• News

    How To Deal With Needy Investors Demanding Their Money Back

    Yesterday afternoon, Lakewood real estate developer Eliyahu Weinstein was charged with “masterminding” a $200 million scam to defraud investors, starting in September 2005. Along with Vladimir Siforov, Weinstein target Orthodox Jews in his community, “exploiting social and business customs.” And while theirs is not a business model you probably want to aspire to, there is […]

    / Aug 13, 2010 at 2:30 PM
  • News

    Broker Caught Stealing From Clients Sentenced To Six Months Of Poker

    Are you a money manager currently ripping off your clients or considering doing so in the near future? Are you of the opinion that, if caught, you wouldn’t do so well in the big house? Then here’s a free one: convince the judge you have a gambling addiction and he just might let you a) […]

    / Aug 10, 2010 at 11:40 AM
  • News

    How To Convince A Hedge Fund Manager Not To Track Dirt All Over The Floor Of Your Open House

    Prudential Douglas Elliman broker Darren Sukenik has rules for people who come to his open houses: have the cash to buy what he’s selling, don’t waste his time, and do not bring god knows whatever is on your shoes into this apartment. In order to ensure prospective buyers abide by commandment number three, Sukenik typically […]

    / Aug 9, 2010 at 2:30 PM
  • News

    Bonus Negotiations: How To Get ‘Em Done

    Listen up, people. It’s never to early to start talking year-end bonuses and in order to ensure you’ll be making it rain, today we’re going to talk about this: strategy. Pick a number, any number. Visualize that number. What is it? A unit? A buncha units? You want it? You can have it, so long […]

    / Aug 3, 2010 at 4:12 PM
  • News

    How To Score Points With Your Employees

    BTW, for anyone looking for the actual reason why Susquehanna International Group is allegedly the best firm to work at, the answer may involve the fact that they pretty much just let everyone play poker all day (“poker pervades the culture of SIG”). Something to think about. Related: If You Don’t Like Playing Poker, Consider […]

    / Jul 30, 2010 at 2:50 PM
  • News

    Tool Of The Week: What To Expect In The 27th Goldman Interview

    As many of you are aware, most Goldman applicants are interviewed at least 20 times before they are made an offer and some more than 30. To that end, a couple months back we instituted a new series re: what to expect during various rounds of your GS vetting. The last time we met, we […]

    / Jul 23, 2010 at 4:16 PM
  • News

    Nouriel Roubini Is Soliciting Tips On How To Become The Maestro Of F*cking

    He’s a celebrity economist with alleged ties to some of the most dangerous women in the world. He’s got plaster vulvas on his walls. He parties with George Soros. On the outside, he’s got it all. And yet there’s still one thing Nouriel Roubini longs for. It’s a dream, really, that keeps him up all […]

    / Jul 6, 2010 at 3:19 PM
  • News

    Caption Contest Thursday

    [Warren Buffett and Bill Gates at the Hollywood Diner in Omaha, picking up the check and “dessert.”]

    / Jun 17, 2010 at 10:29 AM
  • News

    Budding White Collar Criminals: Unless You Want To Have Your Ass Thrown In Solitary Confinement, You Will Listen To Every Damn Word Jeff Skilling Has To Say

    Jeff Skilling was once president of a company that (claimed to) rake in over $100 billion annually. Now he’s had to kiss carbs good-bye (“You don’t want to get sick in here,” he said, as he talked about practicing yoga, walking four miles a day, and avoiding carbohydrate-heavy meals to stay fit) and beg reporters […]

    / Jun 14, 2010 at 12:00 PM
  • News

    Area Buffalo Woman Reveals How To Get On Obama’s Good Side

    You want him to just flush the financial reform bill down the toilet? Shut it about bonuses, unless he’s telling Main Street how deserved they are? Take note: plying him with Duff’s wings and compliments on his ass will get you far.

    / May 13, 2010 at 4:23 PM
  • News

    Do You Want To Know Why Your Co-Workers Think You’re A Weirdo?

    The scene: you’re on a coffee break up in Stamford chatting it up with a couplea the guys you work with. The topic turns to the new hot chick in the office and one guy wonders aloud what kind of panties she wears. Bob says it’s gotta be thongs. Dave says he doesn’t understand why […]

    / Apr 6, 2010 at 2:45 PM
  • News

    When Buying A Vacation Home…

    …don’t forget the two most important rules- to make sure it’s in a place your jet or chopper can access, and that you hate your family. Advice On Buying A Summer Home [WSJ]

    / Mar 30, 2010 at 5:00 PM
  • News

    Philadelphia SEC Chief Wants To Know Where You Went To Business School, And Who You Might’ve Slept With There

    Among other things. Because it’s very likely that whoever you were sharing tips with back then, you’re still giving tips to today, in the form of material non-public information, according to Daniel Hawke, who is heading up a new team out of Philly “charged with cracking down on a variety of market abuses.” Team Hawke […]

    / Feb 19, 2010 at 1:43 PM
  • News

    Tool Of The Week: What To Expect In The 15th Goldman Interview

    Earlier this week, thespian-cum-market moving BSD Shia LaBeouf offered a little piece of wisdom re: getting yourself hired at Goldman Sachs. Sayeth ShiLa: “I talked to a lot of Goldman Sachs people, and one of the requirements of getting a job takes place in the first five minutes of an interview. They take you out […]

    / Jan 29, 2010 at 3:52 PM
  • News

    Depraved Reuters Reporter Violates Stephen Schwarzman, Erin Andrews-Style

    We’ve written previously about the sick sons of bitches running the smut factory known as the Wall Street Journal. So this is the sort of thing I would expect from them, and not from Felix Salmon or the rest of the gang at Reuters but surprise! I was wrong. After the jump– I won’t put […]

    / Jan 28, 2010 at 1:56 PM
  • News

    Let’s Get You A Job

    Fox Business suggests, completely seriously, that you job seekers send video resumes to your employer of choice. While with the exception of Barclays, which only accepts CVs in this form, it might seem like a slightly unorthodox approach, we say go for it. For those unsure as to the appropriateness of a VR, or of […]

    / May 6, 2008 at 4:00 PM

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