Strippers

  • 25 Nov 2013 at 3:50 PM

Someone Still Loves Steve Cohen

His employees are heading for the door. His #1 Fan is nowhere to be found. His sales rep at Patagonia lost his number. But the brothers of the University of Pennsylvania chapter of Zeta Beta Tau have his back, and that’s gotta count for something. Read more »

Time was, entertaining a client on Wall Street was a relatively straightforward affair. Invite them to dinner at a steakhouse, maybe hit up some kind of sporting event, round out the night at a strip club. It was a simpler time, of simpler tastes. In the last number of years, though, things have changed. Most people would prefer to hit up a spinning class rather than spend upwards of 5 or 6 hours in the presence of some insufferable sales guy, and when they do want to involve scantily-clad entertainment? Candy on Stage 5 no longer cuts it. Read more »

He actually made seven of them, to be exact, and while we can’t say for sure he regrets them all (some evidence suggests he might be the type of person who’d say dating a couple strippers simultaneously was “worth it”), it’s possible he regrets *some* and certainly regrets their cumulative impact. They include:

  • Getting involved with a jealous stripper.
  • Getting involved with another jealous stripper.
  • Introducing both strippers to his daughter in violation of a court order that barred him* from doing so.
  • Taking “compromising” photos with Stripper 1.
  • Letting Stripper 1 find out about Stripper 2.
  • Letting his ex-wife find out about both of them.
  • Not paying his legal bills.

Read more »

Though they’ve got three more months to turn things around, 2011 is on track to be a year most hedge fund managers would like to forget, performance-wise. John Paulson can’t catch a break, Whitney Tilson is having PTSD flashbacks to 2008 and even among those making money, the gains are a measly 3 or 4 percent a month. One investor who stands out from the crowd? Marx NY Capital founder Niki M. Three years ago Niki was a stripper, first at Sapphire New York, then at HQ Gentleman’s Club, using the gig as “a way to advance her financial career,” and now? She’s running her own show and scoring triple digit returns so far this year, according to the latest letter to investors posted on her Facebook page. Read more »

  • 19 Sep 2011 at 4:00 PM
  • Balls

What Wall Street Wives Can Learn From Diane Passage

Think you don’t need to perform your own quarterly audits of your husband’s business to check for any discrepancies? Think again. Choose not to take regular looks at your meal ticket’s book and you could go from dining on the finest shellfish money can buy (“Some of those black-tie events were so fucking boring. We went to one at Blackstone? Their holiday party? I was like, I can’t believe I spent so much time getting ready for this”), chairing charities (that include pole-dancing fundraisers), residing in a $7.5 million townhouse on the Upper East Side (screening room and pool, natch), receiving all the trinkets you could ever desire (“She got whatever she wanted: diamonds—at least a quarter-million dollars’ worth, according to the U.S. Attorney’s office—designer clothes, even a new pair of boobs”) living, blissfully, prenuptial agreement free, and thinking you’d never have to go back to working the late shift at Scores… Read more »

“This is really asking for a second opinion.” Read more »

Not okay?

Jack Rappaport is a business professor at Lasalle University. Last month he gave students an opportunity to earn extra credit by taking a “symposium” on business ethics, for which he charged attendees $150. Their admission fee apparently went toward the hiring of three strippers, if you can even call them that, according to some attendees who were not impressed. “They were just dancing around the room,” said junior Louis Halegoua. “I mean, they had clothes on and stuff.” One, however, was apparently was doing a special kind of dance.

“I don’t know, just kind of laying on top of him. Not laying on top of him but straddling him. It was like a lap dance you could say,” said sophomore Brad Bernardino.

It was during the “like a lap dance” portion of the class that the business school’s dean happened to walk by the room and threw a wrench in the professor’s plans. Read more »