

Moving on.

What he was actually doing at tipster Rajiv Goel’s home all those times, contrary to what the press and the government would have you believe?

…the prosecution noted that Rajaratnam would visit Goel’s house in Silicon Valley, presumably to talk about Intel. But the real explanation is more human. “His wife makes really good chaat [a savory snack]!”

Okay, that’s believable, but what about the material non-public information he got elsewhere? Read more »

  • 05 Oct 2011 at 11:32 AM

Vending Machine Challenge Underway


All 41 items must be completed by 4PM, with an official start time of 11:15AM. Said items include: Cheese Puffs, Snyder Low Fat Pretzels, Goldfish, Doritos, White Cheddar Popcorn, Snyder Regular Pretzels, Snyder Low Fat Pretzels, party mix, Fritos, Baked Lays, Baked Doritos, Lays, Sun Chips, Express Oatmeal, canned fruit, Sour Straws, Reeses, Fiber One Bar, M&Ms, Peanut M&Ms, Goobers, Fiber One Snack, Twizzlers, Snickers Crunch, Twix, Milky Way, Pretzels M&Ms, Snickers Crunch, Skittles, Starburst, peanuts, Raisinets, trail mix, strudel, more trail mix, crackers, sandwich crème cookies and Milanos.

The challenger, whose colleagues at an unnamed Connecticut firm note “is in a motorcycle club- enough said” (??), is apparently so confident that rather than eat a light dinner and get some rest last night, he mowed down a tray of tacos and got little sleep. If he finishes everything by the close and keeps it down for two hours he wins nothing, i.e. “respect.” For those who feel the extremely generous time allotment renders this contest not so much a challenge but a snack, channel your feelings of disgust towards stepping up to the plate with something better.

11:21 Guy has finished Cheese Doodles, Snyder Low Fat Pretzels, Goldfish, Doritos, White Cheddar Popcorn, Snyder Thin Pretzels, and second bag of SLFP’s. Read more »

Only if your flight is under four hours, if you leave the office past ten, and if you’re working and hungry before 9PM but still- this hurts.

To: IBD EMEA
From: Richard Blackburn and Chris Winchenbaugh
Cc: IBD ExCo, IBD COO’s, Talent Management
Date: 3 October 2011
Subject: 4th Quarter Savings Initiatives

We have done a great job this year driving our business forward and delivering on revenue and market share. Importantly, our division has been vigilant on costs and we have been able to manage our overall cost structure aggressively. However, as you are all aware, we continue to operate in a difficult environment, and we have more to do on cost savings.

Read more »

  • 29 Jun 2010 at 1:39 PM

Crisis At Morgan Stanley: No Good Snacks All Morning

From: Morgan Stanley
Sent: Tuesday, June 29, 2010 11:11 AM
To: Employees
Subject: Crisis Management Update – Low Water Pressure in Westchester Office

Read more »

  • 22 Dec 2009 at 12:00 PM

Does Goldman Sachs’ Coffee Taste Like Ass?

Maybe! And it wouldn’t be the first time Lloyd and Co. tried to break morale via unconscionable snack and beverage conditions.

According to a mole, Goldman apparently stocks the cheapest, worst generic coffee imaginable in its staff kitchens – despite protests from the caffeine-deficient. “It’s beyond horrible,” explained our source. “You work a lot of hours so you have to go down to the cafeteria and spend money on Starbucks or Dunkin’ Donuts.”

The Goldman Sachs Coffee Conspiracy [Gawker]