tips

Most individuals working on Wall Street are good, honest people. But, as with every industry, you will always have your bad seeds. And should you perhaps wake up one morning to find the Feds outside your door, because your best friend sold you out by recording your explicit instructions re: how to dispose of evidence you committed securities fraud, or you were (allegedly) part of a “criminal club” that met regularly to share material non-public information with each other, or you bribed people with lobsters to do your bidding for you, and prison life is not the life for you and you need to come up with a hiding place they’ll never find you, STAT, sand and a cardboard box are a good place to start. Read more »

  • 16 Oct 2012 at 2:41 PM

Just Something To Think About

Call it Anglocreep. Call it annoying. Snippets of British vernacular that were until recently as rare as steak and kidney pie on these shores are cropping up in the daily speech of Americans (particularly, New Yorkers) of the taste-making set who often have no more direct tie to Britain than an affinity for “Downton Abbey.” This star-spangled burst of Anglophonia has “established itself as this linguistic phenomenon that shows no sign of abating,” said Ben Yagoda, a professor of English at the University of Delaware. “The 21st-century ‘chattering classes’ — which is itself a Britishism — are the most significant perpetrators of this trend,” he added…“I’m getting sick of my investment banking clients saying ‘cheers’ to me,” said Euan Rellie, a socially prominent British-born finance executive in New York. [NYT]

  • 28 Sep 2012 at 12:41 PM

Jeffrey Gundlach’s Babies Come Home

Just a week after putting out an AMBER alert that several of his beloved pieces of art had gone missing during a heist on his home and a mere four days after an emotional press conference pleading with the public to help him find them, bond manager Jeffrey Gundlach’s most prized possessions, after his Sexy Slave KitTM, have been recovered. Read more »

As you all are well aware, from time to time we cover food eating challenges around these parts. We don’t chronicle all the feats of gastrointestinal fortitude that come our way, though, because while we love you all, not all of your FECs constitute what we’d consider an actual challenge worth covering. As previously discussed, our high bar has everything to do with the first contest we ever wrote about (as a postmortem), which involved a man named Oyster Boy, who consumed 244 oysters in 1 hour at Ulysses, throwing down the gauntlet down for one of you to pick up, vis-à-vis goring yourself for sport. Do we really expect anyone to match OB in magnitude or strength of stomach lining? No, we do not. Having said that, “challenges” such as eating 8 vending machine items in 12 hours (or in an unlimited amount of time!) are not going to cut it. It’s not an exact science but we look for FECs that are imaginative, topical, and/or represent a high degree of difficulty. (And while we wouldn’t actually advise it, live streaming the whole thing would make our day.) Which brings us to this afternoon’s challenge. Read more »

Have the past several years wreaked havoc on your looks? Do you wake up with new wrinkles every day? Is your face starting to look like an old catcher’s mitt? Do you stare into the mirror and wonder who the old, haggard looking man staring back is? Does it look like a bag lady has taken up residence under your eyes? Do you have trouble concentrating at work because you’re constantly wondering if people are discussing how badly you’ve let yourself go? Do you catch a glimmer of your reflection and think, “Why would anyone want to fuck me? I’m hideous.” Are you generally disgusted with yourself? Do you want to do something about it, something involving a doctor’s office and needles, but are afraid of what people might think? Don’t be! According to Bloomberg lots of guys are taking 20 to “refresh” themselves and in fact, financial services employees represent “the fastest growing segment” of Dr. Dendy Engelman’s “patient population.” Everybody does it, it’s just that no one talks about it. Read more »

“Be likable. Just that. Fun, upbeat, friendly, authentic, filled with positive energy, happy, agreeable, chit-chatty about sports and the weather and The Avengers, or frankly, whatever everyone at your company likes to be chit-chatty about. Get in the game and play, even literally, if there’s a softball game to be had. Let people know you. Let them hear you laugh. Let them see your humanity.” [Reuters]

Earlier this week, we had a little chat about letting your hair down in the summer months, but not so much that you get a reputation among colleagues and/or law enforcement officials. For example, while you should definitely allow yourself to enjoy some adult beverages during leisurely outdoor lunches and cut out early to grab a few or more with coworkers you actually like, you don’t want to have so many drinks that you drive a car through a stranger’s house. To that end, while you should certainly feel comfortable dancing atop a bar nobody’s watching, you might want to consider not getting up on table at a restaurant and (allegedly) destroying thousands of dollars in lighting fixtures while demonstrating a roundhouse kick or the moves you’ve been practicing for your Rockettes audition. Read more »