Here’s what the Don said last night on CNN’s “Piers Morgan Tonight” when asked about mingling with sauced up members of the business community:
“There’s a banker — and obviously I’m not going to mention names…I’ll never forget a very respected banker, highly respected. And he was making a speech at the Waldorf Astoria. And he was very tipsy, very — and shortly thereafter, he was just totally stone cold drunk. There were probably 2,000 people, 1,500 people at this dinner. It was a very big event. And we carried him out on his back. We carried him out literally on his back and — And I never felt the same way about him.
Trump went on to say he can’t even look at the guy anymore and that he’s “lost all respect” for him. Choking back tears**, Trump wouldn’t say who his fallen hero is or if he had to hold the guy’s hair back as he vomited on the street corner but he did offer one more clue. Continue reading »
Having no idea whether or not these two are innocent just gonna go to bat for them now saying the SEC should back the fuck off. These guys are alright, as is anyone who considers hiring Stan O’Neal for the laughs. Continue reading »
A lot of people are of the mind that many of the decisions made by Stan O’Neal were responsible for the fall of Merrill Lynch. Decisions such as the ones to fire very senior, long-time employees once he was named CEO, take on a massive amount of risk, perhaps more than was, let’s just call it “prudent,” in the name of profit, etc, etc, etc. The fact that he increased ML’s investments in CDOs from around $1 billion to around $40 billion (-ish) in about 18 months or so, which caused the bank to writedown $8 billion (give or take a few mill) in October 2007, and book its largest quarterly loss ever ($2.24 billion) are things such people cite when they make this argument. But here’s another theory, which is being tested out this morning. Tell me what you think of it: None of this was Stan O’Neal’s fault.
Now, before you jump down my throat, hear me out. This lesser known interpretation of facts comes from someone extremely familiar with the firm, and events that transpired during the O’Neal era. Someone who could tell us, definitively, if we’ve been wrong all along about the former CEO. Obviously, I’m talking about Stan O’Neal. Continue reading »
The thing about being part of an elite group of fuck-up bank CEO’s who got fired before the shit really got bad is that it used to mean something. First, that even though you got canned, you still walked away with enough coin* that you’d never have to worry about money, and, more to the point, about being reduced to rubbing shoulders with peasants. Second, that you didn’t have anyone to answer to! Whereas as a certain Cherubic-looking Jew has to make sure he’s not upsetting anyone by flying private, and even guys like Dick Fuld still have to sort of walk on egg-shells, you who got axed eons ago should be able to do what you want, when you want. No apologies. So this is disturbing, to say the least:
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For “Capitalism Meets Populism” drama you can hardly beat the extraordinary shareholder meeting. And when it is an “end of an era” meeting, sounding the funeral bells of a venerable company with near triple digit age counters, the extremes on both ends turn out. So it was with Merrill’s “final meeting” today.
Bank of America shareholders voiced their approval in Charlotte in what was likely a less dramatic event, and, equally likely, the die had already been cast before the Merrill meeting today, as most shareholders had already submitted ballots.
Of course, you had to know that the event would be used to sharpen disemboweling cutlasses with Stanley O’Neal’s name on them, and perhaps the tongue of shareholder meeting frequent flier Evelyn “Where Is The Accountability, Sonny?” Davis.
For those not in the know, the Dutch Holocaust survivor has sounded the populist shareholder call for four decades, taunting tall-standing, dais mounted CEOs from her 5’1″ frame with a thick accent and thicker calls for accountability. Her usual antics absent this time. No hospital scrubs or bathing suits for this meeting. But there wasn’t much to say this time either. A widow’s black and veil might have suited well, in place of Chanel suit. As if to highlight the powerlessness of those present even more, this time Evelyn was quickly shushed by Thain while trying with her usual spunk to interrupt the keynote. “Now Evelyn, you have to give other people time to speak.” This silenced her. And that in itself is frightening.
There isn’t a CEO alive who can shush Evelyn Davis, but the power that silenced the Dutch Duchess of Ruckus wasn’t intrinsic to Thain. Rather it was channeled from the circumstances though the otherwise hollow, if expensive, suit. The untimely death of Merrill was fait accompli and more potent than any of the attendees.
No, today wasn’t for the Evelyn’s, whose utility shines when there is actually something in the balance. Today was for the anonymous shareholder’s testy, if pointless, recriminations. “We only need one pallbearer for this funeral, and that’s Stan O’Neal,” was one such. He won’t be voting for the merger under any circumstances, you understand.
A reader breathlessly informs us that he just spotted former Merrill CEO Stan O’Neal on the corner of 55th and Park, “working it,” presumably not in the call-girl sense though one never knows (especially with the high-class hookerss, who just look like well-dressed civilians). “He had his jacket slung over his shoulder, with his finger through the loop, looking pretty slick and talking on his cell. Guess the firing agreed with him.”
Round of applause for John Thain and the enormous restraint he demonstrated in the five months since taking over Merrill Lynch. He could’ve changed the letterhead, shaved his head and asked people to call him LB from Day One, but he resisted, pandered to the “culture of Mother Merrill,” and even ingratiated himself to the team with a few slipups reminiscent of their former CEO, just to make everyone feel at home. Ultimately, though, the temptation to make the firm “not so much Merrill as Goldman” proved too strong. He would’ve had to have the strength of a pro-wrestler/master beekeeper to hold out much longer, and as you well know, Thain is merely a former high school wrestler, and though very passionate about honey, amateur beekeeper at best. So the statement from MER today that JT has hired former GS colleague Thomas Montag to head trading worldwide should come not come as a shock, nor should the whispers (in our head) that he’s rallying hard to bring in erstwhile Goldman Sachs CEO Jon Corzine in some sort of capacity. Though, according to the rumors, the would be hire has less to do with turning Merrill into Goldman than Thain attempting to assuage his guilt about ousting his mentor back in the day, and also to bring Wall Street’s greatest bear hugs back into his life, via payroll. Additionally, DealBreaker has obtained an internal memo sent out to senior management this morning entitled “Drop Everything: Things We Must Do to Become More like Goldman”
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I legitimately have nothing to say today. No matter; excelsior is my motto. Something is going on, pertaining to balls—you’re all getting shorn after closing bell. No more curly Qs on our watch. Kidding. I think. The Times reports that less of you are playing golf. Something about the game being too time consuming. Balderdash. How do you expect to ever become the CEO of some bank and lose the place billions and billions of dollars without golf? Jacking off on the job playing Text Twist ain’t going to do it. Nor will building towers of cards. So…get on out there a-sap. It’s a slippery slope and whatnot. (If you’re worried about missing my next post because you can’t bring electronics on the green, I’ll give you a preview of what’s to come: Rachael Ray hand-job tutorial.)
More Americans Are Giving Up Golf [NYT]
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There are gray storm clouds hanging over Wall Street this February but Merrill Lynch’s Greg Fleming appears to be weathering the storm. The Securities and Exchange Commission has initiated a formal investigation into whether the brokerage knew more than it revealed to shareholders about the value of its subprime investments prior to announcing the giant write-downs with its third-quarter results. Federal prosecutors have opened a preliminary investigation, leading to speculation that criminal charges could possibly brought against some Merrill executives. But sources at Merrill Lynch say Fleming, who continues in his role as president of the bank after the losses forced the departures of a co-president and the chief executive, was not involved in the businesses reportedly being scrutinized and they do not expect him to be a subject of the investigation.
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