studies

  • 26 Oct 2010 at 11:05 AM

Study: Credit Credit Crisis Was Caused By Bankers Who Got Off On “Painful But Exhilarating Losses”

By

Were you one of the bankers whose firms racked up billions in losses and brought the global economy to its knees just two years ago? Have you been happy to let people assume that it was merely a matter of greed– that you didn’t set out to lose the money, you just saw the potential dollar signs and couldn’t help yourself? Well your cover is blown. We all know the truth now– you wanted to lose, big time, because you’re sick, sick fucks.

In an article published in Angelaki: Journal of the Theoretical Humanities, Dr Crosthwaite says that the willingness of banks to deal in subprime loans and related derivatives, which were bound to result in disastrous losses, can only be understood if the bankers unconsciously desired the destruction of their own institutions. Dr Crosthwaite argues that such catastrophic losses can be sources of masochistic pleasure for those who experience them.

Sure, it felt nice to make it rain in the years prior but after a while taking home fat paychecks no longer did it for you. You needed something more intense to get the tingling sensation. To feel alive again. So you came up with stuff like the the Merrill Lynch Enhanced Testicle Clamp CDO^4 Fund, strapped it on and said asked– no, begged– the market to make you its bitch. Continue reading »

  • 16 Aug 2010 at 4:20 PM

Freeloading Husbands More Likely To Cheat On Wives Than Men Who Make Money

By

But not too much! As the people who felt it necessary to perform this study report, “Freeloading men aren’t the only troublemakers. Munsch’s work, which was presented at the American Sociological Association’s annual meeting on Monday, also found that men were more likely to cheat when they made a lot more than their partners.” [NPR via Daily Intel]

  • 09 Aug 2010 at 4:00 PM

News You Can Use

By

“Stuff CEOs with cash and bring back the corporate jets and country club memberships. That’s the message of new research coming out of Columbia Business School. The study measured the likelihood of default in 117 banks and other financial institutions from 1998 to 2008. Turns out, the companies that paid executives in shares and stock options were more likely to go bust than those that simply doled out bonuses in cash.” [FINS]

  • 25 May 2010 at 12:19 PM

Does Tim Geithner Have Particularly Good Hair?

By

Personally I never gave it much thought, though having been confronted by the question and taking the last five minutes to scrutinize TG’s mane, I’d have to say no, I don’t think he does. It’s not bad hair but if we’re being forced to judge, here goes: thickness (one of the most important factors) seems to be average and it looks kind of dry and damaged. Certainly nothing that screams “run your fingers through me.” Admittedly, though, we haven’t examined it up close and one person who has claims it’s something to write home about, and even a source of envy. Continue reading »

  • 11 Feb 2010 at 11:45 AM

Are Chicks The Only Reason Anyone Cares About Bonuses?

By

Picture 132.pngWould you gladly accept all-stock bonuses if you didn’t have to worry about RBS debt not impressing your girl (would-be wife or favorite Flashdancer)? This guy says yes. He also posits that in this world sans ladies (or sans the ladies who care about the size of your package), you people probably wouldn’t have gone into your chosen professions at all, nor would you have stressed about things like learning to read.

This paper examines the extent to which human capital and career decisions are affected by their potential returns in the marriage market. Although schooling and career decisions often are made before getting married, these decisions are likely to affect the future chances of receiving a marriage offer, the type of offer, and the probability of getting divorced. Therefore, I estimate a forward‐looking model of the marriage and career decisions of young men between the ages of 16 and 39. The results show that if there were no returns to career choices in the marriage market, men would tend to work less, study less, and choose blue‐collar jobs over white‐collar jobs.

Most Men Would Be Complete Slackers if They Didn’t Have to Impress Women [Daily Intel]

  • 02 Sep 2008 at 12:15 PM

What’s RIGHT With You?

By

We gave you guys some shit for possibly being afflicted with Asperger syndrome, which, as previously stated, there is NOTHING wrong with having. It was merely an observation on our parts that many of you are socially awkward, often fail to demonstrate empathy for your peers, and are prone to restricted patterns of behavior such as hitting the submit button over and over and over again when trying to comment, and that the confluence of those symptoms might lead to a professional diagnosis of the A. But we’ve *also* noticed occasionally flashes of insight around these parts and, very occasionally, brilliance. One might even make the claim that some of you could qualify for MENSA membership. Or could you? Take this quiz and post your results. Knowing the lot of you, we’re going to put the over/under at 5 and take the under. Again, it would be helpful and add a little more color to the situation if you also told us where you’re employed but no pressure on that end.
MENSA_TEST1.xls [Excel]
Earlier: What’s Wrong With You

  • 01 Aug 2008 at 10:43 AM

What’s Wrong With You?

By

I’m sure it doesn’t come as a shock for me to point out that many of you are socially awkward, often fail to demonstrate empathy for your peers, and are prone to restricted patterns of behavior such as hitting the submit button over and over and over again when trying to comment.* Which is to say, you likely all have a mild to major form of Asperger syndrome. Or do you? Take this quiz and post your results. It would be helpful and add a little more color to the situation if you also told us where you’re employed but no pressure on that end (I’ll just find out by checking your IP. Kidding?).
*Not a criticism, personally, I like it when you do this.