that’s nice

  • kenlewisbathroom


    Ken Lewis’s Great Idea Pad Sells For $3.15 Million

    They said it couldn’t be done. They said it didn’t matter if it was $4.5 million or $2.5 million or if they were giving it away. They said potentials buyers wouldn’t be swayed by the pitch to “sleep where Angelo Mozilo hath slept, after a few too many troughs of Boone’s farm” (AKA “The Mozilo Bedroom”), or to impress guests with the cocktail party fodder that “that chair you’re sitting in right now the very one Ken Lewis was sitting in when he decided to buy Merrill Lynch, can’t get better investing karma than that.” They said the vomit stains on the rug would not be a selling point. They were wrong.

    / Feb 6, 2013 at 4:43 PM
  • morganstanley


    Morgan Stanley Has Canned Enough Employees At This Point

    Great news for anyone who’s been sitting nervously at their desk at Morgan Stanley the last few days, wondering whether or not their boss was about to tap them on the shoulder to go have a chat with HR: if you’ve made it this long, you’re safe! There will be no more human layoffs for the foreseeable future (plants may still be at risk).

    / Jan 18, 2013 at 2:36 PM
  • brady-dougan


    Promotion Watch ’12: Credit Suisse

    Recent events might have had you thinking otherwise, but Credit Suisse does more than just layoff its employees– sometimes it promotes them, too! Earlier this morning, in fact, the Swiss bumped a whole bunch of guys and girls up to managing director. And even though it’s not grundle-to-face level exciting, it’s still something.

    / Dec 18, 2012 at 1:44 PM
  • News

    Bonus Watch ’12: There Will Be No Parting Gifts For Laid Off Citi Employees

    The Big C apologizes if anyone was under the impression it’d be paying out bonuses and severance. Happy holidays and stay in touch.

    / Dec 5, 2012 at 5:05 PM
  • jefferies


    Layoffs Watch ’12: Acquisition Of Jefferies By Perpetrators Of Cow Genocide Bodes Well For Firm’s Employees

    Rumors began to circulate late last year that Jefferies could be acquired by a large […]

    / Nov 12, 2012 at 3:42 PM
  • News

    Gary Cohn Will “Probably” Read Greg Smith’s Book

    But will he read select passages at Dealbreaker Dramatic Reading night? These are the questions […]

    / Oct 11, 2012 at 2:11 PM
  • News

    FSA Willing To Give Guy Who Poses “Extreme Risk To The Market When Drunk” Second Chance

    Although not authorized to invest company cash in trades, Steve Perkins, a long standing, senior […]

    / Sep 27, 2012 at 7:10 PM
  • News

    Bonus Watch ’13: LightSquared

    LightSquared is a wireless venture that seeks to create “convenient connectivity for all.” Unfortunately, as the Wilbur Falcone fans among us know, it’s looking like it’ll be a dark day in hell before that happens, on account of bunch of forces working together to shut this thing down at every turn, including but not limited to the yachting community that claims GSP interference caused by LS will result in boats getting lost at sea; the National Oceanic Atmospheric Administration, which has said LightSquared “may degrade precision services that track hurricanes, guide farmers and help build flood defenses”; and the FAA, which recently put out a study estimating LS could “cost 794 lives in aviation accidents over 10 years with disruptions to satellite-aided navigation.” Also not helping is that LightSquared filed for bankruptcy in May, the company is blowing through cash faster than Wilbur’s Studio 54 days, and senior executives won’t stop quitting. While some people might take stock of the situation and decide, at this point, to throw in the towel, Wilbur Falcone’s benefactor is not some people. He’s making this thing work if it’s the last thing he does. So, what to do? Obviously a couple of miracle workers are going to be needed and the thing about miracle workers is that they don’t come cheap. Gotta spend money to make money.

    Troubled wireless-satellite company LightSquared wants permission to dole out up to nearly $6 million in cash bonuses to four of its top employees, including its interim chief executive. Recent months have seen LightSquared burn through money–it has spent $134.3 million since filing for bankruptcy in May, according to its most recent monthly operating report, and executives alike. In court papers filed Wednesday, LightSquared said four senior executives have left the company in the past six months, including its former chairman of the board and CEO. The company wants to make sure four “irreplaceable employees” stick with the company as it attempts to claw its way out of bankruptcy protection and help to make the reorganization as fast and cheap as possible. LightSquared’s bonus proposal paves the way for a “total possible cash payout of approximately $5.985 million” over two years, according to a filing with the U.S. Bankruptcy Court in Manhattan. Four employees–interim CEO, president and chairman of the board Douglas Smith; Chief Financial Officer Marc R. Montagner; general counsel Curtis Lu; and its executive vice president, regulatory affairs & public policy Jeffrey Carlisle–would be eligible for incentives consisting of cash and restricted stock units paid in shares of the company’s current common stock.

    If the executives satisfy cash preservation goals, make progress in LightSquared’s efforts to resolve certain regulatory issues and emerge from bankruptcy by the end of 2013, they’ll receive vesting of all issued stock and “aggregate incentive payments of cash up to 285% of each such key employee’s annual salary,” LightSquared said. Hitting less aggressive goals, like exiting bankruptcy by the end of June 2014, would come with smaller payouts, like a cash bonus equal to 100% of the executives’ annual salary, in the case of the mid-2014 bankruptcy exit. Mr. Smith currently makes $700,000 annually; Mr. Montagner and Mr. Lu $500,000 each; and Mr. Carlisle $400,000. LightSquared said each of the employees “provides critical services, drives performance, and impacts LightSquared’s ability to enhance value in the Chapter 11 cases.” The group has also had to take on extra work recently, as more and more employees have left LightSquared both voluntarily and involuntarily. The company said its total employee headcount has dropped by 60% in the last six months. The bonus plan aims to motivate the company’s leaders to manage its businesses and working capital effectively and maximize the value of the estate for the benefit of all stakeholders, LightSquared said.

    LightSquared Seeks to Pay Key Executives up to $6M in Bonuses [DowJones]

    / Aug 30, 2012 at 4:12 PM
  • News

    Bob Diamond Lieutenant Jerry Del Missier Ended Up Faring A Bit Better In The Parting Gifts Department Than The Boss

    The bad news is that former Barclays chief operating officer Jerry del Missier is still out of a job and it may be some time before he gets a new one, on account of “investigations conducted by American and British authorities [demonstrating] he was a central figure” in the scandal du jour and “asked other bank officials to lower the firm’s submissions to Libor.” The good news is that Jer is still (probably) getting paid, unlike some people he knows.

    Barclays was mired in fresh controversy on Wednesday night after handing almost £9m to a top banker who left following the Libor scandal and after one of its highest profile non-executive directors suddenly quit, taking the toll at the top to four. Jerry del Missier, who resigned after telling subordinates to reduce the bank’s Libor submission during the October 2008 banking crisis, was reported to have been handed £8.75m cash as part of his leaving package.

    Shadow Treasury minister Chris Leslie called on del Missier to follow Diamond and waive the bulk of his payoff. “Having resigned from Barclays over the Libor fixing scandal, people will find the scale of this award completely inappropriate. Bob Diamond rightly waived most of his pay off and Mr del Missier ought to do the same,” Leslie said.

    £9m leaving deal for Barclays deputy Jerry del Missier [Guardian]
    Former Top Barclays Official in Line for $13.6 Million Payout [Dealbook]

    / Jul 26, 2012 at 2:57 PM
  • Hedge Funds

    Former Paulson Protégé In A Charitable Places About Losses

    Remember Paolo Pellegrini? For those who need a refresher, the Italian Stallion is the former […]

    / Jul 11, 2012 at 11:47 AM
  • richardfuld


    Dick Fuld’s Weekend Is Looking Up

    U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission investigators have concluded their probe of possible financial fraud at […]

    / May 24, 2012 at 3:56 PM
  • News

    It Would Be Great If Banks Could Start Complying With Financial Reforms Two Years From Now But No One Should Stress Themselves Out About It Or Anything

    Wall Street banks will have two years to implement the so-called Volcker rule so long […]

    / Apr 19, 2012 at 7:03 PM
  • News

    Goldman Sachs Probably Won’t Be Laying People Off Anytime Soon

    People being the operative word here, as the statement “we’re going to look for other means for efficiency” most certainly suggests plants may once again find themselves on the chopping block.

    After a year of cost-cutting that resulted in more than 2,400 job cuts, Goldman Sachs is satisfied with its staffing levels and doesn’t intend to conduct more large layoffs. Chief Financial Officer David Viniar said the firm has “largely implemented our announced expense reductions” and is “relatively well-positioned, assuming the environment stays where it is.” He was speaking on a conference call with analysts to discuss first-quarter earnings. “We’re going to look for other means for efficiency,” he said. “I wouldn’t expect anything major to change from where we are.”

    Goldman Sachs Ends Layoffs [FINS]
    Related: Layoffs Watch ’11: Goldman Sachs’ Philodendrons In The Line Of Fire

    / Apr 17, 2012 at 12:43 PM
  • News

    Jon Corzine’s Got Money To Burn

    A bankruptcy judge said MF Global can use existing insurance policies to pay potential “wrongful […]

    / Apr 11, 2012 at 1:35 PM
  • johnpaulsonposing

    Hedge Funds

    Bonus Watch ’13: Paulson And Co.

    The bad news: even if Paulson and Co. turns things around in 2012, they might not get to collect performance fees, on account of being under water due to last year’s annus fucking horribilis. The good news: John Paulson’s employee will still get paid, because that’s just the kind of guy he is.

    Paulson’s flagship fund, Advantage Plus, fell a whopping 53 percent last year – prompting an apology to investors and a media drubbing. The decline also meant that it could be years before Advantage Plus and other fallen Paulson funds are able to return to their high-water mark, or the returns level at which John Paulson and his colleagues can begin to collect a significant percentage of their annual gains as performance fees.

    In an acknowledgement of that problem, Paulson recently told some employees he would reset the firm’s internal high-water mark to zero as of Jan. 1, said the person familiar with the matter, effectively meaning that if the company’s funds are in the black for 2012, those employees can collect bonuses pegged to this year’s returns and not be dragged down by last year’s losses. Paulson will pay for those bonuses himself, this person added.

    John Paulson Lowers the Bar to Pay Employees [CNBC]
    Related: John Paulson: I’ll Get The Losses This Year, Next Year We Go Dutch?

    / Mar 27, 2012 at 4:24 PM
  • News

    Jimmy Cayne May Be About To Come Into Some Money!

    10-pound bag of Chronic Supernova, consider yourself bought.

    Thousands of former Bear Stearns Cos. (BSC) employees will share a $10 million settlement of lawsuits claiming they lost money on the bank’s stock in their retirement accounts. Two ex-Bear Stearns employees yesterday asked a federal court judge in Manhattan to approve the settlement on behalf of an estimated 8,400 former colleagues. The settlement will resolve class-action suits filed beginning in 2008 against Bear Stearns and other defendants by former employees of the bank. The employees, participants and beneficiaries of Bear Stearns’s employee stock ownership plan who held shares of the bank’s common stock, claimed risky investments in subprime mortgages caused them to lose money.

    Ex-Bear Stearns Employees to Get $10 Million in Settlement [Bloomberg]
    Related: Jimmy Cayne Takes “It’s A Bag Of Oregano” Route In Face Of Drug Use Allegations

    / Mar 21, 2012 at 4:05 PM
  • News

    Bonus Watch ’12: MF Global

    The company’s top executives have apparently been a really big help post-biting the big one […]

    / Mar 9, 2012 at 11:24 AM
  • News

    UBS Hitches Its Wagon To Bear Stearns Alum’s Star

    Princes of Bear Stearns, kings of Lehman Brothers– have you attempted to gain new employment […]

    / Feb 24, 2012 at 6:24 PM
  • Hedge Funds, News

    Whitney Tilson Was As Surprised As You Are To Learn That He Was Long Netflix On The Way Up

    NFLX is up 75% year to date so you probably assumed that Whitney Tilson had gotten rid of it sometime last year. You were not alone:

    We thought it was a little strange when Whitney Tilson and Glenn Tongue’s hedge fund T2 Partners’ latest 13F came out earlier this week and Netflix wasn’t included.

    We sent the hedge fund manager an email to find out why and there’s now a corrected version of the fund’s regulatory filing out.

    It turned out, it was just an error.

    As of December 31, 2011, T2 Partners had combination of 89,771 shares and 81,000 call options in Netflix, according to the updated 13F.

    Here’s Why Whitney Tilson’s 13-F Didn’t Have Netflix In It When It Came Out [BI]

    / Feb 16, 2012 at 4:29 PM
  • News

    Bain Capital Betting On Ryan Seacrest To Pluck Another Sex Tape Star From Obscurity

    Ryan Seacrest, the radio and TV producer and host of “American Idol,” garnered a commitment […]

    / Jan 31, 2012 at 2:30 PM
  • News

    Let’s Talk About: CFA Level I Results

    Thirty-eight percent of the December™ Level I™ test-takers test-takers learn by email today that they’re […]

    / Jan 24, 2012 at 10:27 AM
  • News

    Brady Dougan Is Waiting For His Thank You

    Remember, back in December 2008, when Credit Suisse announced it would be paying out bonuses […]

    / Jan 20, 2012 at 11:56 AM
  • News

    Bonus Watch ’11: Eleventh Year Jefferies CEOs

    Richard Handler has declared himself not worthy.

    / Dec 21, 2011 at 5:39 PM
  • News

    Raj Rajaratnam Could In Theory Hit Up Cabo For Spring Break This Year

    Raj Rajaratnam, the former hedge- fund manager serving an 11-year prison sentence for insider trading, […]

    / Dec 12, 2011 at 3:50 PM
  • News

    John Paulson: I’ll Get The Losses This Year, Next Year We Go Dutch?

    When one is an investor in a hedge fund, letters from the top that include […]

    / Nov 30, 2011 at 2:29 PM
  • Banks

    Layoffs/Hiring Watch ’11: Citi

    The bad news, as previously mentioned, is that Citi is firing a bunch of people. […]

    / Nov 16, 2011 at 12:57 PM
  • News

    Layoffs Watch ’11: Deutsche Bank

    The Germans said this morning that 1) employees will face the ax if the “environment” […]

    / Oct 25, 2011 at 1:11 PM
  • News

    New York Times Crossword Puzzle Sends Coded Messages Of Support To Jeff Gundlach

    But, of course, only on Fridays and Saturdays:

    / Sep 30, 2011 at 12:25 PM