tips

Earlier this week, we had a little chat about letting your hair down in the summer months, but not so much that you get a reputation among colleagues and/or law enforcement officials. For example, while you should definitely allow yourself to enjoy some adult beverages during leisurely outdoor lunches and cut out early to grab a few or more with coworkers you actually like, you don’t want to have so many drinks that you drive a car through a stranger’s house. To that end, while you should certainly feel comfortable dancing atop a bar nobody’s watching, you might want to consider not getting up on table at a restaurant and (allegedly) destroying thousands of dollars in lighting fixtures while demonstrating a roundhouse kick or the moves you’ve been practicing for your Rockettes audition. Read more »

As America’s lockups have become more crowded, so has the prison-prep industry, a field built for white-collar criminals with the means to pay for lessons on coping with strip searches and with getting along with a tattooed cellmate named Bubba…Patrick Boyce learned the etiquette of incarceration by hiring a convicted fraud artist-turned-prison consultant. Now Mr. Boyce, 42, has become one, too. Among the most important principles of proper prison behavior, he says: Be polite. Don’t butt into conversations, don’t forget to say “excuse me” when you bump into someone, even when it isn’t your fault. Don’t watch TV in another man’s chair. Don’t reach across someone else’s plate at chow time. “That could be immediately answered with a fork in your arm,” says Mr. Boyce, a former stockbroker who completed 11 months in the pen in 2004 and advertises himself as a “federal mitigation specialist.” [WSJ]

  • 14 Feb 2012 at 12:46 PM

Presenting: Executive Bitches

For Valentine’s Day this year, Fortune put together a slideshow of various executives, analysts, fund managers, and disgraced AIG CEOs posing with their one true loves– their dogs. For the big names who missed the deadline to submit photos, fear not– this feature is clearly going to become an annual thing. For those already mentally directing a photoshoot of yourself and Jamie the Younger, maybe running down Park Ave or shooting hoops at the Garden, you might first consider looking to this year’s pioneering efforts for inspiration.


For instance, in addition to putting your love for each other on display, why not use the opportunity to showcase your credentials, as “Fortune All-Star Analyst” Mike Mayo does here? Read more »

  • 30 Jan 2012 at 8:36 PM

Going Public? Groupon CEO Has Some Wisdom To Impart

Mr. Mason, who sometimes posts online videos of himself in his underwear doing yoga or dancing, sat down for a recent interview in his Chicago office to discuss challenges facing the company and his ability to handle them. WSJ: The SEC also took issue with a memo you wrote to employees during the quiet period that was leaked to the press. Mr. Mason: I wrote the memo because 23-year-olds were coming into my office and asking how they should respond to their parents when they ask if Groupon is about to go bankrupt. The risks of not communicating to my employees were greater than the risks of doing otherwise. If I knew it was going to leak, I would have been less bizarre, and I wouldn’t have made a joke about my now-wife. She was upset. (He joked that his then-girlfriend asked him why he never said anything nice about her.) [WSJ]

Maybe you’re a first-year analyst at Goldman Sachs who’d like to run the place. Maybe you’re a SAC trader who wants to be the next Steve. Maybe you’re the CEO of JPMorgan, though you’d prefer the title of Mr. Treasury Secretary. Maybe you’re a mega successful hedge fund manager who dreams of breeding dogs and, one day, taking your best dog to Alaska to run and win the Iditorad in record time, with you driving. You’ve all got a dream but the question is, how are you going to make it happen? If you really want to know, Mike Bloomberg will tell you. The first thing you’re gonna do, the Mayor said in an recent interview, is you’re gonna stop being afraid. You’re not going to have a defeatist attitude that causes you to miss out on things. You’re going to seize every day as an opportunity and you’re going to realize that every situation has an upside if you look hard enough. Sayeth Hizzoner:

“You have that drive to look at the bright side. There’s never been a day I haven’t looked forward to going into work- even the days I knew I was going to get beat up, even the day I knew I was going to get fired…I had never been fired before and wondered what it was like-I thought okay, let’s go find out.”

Second, and most importantly, you’re going to put in the time. Now, Mike knows that anyone can spout off vague cliches about working hard and blah, blah, blah. He’s not here to do that. He’s here to tell you to keep your ass glued to that god damn chair and not get up for anything. Not fresh air, not lunch, not to take a leak. Think he’s not speaking literally? Think again! He doesn’t care if you’re about to piss your pants or if you have a family history of kidney failure. You get out of that chair and it’s over. Read more »

“I save a small fortune in taxi and subway fares—plus untold hours sitting in traffic or on a subway platform—by riding my bike everywhere in Manhattan,” Whitney Tilson told the Journal, which estimates you can save “at least $4,000 a year,” in addition to what you spend on the gym, using Tilson’s chosen mode of transport. “Plus, it’s great exercise!” [WSJ]

From time to time around these parts, we like to offer tips for those looking to successfully make the jump from one firm to another. Obviously a solid record of making money for your employer will help but in addition, or perhaps in lieu of that, nailing the first and last interview is key, and whether you’re a college senior, a third year analyst or a 20 year veteran of the industry, the interview is something with which some people still struggle. While eye contact, handshakes and how to discuss your “worst quality” have all been covered, one topic we haven’t yet discussed is what to do in the event the person conducting your session asks for your thoughts on sex abuse. Specifically, the sex abuse scandal that went down at your respective alma mater. Luckily, career services at Penn State is all over it. Read more »