For the young whippersnappers just getting started on Wall Street, and even for the veterans, legendary investor Julian Robertson has a lot of wisdom to impart. His sagely advice today, however, is not about how to navigate the markets, per se. It’s about pinching a penny and not letting the state of New York make you its bitch. Read more »
tips
Julian Robertson Did Not Pay A Horse-Drawn Carriage 10 G’s To Take Him Home To Long Island One Night So He Could Pay NYC Taxes
By Bess Levin
While a new study offensively suggests that no news is ever actually broken on CNBC and that those banners are just for decoration, it does offer some helpful tips: Read more »
Is there a particular co-worker you’ve been thinking would enjoy a few minutes with you on top of your desk or in the men’s room stall but were skittish about the idea of a) approaching them and b) having sex at work? Great news! According to FINS, lots of people are banging in a room just off the trading floor as we speak and they’ve got hard numbers to back it up. Use this information to make your case when offering the object of your desire two free passes to [Your Name]-ville. Read more »
UBS’s Tips On How To Succeed In Business For Russia-Based Bankers Involve Stripping, Sweating
By Bess Levin
A handbook for the bank’s trainees gives a country-by-country behavior guide. In Russia, it tells employees to be prepared to hold your drink at business engagements and to “never reject an invitation to the sauna.” [AP]
As you may have heard, speculation is mounting that New York Jets Coach Rex Ryan and his wife have starred in some foot fetish movies that can be found on the internet. In addition to forensic evidence that seems to point to the couple’s involvement in the foot appreciation flick (the woman’s resemblance to Michelle Ryan is uncanny, the voice of the guy off-screen sounds like Rex, the profile user “ihaveprettyfeet” can also be found on an online dating site where her location is the same Maryland city MR lived in when her husband was an assistant coach with the Ravens, the biographical information listed for “ihaveprettyfeet” matches that of Mrs. Ryan, as does the height differential between “ihpf” and her spouse to that of the Ryans), the fact that a Jets spokesman’s comment to the press was “This is a personal matter,” seems to indicate the Ryans may really love feet and the idea of people watching them love their feet. Think this story doesn’t impact your life? THINK AGAIN! Read more »
Holiday Party Adviser Offers Good Rules For Hermits, Those Not Looking To Better Their Situation
By Bess LevinThe most wonderful time of year is upon us– the office holiday party season. On any given night this month, scores of you will have the opportunity to spend several additional hours with people you despise and possibly rub up against them on the company dime. Today brings a list of rules under the guise of “surviving” said occasion. You should pay attention to them if a) you’ve have little to no human interaction since joining the work force or b) you have no interest in making a splash. Read more »
You’re Going To Have To Do A Lot Better Than ‘I Have A Brain Tumor’ Next Time You Fake Sick To Get Out Of Work And Go Bowling
By Bess LevinAs most of you are probably aware, some more intimately than others, nobody actually calls in sick when they’re sick. You’re coughing up a lung, you go in; sick days are reserved for pretending to be sick so you can have a day off to dick around. Time was, this would fly with employers. Sure, the time spent writing that early morning email was a bit nerve-wracking– do you list your (fake) symptoms? or is that a give away?– but in more cases than not, it worked out. Even if your boss was suspect, it would be extremely rare for he or she to call you on the lie. Today brings troubling news that those days are OVER, if guys Rick Raymond have anything to say about it. Read more »
Apparently it involves going long the US housing market. [PDF via Whitney Tilson]
As a firm with one of the most daunting interview processes on Wall Street, in which candidates may be asked to come in 30 to 100 times, Goldman Sachs is uniquely qualified to offer tips to job seekers with regard to acing the meet and greet. Which is why one might find the video “Interview Skills” video they’ve posted on their site somewhat odd. Read more »
With bonus season rapidly approaching, one must ask his/herself an important question. This year, you can be one of two people– the guy who takes whatever number is offered him or the guy who picks one out of thin air, regardless of performance, visualizes it and brings it on home. If you want the latter, you can have it. But you’re going to have to allow yourself to be coached by the experts. To that end, today FINS offers a tip on what sort of body language emboldens a person to make big bets or demands.
Subjects who kicked back and threw their feet on a desk or leaned over and planted their hands far apart on a desk for about a minute showed spikes in testosterone, a hormone that cultivates dominant behavior, muscle growth and risk tolerance. At the same time, they showed decreases in cortisol, a hormone that is released as a response to stress. The results were consistent for males and females alike. The research, which was just published in Psychological Science journal, also showed that “high-powered posers” behaved differently and made different decisions based on the hormonal shift. After the initial posing experiment, each of the 42 subjects was given $2 and the choice of gambling the money on a 50/50 chance to win $4. Some 86% of those who had just struck powerful stances took the bet, compared to 60% of the subjects who had been in weaker positions.
In this tough job market, from time to to time, as we stumble upon them, we like to offer up Do’s and Don’ts for those seeking new gigs. Little pearls of accumulated wisdom picked up in the field. The case study of Jeffrey Chiang, for example, would be a Don’t for those of you looking to improve your situation, professionally speaking. Today we have a Do, courtesy of a pioneering young fellow seeking an opportunity at a private equity firm. And it’s simply this: include head/action shots with your cover letter. Though it’s yet to catch on in fields other than the erotic service industry, including head/action shots can really give you a leg up on the competition. This guy include a head shot and and two (2) action shots of him scaling the Himalays and sailing a boat, which demonstrated a) panache b) that he has interests c) he’s perfected the The Bieber and d) a jaw line that could cut glass. He graduated from college at the age of 20, interned at Merrill Lynch and is currently studying for the Level 1 CFA but who cares about that? It’s the photos that got him in the door. And, as we’ve been informed by the firm at which he’s seeking employment, the pics were apparently impressive enough to allow the potential job-granter to overlook that fact that he “included a link to his ‘work product,’ which seems to be a jacked Wall Street Prep LBO model solution he posted as his completed model,” and he’s been granted an interview. Something for you all to think about. Read more »