Though they’ve got three more months to turn things around, 2011 is on track to be a year most hedge fund managers would like to forget, performance-wise. John Paulson can’t catch a break, Whitney Tilson is having PTSD flashbacks to 2008 and even among those making money, the gains are a measly 3 or 4 percent a month. One investor who stands out from the crowd? Marx NY Capital founder Niki M. Three years ago Niki was a stripper, first at Sapphire New York, then at HQ Gentleman’s Club, using the gig as “a way to advance her financial career,” and now? She’s running her own show and scoring triple digit returns so far this year, according to the latest letter to investors posted on her Facebook page. Continue reading »
Strippers
Think you don’t need to perform your own quarterly audits of your husband’s business to check for any discrepancies? Think again. Choose not to take regular looks at your meal ticket’s book and you could go from dining on the finest shellfish money can buy (“Some of those black-tie events were so fucking boring. We went to one at Blackstone? Their holiday party? I was like, I can’t believe I spent so much time getting ready for this”), chairing charities (that include pole-dancing fundraisers), residing in a $7.5 million townhouse on the Upper East Side (screening room and pool, natch), receiving all the trinkets you could ever desire (“She got whatever she wanted: diamonds—at least a quarter-million dollars’ worth, according to the U.S. Attorney’s office—designer clothes, even a new pair of boobs”) living, blissfully, prenuptial agreement free, and thinking you’d never have to go back to working the late shift at Scores… Continue reading »
This Is A Conversation Among Credit Suisse Employees Debating Loaning A Stripper $1 Million
By Bess Levin“This is really asking for a second opinion.” Continue reading »
As you may have heard, a Manhattan judge sentenced Kenneth Starr to 7.5 years in prison yesterday, for his $33 million scam that took money out of the hands of Uma Thurman, Al Pacino and Carly Simon, among others. Starr told the court that he “can’t believe what he did,” saying that he “lost” his moral compass. US District Court Judge Shira Scheindlin agreed, and went so far as to pinpoint the moment Starr lost his compass– the second he laid his eyes on the assets pictured at left. Continue reading »
They just got a late start. Evidence of their hard work after the jump and yes, it’s most certainly NOT SAFE FOR WORK, unless you work at a firm where looking at women sans tops is cool.
**Shoveling snow, posing with shovels, same diff no diff. Continue reading »
FINRA Actually Pretty Understanding When It Comes To Brokers Ripping Off The Elderly In Order To Pay For Strippers
By Bess LevinThis is just an FYI for anyone doing some risk/reward analysis re: whether or not freeing up the funds to buy unlimited lap dances by screwing clients is worth it– much to the chagrin of one Bloomberg columnist, you’re really just looking at a relative slap on the wrist. Continue reading »
Hedge Fund Managers Shorting For-Profit Schools Have New Ally In Stripper Carrianne Howard
By Bess Levin
Last Friday, Bloomberg printed a hilarious story about a girl named Carrianne Howard, who’s fallen on hard time. Currently, Howard works at a topless bar called Lido Cabaret in Cocoa Beach, Florida. But, wait, that’s not the funny part. What made the story a laugh riot was that the reporter/editor made the hugely tenuous (at best!) link that Howard’s travails– her parents had spent $70,000 for her to earn a bachelor’s degree in game and art design from the Art Institute of Fort Lauderdale, which helped her score an entry level job in her industry of choice after graduating in December 2007, from which she was later laid off and had to turn to showing her tits for money– were the fault of Goldman Sachs, as the bank owns 38 percent of the Art Institute’s parent, Education Management Corp. Over the weekend, Carrianne took to YouTube to respond, clarifying the facts. Continue reading »
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