this is serious

  • 23 May 2013 at 1:21 PM

Seamless Watch ’13: Macquarie

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On the heels of this, the Aussies have taken an ax to (weekend) food allowances and its (junior) mistmakers, for one, are having none of it! Read more »

  • 07 Mar 2013 at 5:31 PM

Pen And Pencil Watch ’13: Deutsche Bank

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Remember when Citigroup announced it was going to save a bunch of money by banning color copies and requiring employees to print on both sides? Deutsche Bank appears to be taking a play from that playabook. Read more »

  • 25 Jul 2012 at 2:43 PM

CFA Police: “The Candidate Was Moving His Hat And Hands Around Using What Appeared To Be Signals”

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Yesterday, at approximately 10:30AM, scores of financial services employees breathed a collective sigh of relief. Relief that months of studying had paid off in the form of a passing score on the Level I and II CFA exams. Relief that, even though months of studying had been a total waste of time with nothing to show for it, they could get on with their lives and stop wondering. One guy was less lucky. He’s in a CFA holding cell right now pending an investigation, thanks to some supposedly suspect fidgeting and a couple proctors with itchy trigger fingers, possibly hoping to impress their superiors. Read more »

  • 29 May 2012 at 10:31 AM

Greek Exit From Euro Will Have Dire Consequences On Erotic Underwear Sales

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Only a quarter of the 300 to 400 sex shops that once existed in Athens have survived the crisis, and business looked bleak for those who brought their wares to Greece’s biggest sex fair-the Athens Erotic Dream- last Friday…”Things look really bad,” said stall holder Donatos Passaris, 38, standing in front of a long bench of vibrators, lotions and other items. “We’re making just €20 [£16] a day, if at all,” said Marianna Lemnarou, another retailer. “Some customers just don’t feel like having sex – others can’t afford to buy our stuff in the crisis.” Just as other manufacturers have suffered from soaring wage costs since Greece joined the euro, local makers of erotic underwear have found it difficult to compete with cheaper rivals abroad. “The Chinese and the Turks are killing us,” said Lefteris Papadopoulos, 55, who offers discounted hot pants, garters and stockings for €5 to €10 apiece…But a return to the drachma currency – feared by many – would deal the industry a further setback. Almost all sex toys sold in Greece are imported from countries such as Germany or Poland, and a devalued drachma would make them unaffordable. “A vibrator that now costs €20 would then cost €50,” said Passaris. [Telegraph]

  • 08 May 2012 at 12:50 PM

Yahoo! RésuméGate: Day 6

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Patti S. Hart, the Yahoo director who headed the board search committee that picked Scott Thompson as the company’s chief executive, will not stand for re-election, a person briefed on the matter told DealBook on Tuesday. Ms. Hart’s departure, which could be announced as soon as Tuesday afternoon, is the first significant response by Yahoo amid the growing controversy over Mr. Thompson’s academic record. The company is also expected to formally announce later on Tuesday the formation of a three-member board committee to investigate Mr. Thompson’s hiring and how erroneous academic information appeared in official company documents…Before last Thursday, Mr. Thompson’s biography said he had earned both accounting and computer science degrees from Stonehill College in Massachusetts. After prodding by the hedge fund Third Point last week, Yahoo conceded that Mr. Thompson had earned only an accounting degree. Ms. Hart’s biographical information also misstated her academic credentials, saying she had a degree in marketing and economics when it was in business administration. [Dealbook, earlier]

  • 07 May 2012 at 12:46 PM

What Quality Paper Was Scott Thompson’s Yahoo Résumé Printed On? Inquiring Minds Want To Know

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Do you know what time it is? Nearly 1PM, EDT. The significance? That it is over an hour past the deadline hedge fund manager Dan Loeb put the Yahoo board on to fire CEO Scott Thompson and director Patti Hart for being résumé con artists. (Thompson, Loeb revealed last week, lied in SEC filings about having a computer science degree from Stonehill College, while Hart claimed to have graduated from Illinois State University with degrees in marketing and economics when, in fact, she merely earned a bachelors in business administration and specialized in marketing and econ). On Friday, Loeb demanded that the C.V. frauds be terminated for cause given their “demonstrable unsuitability” to continue their roles with the company. Clearly that did not happen, so now this is: Read more »

Attention Would-Be Thieves: Bridgewater Associates Take Their Buns Of Steel Tapes Very Seriously

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Last Friday afternoon, while many a financial services employee was dealing with the fallout of receiving a bonus they did not believe to be commensurate with the work they put in for 2011, Bridgewater was dealing with a far weightier issue. The hedge fund had a thief in its ranks and said thief’s jig was up. Read more »

  • 23 Jun 2011 at 5:06 PM

Help Spring Lenny Dykstra Out Of The Clink Today (Update)

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As you may have heard, Lenny Dykstra is currently sitting in jail on bankruptcy fraud charges. The man once named investor of the century by Jim Cramer could prepare for his upcoming trial in the company of wherever he’s crashing these days but no one has stepped up to the plate to cover the cash portion of his bail, $50,000 in cash (the collateral of $500,000 to secure the bond is in the bag). Want to do your part to bust him out? Want to bust him out without anyone knowing you helped (no names: Jim). Now you can. Read more »

  • 06 Jul 2010 at 3:05 PM

Are Strippers Finally Getting The Thanks They Deserve?

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Time was, if you were an exotic dancer, your customers probably wouldn’t have thanked you for that lap dance you so deftly performed. Ingrates, the lot of them, but what could you do? But now? That things aren’t so happy snappy? Strippers are finally getting appreciated for the hard work they do, at least according to one gal named “Bubbles.” Read more »

  • 18 Jun 2010 at 4:15 PM

Serious Question Of The Day

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“If Megan Fox were a Hollywood stock, should you buy, sell, or hold?” At least one thing to take into consideration is that she’s had Shia Labeouf’s tongue in her mouth. [NYM]

  • 26 Jan 2010 at 2:28 PM

What’s A “Bloomberg Minute”?

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With regard to…prison rape? It appears to be a new term recently coined by Tracey Ullman, in the clip above, wherein the Bubba to Bernie Madoff’s bitch rolls over and tells the Ponz Master, “Give me a Bloomberg Minute before you brush my teeth.” Obviously this thing has the potential to be huge so before it gets inserted into the vernacular we need to nail down what exactly Ping Jiang (just as a for instance) will be instructing his new special lady friend to do when he orders one of these. We can’t have some people thinking it’s just a catch-all for ‘open and willing ass’ (as indicated in the video) and others assuming HJ. So, I ask you to stop what you’re doing and let tackling this issue take precedence. It’s important.
(Sidebar: The reason I stumbled upon this clip was not because Bernie is blamed for 9/11 and swine flu but because Ullman is supposed to do a Barney Frank impression at some point this season which could be phenomenal.)