The scene: you’re on a coffee break up in Stamford chatting it up with a couplea the guys you work with. The topic turns to the new hot chick in the office and one guy wonders aloud what kind of panties she wears. Bob says it’s gotta be thongs. Dave says he doesn’t understand why women wouldn’t just go commando, as thongs seem like they’d be wicked uncomfortable. It’s at this time that you say, “Actually, no, they’re not bad at all.” Everyone stares at you a second and then Dave asks slowly, “How would you know that?” Naturally you answer, “I know from personal experience of course. I wear women’s underwear.” Read more »
Philadelphia SEC Chief Wants To Know Where You Went To Business School, And Who You Might’ve Slept With ThereBy Bess Levin
Among other things. Because it’s very likely that whoever you were sharing tips with back then, you’re still giving tips to today, in the form of material non-public information, according to Daniel Hawke, who is heading up a new team out of Philly “charged with cracking down on a variety of market abuses.” Team Hawke will be conducting “trader-based investigations rather than going security by security,” and if your boy from Wharton or the Jack Welch MBA institute gave you a hot tip he wasn’t supposed to, Hawke’s gonna find out, just like he’ll know about the profit you made from the info Bambi from Beamers stuck in your ear last night.
Much of the initial detective work that Hawke’s group is doing relies heavily on computers. The team cross-checks trading data on dozens of stocks with personal information about individual traders, such as where they went to business school or where they used to work.
We’ve written previously about the sick sons of bitches running the smut factory known as the Wall Street Journal. So this is the sort of thing I would expect from them, and not from Felix Salmon or the rest of the gang at Reuters but surprise! I was wrong. After the jump– I won’t put these obscenities on the main page of an upstanding financial publication with standards and good taste– a moment between unsuspecting Steve Schwarzman and a banana is salaciously captured so perverted little voyeurs like yourself can get off at your desks.
Fox Business suggests, completely seriously, that you job seekers send video resumes to your employer of choice. While with the exception of Barclays, which only accepts CVs in this form, it might seem like a slightly unorthodox approach, we say go for it. For those unsure as to the appropriateness of a VR, or of his/her camera readiness, try doing a practice run with a submission to UBS. If it doesn’t work out, you can always be our intern.