Have the past several years wreaked havoc on your looks? Do you wake up with new wrinkles every day? Is your face starting to look like an old catcher’s mitt? Do you stare into the mirror and wonder who the old, haggard looking man staring back is? Does it look like a bag lady has taken up residence under your eyes? Do you have trouble concentrating at work because you’re constantly wondering if people are discussing how badly you’ve let yourself go? Do you catch a glimmer of your reflection and think, “Why would anyone want to fuck me? I’m hideous.” Are you generally disgusted with yourself? Do you want to do something about it, something involving a doctor’s office and needles, but are afraid of what people might think? Don’t be! According to Bloomberg lots of guys are taking 20 to “refresh” themselves and in fact, financial services employees represent “the fastest growing segment” of Dr. Dendy Engelman’s “patient population.” Everybody does it, it’s just that no one talks about it. Read more »

  • 15 Jul 2011 at 2:21 PM

Career Advice: Consider Ops

Having an entire month on Wall Street under their belts, summer analysts are probably at this point fending off a lot of pitches from a lot powerful people on the opportunities in corr trading or FIG M&A. And considering for most of their lives they’ve dreamed of being a hitter, and a little hard work isn’t going to deter them from taking the most high-profile job they can get, it all sounds pretty enticing. Before anyone makes any serious decisions, however, they might want to hear out a few monkeys, who think they might be making a mistake.

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  • 21 Jun 2010 at 11:16 AM

There Are A Few Things That Trouble Bernie Madoff

A prison pal of Bernie Madoff’s was recently interviewed re: the Ponz Master. At one point, the inmate casually mentions that Berns hid about $9 billion to three “personal friends” before he turned himself in, but the unnamed source who must be credible spends the majority of the time drilling down to what’s going on up top, in that big ole dome piece of Madoff’s. Apparently, there are some things that upset him. The fact that his sons, Andy and Mark “You’re not our real father” Madoff haven’t spoken to him in almost two years isn’t one of them. I mean, sure, he wishes they did but it doesn’t plague him. He figures they’ll get over being mad at daddy soon enough. What does upset him are two slightly more serious issues. Read more »

  • 09 Oct 2009 at 11:00 AM

French Submit To Power Of The Internet

The AP reports that due an upswing in suicides in France, Labor Minister Xavier Darcos has ordered all companies with over 1,000 employees to develop “anti-stress plans” to deal with pressure in the workplace. Those who fail to to so? Will have their names placed on “a list of shame to be published on the Internet.

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  • 04 May 2009 at 11:42 AM

Wells Fargo Relegated To Bank of America, Citi Status

Regulators are asking Wells Fargo & Co. to raise more capital after government “stress tests” showed the bank would have trouble surviving if the recession worsens.
San Francisco-based Wells Fargo is trying to dissuade regulators from forcing it to raise capital, these people say. The government will brief banks Tuesday on its final decisions about their appeals.

Oracle of O’s rebuttal forthcoming once he emerges from the Jacuzzi.

Wells Fargo Asked To Raise Money After Stress Test