• Source: Bloomberg: obvs.


    Greece Sells Low, Buys High

    Here is a thing that might be worth considering about this here Greek bond buyback: That’s the entire history of the shortest-dated of bonds targeted for a buyback at, you might notice, their all-time high price.1 Various people have various reactions to this but one reaction that no one can have is of the variety […]

    / Dec 3, 2012 at 3:44 PM
  • Google Spreadsheets is less fun than Excel for charting, but on the plus side your charts come out looking like you work at Google


    How Much Did The Government Make On AIG, Anyway?

    AIG priced a giant stock offering last night at $32.50, making the government rich. A really really simple question you could ask about AIG is “how’s the government doing?” and I Googled around for the answer yesterday and got increasingly frustrated, then angry, then drunk. Why can’t someone tell me that? The answer has to […]

    / Sep 11, 2012 at 11:34 AM
  • Found it!


    Let’s Spot A High Yield Bubble!

    The Times and the Journal today are pretty excited by the new high yield bubble and I guess? What is the deal with high-yield yields being not as high as high-yield yields have been in the past, yield-wise? The answer may be giddiness:* “In a yield-starved world, high-yield bonds are right now the only game […]

    / Aug 16, 2012 at 3:32 PM
  • News

    Financial Services Employee’s Excel Spreadsheet Of Dating Prospects Allows For 18 Year-Olds, Has No Room For “Jappy” Girls

    Have you ever wanted to bring the same methodical organization and analytical rigor to your dating life that you bring to your work product? Did you think to yourself, “Excel, of course,” and proceed to create a spreadsheet that included not simply the names, phone numbers, and photos of the people you were either in the early stages of or attempting to date but the last time you “communicated,” the last time (if ever) you saw each other, and your initial thoughts on said person? A document that did not allow you to input a number in the “age” column but choose one from a drop-down list (18-30), just as it constrained you from entering a value of less than 7.0 in the “appearance” field, lest you attempt to veer off course with someone underage, old, or not up to an acceptable level of hotness? Did you tell a person included in said document about its existence and did you proceed to send it to her? At least one financial services professional feels you.

    From: [redacted]
    Date: Sat, Apr 7, 2012 at 12:16 AM
    Subject: spreadsheet…

    Well…this could be a mistake, but what the hell. I thought about deleting the names, but figured I might as will give you the whole thing. I only deleted the non-match people’s names (at the bottom) since some I’ve known for a long time. I hope this e-mail doesn’t backfire, because I really had a great time and hope to hang again soon :). However, I will keep my word! Have a great weekend!

    Prospects Spreadsheet [PDF]

    / Apr 16, 2012 at 5:26 PM
  • News

    15 Year Old Excel Champ Thinks It’s Cute You Can Data Sort Multiple Columns

    Rebecca Rickwood is a 15 year-old girl living in the UK whose name should make you quake in fear. What about a 15 year-old girl could you possibly have to be afraid of? How about the fact that she could whip up a spreadsheet in the time it takes you to fill out your first […]

    / Aug 4, 2011 at 4:11 PM
  • News

    Ex-Hedge Fund Manager Forced To Sell Beloved Teddy Bear Collection

    Paul Greenwood is a hedge fund manager who is probably going to go to jail for defrauding clients in a Ponzi scheme, which he pleaded guilty to a few weeks back. For that he does not deserve your sympathy or pity. What he did was wrong. But he’s also a man who today is having […]

    / Oct 5, 2010 at 11:45 AM
  • News

    Former JPMorgan Analyst Valentina Savelyeva Wants To Whip Your Piss-Poor Spreadsheets Into Shape

    Training the Street will teach anyone willing to fork over the $6,000 tuition for a five-day “core skills” workshop. But most of the firm’s classes in financial accounting, corporate valuation, and merger/buyout analysis are packed with new hires from firms like Goldman Sachs, Morgan Stanley, Citigroup, and Deutsche Bank. Every year, more than 20,000 young […]

    / Sep 23, 2010 at 3:16 PM
  • News

    Former Deutsche Bank Trader Greg Lippmann Has A Few Things He’d Like To Get Off His Chest

    First off, Greg doesn’t want to be famous and he says he’s “looking forward to being anonymous again.” The be-sideburned trader (in Greg Zuckerman’s The Greatest Trade Ever his ‘burns are described as “unusually long and thick” and in Michael Lewis’s The Big Short as those of a “1970s porn star”) announced this desire in […]

    / Sep 8, 2010 at 10:38 AM
  • News

    Ponzi Schemer Kept Prized Bear Collection In Perfect Order

    Remember Paul Greenwood? He didn’t get as much press as some other managers running Ponzi schemes last year, but we always liked the guy, because let his freak flag fly. He wasn’t afraid to say, yes, I have an $80,000 collectible Teddy Bear, what of it, unlike some other frauds we can think of, who […]

    / Jan 14, 2010 at 2:45 PM

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