things that will never happen

“How much better do you live with $2 billion than $50 million?” chairman and founder of the New York Hedge Fund Roundtable Stanely Goldstein recently asked, the insinuation being that one does not feel much of a difference between living comfortably and living at a pay grade that affords you at least one private jet, multiple castles, an oil tanker, 1,000 eunuchs, a McMansion in every city in America (for storage), and a wing in your main house dedicated solely to deep-frying things. Goldstein wanted to make that case because it would help garner support for an idea he has: to cap hedge fund manager pay. Now, before everyone gets their fleece knickers in a twist, know this– Stan is doing this for you! “I am a free-market economy, right-of-center Republican, and I resent how the liberals have used hedge funds as a punching bag,” Goldstein said. The way he sees it, hedge fund managers would be much happier if they took home a number that wouldn’t be “ridiculed” by the public. Read more »

Come on in gang!

That’s apparently what he tells Bryan Burrough in an upcoming article for Vanity Fair interestingly titled “What’s Eating Steve Cohen?” Beyond putting the unthinkable (a 72 Cummings Point Road without the big guy? Ping Jiang would sooner do a woman) out there, Burrough also posits that the reason Stevie agreed to his only second interview ever was because Mrs. Alex Cohen had always wanted to be shot by Annie Leibovitz (BB’s alternate theory, which he shared with Bloomberg earlier, is that SC wanted to break his “code of silence” to show the world “he doesn’t have long hair and finger nails,” which is gonna disappoint some of the fan boys). Read more »