John Chrin, a former managing director at J.P. Morgan Chase & Co. who left the firm in June 2009 to pursue an executive-in-residence position at Lehigh University, recalls seeing junior staff gain 30 or 40 pounds within a couple years on the job. When he worked at Merrill Lynch & Co., now a unit of Bank of America Corp., he recalls that one managing director ordered a chauffeur to turn on the air conditioning even though it was out of order, causing the car to burst into flames. The managing director then threatened to have the driver fired. Bank of America declined to comment…Alexandra Michel, an assistant management professor at USC’s Marshall School of Business, shadowed the bankers at the office—sitting next to them, following them to meetings, mirroring their hours and even pulling all-nighters—for more than 100 hours a week during the first year, about 80 hours a week during the second year, and then followed up with in-person interviews. One mild-mannered banking associate spoke about exploding in rage at a cab driver after unsuccessfully attempting to open a locked door from the outside: “I became so furious that I kept banging against the windows like crazy, swearing at the poor guy. And then I turned around and saw that a managing director was watching with his mouth open. I was so ashamed.” [WSJ]
studies
Someone hit F9 on the random number generator that decides how much capital European banks need and now it’s $115 billion, which I guess is more than it used to be, so that’s a thing. As you might imagine this is a problem because who in their right mind would buy equity of a European bank? Or, in diplomatic terms:
One analyst questioned [Commerzbank’s] ability to make up the deficit through shrinkage or other means. “It certainly seems hard for them to come back with another equity raise from the market, so if all else fails it looks like the government is the answer.”
But the bank insisted this was not part of its plan. Eric Strutz, finance director, said: “We stand by our intention not to make use of additional public funds.”
So that’s nice. But if you’d rather look at it in world-historical-demographic terms, it turns out you can. Because this little consulting outfit called McKinsey occasionally sends out musings to its friends and supporters, and today they’ve got a mammoth, slightly odd financial markets study, which the Journal has written about, concluding that nobody will buy stock anymore, especially from Commerzbank (though I may have just made that part up).
Are you a strip club owner whose city doesn’t appreciate the performing arts you’re bringing to the community? A guy whose spouse is unconvinced that spending several hours watching topless women dance is just as if not more culturally enriching as taking in Swan Lake? A first-year analyst who’s about to get canned if you can’t explain to HR why you’ve started to take meetings at/had your calls forwarded to the Hustler Club? Judith Hanna’s got your back. Continue reading »
Gang, something big has come up this morning and we need to discuss it right now. Don’t want to scare anyone but also don’t want to minimize the enormity of this news so let’s just get right to it. Wall Street has been keeping a secret. Look around at your colleagues this morning. The ones who attended schools like Yale, Princeton and Harvard and played sports like lacrosse and squash and use the word ‘summer’ as a verb and describe the color red as Nantucket red and argue the HJs don’t count if you give them to a guy whose named ends in IV and get aroused at the mere thought of an ACK sticker? They might have had an easier time breaking into the industry than those who graduated from lower ranked universities and did not get their WASP on. Yes, really.
After you’ve picked your jaws up off the floor, you’re presumably going to want to fight us on this and shout “It can’t be!” and “You lie!” Sorry to say it, pumpkins, it’s the truth. But don’t take our word for it- someone actually did a study on the shocking phenomenon. Continue reading »
Move over, white boys. Continue reading »
Is there a particular co-worker you’ve been thinking would enjoy a few minutes with you on top of your desk or in the men’s room stall but were skittish about the idea of a) approaching them and b) having sex at work? Great news! According to FINS, lots of people are banging in a room just off the trading floor as we speak and they’ve got hard numbers to back it up. Use this information to make your case when offering the object of your desire two free passes to [Your Name]-ville. Continue reading »
The Times has something huge on you know who. Continue reading »
