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Money talks, bull shit walks.
Running Citi for the last two and half years has been, let’s just call it, something of a thankless job for Vikram Pandit. He’s been cut down by fellow CEO’s, on several occasions one analyst in particular has left him bound and gagged on the floor of his office, and the board shit all over his horticulture ideas. Plus, there’s been the matter of the US government coming in and thinking it’s running the place. All in all, Uncle V’s tenure has been no picnic, especially considering the fact that 1) this was not the gig he signed up for (that one being $1 billion to sit around and tell Zoe Cruz jokes) and 2) no one’s even thought to maybe pat him on the back for the place not going out of business, which it almost shockingly did not. So it was nice to see Euromoney name him Banker of The Year, an award they bestowed upon him for doing “a pretty good job” with Citi. You know what would’ve been even nicer? Read more »
One expert who’s consulted for HSBC and IBM feels day sans clothes is the way to go, noting that “if you get such a huge fear/inhibition out of the way, it will make your team stronger. More open. More honest.” And when one firm in London actually gave it a test drive last year, the reviews were pretty solid.
“It was brilliant. Now that we’ve seen each other naked, there are no barriers,” said the one female employee who went Full Monty told CNBC. “It was emotional but we found we were much more able to talk to each other honestly — and have been since. The company has improved massively.”
And while the suggestion that there be a say on Lloyd et al’s pay is adorable– really, so cute– management has decided that, instead of going with it, to keep things as they are. And while this exercise in pretending to care about your feelings was fun for just this once, next time you get it in your heads that anyone down here gives a rat’s ass what you think, about their packages or really anything for that matter, before you voice those concerns, what you should do instead is go fuck yourselves. One more word and LB’s 2010 pay is determined today– a unit. And he gets to bang your wives. Consider them banged! Anyone else wanna be a hero?
Group Inc.’s board of directors has received several demand letters from shareholders relating to compensation matters, including demands that Group Inc.’s board of directors investigates compensation awards over recent years, take steps to recoup alleged excessive compensation, and adopt certain reforms. After considering the demand letters, Group Inc.’s board of directors rejected the demands.
Goldman Rejects Shareholder Pay Demands [Dealbook via DI]
On the popularity Undercover Boss, wherein CEO’s of various companies “slip into the ranks” of their company alongside entry level employees to get a little taste of how the other half of their firm lives, Vikram Pandit has been nominated to appear on an episode of the show. Obviously, seeing Pandito pose as a first year analyst would be phenomenal, and a thrill for the bank’s junior rainmakers. There would be night-before jitters, of course, and it’d be hard to watch Uncle Vik sweat as he gets reamed out for screwing up his first pitch book, but clearly that’d be part of the fun. Unfortunately, it’s unlikely that VP will accept the offer, unless he’s directed to do so by Prince Alwaleed as part the new mandate for 2010 (Operation Make This Thing Work). Rest assured we’re working on it, but in the event Vikram chooses to remain ensconced in his zen garden-less office, who would you like to see cast on the show? Lloyd Blankfein rank and filing with the mini-Squid? Stevie mixing it up with the back office and later, forced to make an important decision? Lenny Dykstra reporting for duty as a junior trader at Nails Investment Corp? Ken? Jamie? Cliff? And what do you want them to have to do once they’re when they’re down there? No wrong answers on this one.
