They said it couldn’t be done. They said it didn’t matter if it was $4.5 million or $2.5 million or if they were giving it away. They said potentials buyers wouldn’t be swayed by the pitch to “sleep where Angelo Mozilo hath slept, after a few too many troughs of Boone’s farm” (AKA “The Mozilo Bedroom”), or to impress guests with the cocktail party fodder that “that chair you’re sitting in right now the very one Ken Lewis was sitting in when he decided to buy Merrill Lynch, can’t get better investing karma than that.” They said the vomit stains on the rug would not be a selling point. They were wrong. Read more »
that’s nice
Great news for anyone who’s been sitting nervously at their desk at Morgan Stanley the last few days, wondering whether or not their boss was about to tap them on the shoulder to go have a chat with HR: if you’ve made it this long, you’re safe! There will be no more human layoffs for the foreseeable future (plants may still be at risk). Read more »
Recent events might have had you thinking otherwise, but Credit Suisse does more than just layoff its employees– sometimes it promotes them, too! Earlier this morning, in fact, the Swiss bumped a whole bunch of guys and girls up to managing director. And even though it’s not grundle-to-face level exciting, it’s still something. Read more »
Layoffs Watch ’12: Acquisition Of Jefferies By Perpetrators Of Cow Genocide Bodes Well For Firm’s Employees
By Bess Levin
Rumors began to circulate late last year that Jefferies could be acquired by a large bank, something that would surely result in layoffs. “When banks buy other banks, people lose their jobs,” said Richard Lipstein, managing director at executive search firm Gilbert Tweed Associates. “If you look at a sale of an investment bank, this is as close to perfect as it gets.” Leucadia, often compared to Berkshire Hathaway for its diverse set of holdings, already owns a 28% stake in Jefferies, meaning it intimately knows the firm and its culture, and believes in its direction, Lipstein said…As for layoffs, “there likely won’t be any,” said one headhunter who works with Jefferies and requested anonymity. “Now they’ll have a stronger balance sheet, and the ability to pick up slack where other firms have left off,” said the recruiter. [eF, earlier]
But will he read select passages at Dealbreaker Dramatic Reading night? These are the questions that need answering. [Bloomberg TV]
FSA Willing To Give Guy Who Poses “Extreme Risk To The Market When Drunk” Second Chance
By Bess Levin
Although not authorized to invest company cash in trades, Steve Perkins, a long standing, senior broker at PVM Oil Futures, had managed to spend $520 million on oil futures contracts throughout the night of June 30, 2009, the FSA said today. On the morning of the 30th, an admin clerk called Perkins to ask why he had bought 7 million barrels of crude during the night. Perkins had no recollection of the transactions, and it turned out that he had made the trades during a “drunken blackout,” according to the FSA. By the time PVM realized the transactions had not been authorized by a client, they had incurred losses of $9,763,252. Between the hours of 1:22 a.m. and 3:41 a.m., Perkins gradually bought 69 percent of the global market, while driving prices up from $71.40 to $73.05, by bidding higher each time. At 6:30 a.m., presumably sobering up and realizing what he’d done, he sent a message to his managing director claiming an unwell relative meant he would not be able to make it into work. Following an official investigation Perkins admitted to having a drink problem, had his trading license revoked for five years, and was given a fine of £72,000 ($116,878). The FSA has said that they will re-approve his license after the five-year period, if he has recovered from his drinking problem, although they warned that,“Mr Perkins poses an extreme risk to the market when drunk.” [CNBC, earlier]
Harbinger Capital-backed LightSquared is a wireless venture that seeks to create “convenient connectivity for all.” Unfortunately, as the Wilbur Falcone fans among us know, it’s looking like it’ll be a dark day in hell before that happens, on account of bunch of forces working together to shut this thing down at every turn, including but not limited to the yachting community that claims GSP interference caused by LS will result in boats getting lost at sea; the National Oceanic Atmospheric Administration, which has said LightSquared “may degrade precision services that track hurricanes, guide farmers and help build flood defenses”; and the FAA, which recently put out a study estimating LS could “cost 794 lives in aviation accidents over 10 years with disruptions to satellite-aided navigation.” Also not helping is the fact that LightSquared filed for bankruptcy in May, the company is blowing through cash faster than Wilbur’s Studio 54 days, and senior executives won’t stop quitting. While some people might take stock of the situation and decide, at this point, to throw in the towel, Wilbur Falcone’s benefactor is not some people. He’s making this thing work if it’s the last thing he does. So, what now? Obviously a couple of miracle workers are going to be needed and the thing about miracle workers is that they don’t come cheap. Gotta spend money to make money. Read more »
Bob Diamond Lieutenant Jerry Del Missier Ended Up Faring A Bit Better In The Parting Gifts Department Than The Boss
By Bess Levin
The bad news is that former Barclays chief operating officer Jerry del Missier is still out of a job and it may be some time before he gets a new one, on account of “investigations conducted by American and British authorities [demonstrating] he was a central figure” in the scandal du jour and “asked other bank officials to lower the firm’s submissions to Libor.” The good news is that Jer is still (probably) getting paid, unlike some people he knows. Read more »
Remember Paolo Pellegrini? For those who need a refresher, the Italian Stallion is the former Paulson and Co. employee who helped John come up with a highly lucrative subprime trade, later leaving the firm to set up his own shop (the delightfully named PSQR AKA Pellegrini Squared) after some reported friction re: whether or not he was getting enough credit for netting the hedge fund billions via ‘the greatest trade ever.’ PSQR returned 40% in 2008 and 61.6% in 2009 and then in August 2010, Pellegrini gave back all outside investor capital, stating that he would be focusing on managing his own money. And speaking of Paolo’s pennies, the ones he had invested with Paulson have taken a li’l bit of a hit lately. But according to Big P, who previously dabbled in DJ’ing and efforts to get pot legalized, it’s all good. Read more »
U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission investigators have concluded their probe of possible financial fraud at Lehman Brothers Holdings Inc. and determined that they will probably not recommend any enforcement action against the firm or its former executives, according to an excerpt of an internal agency memo. Under a heading reading “Activity in the Last Four Weeks,” the undated document reads, “The staff has concluded its investigation and determined that charges will likely not be recommended.” [Bloomberg]
It Would Be Great If Banks Could Start Complying With Financial Reforms Two Years From Now But No One Should Stress Themselves Out About It Or Anything
By Bess LevinWall Street banks will have two years to implement the so-called Volcker rule so long as they make a “good faith” effort to comply with the ban on proprietary trading, U.S. regulators said. Banks will get the “full two-year period” provided by the Dodd-Frank financial overhaul law to “conform” their activities and investments, the Federal Reserve and four other U.S. agencies said in a statement today. The Fed has the authority to extend the period of compliance beyond July 21, 2014, the regulators said. “A lot of sweating brows at big banks are a lot drier today,” said Karen Shaw Petrou, a managing partner at Federal Financial Analytics, a Washington research firm whose clients have included Wells Fargo [Bloomberg]
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