The most wonderful time of year is upon us– the office holiday party season. On any given night this month, scores of you will have the opportunity to spend several additional hours with people you despise and possibly rub up against them on the company dime. Today brings a list of rules under the guise of “surviving” said occasion. You should pay attention to them if a) you’ve have little to no human interaction since joining the work force or b) you have no interest in making a splash. Read more »
You’re Going To Have To Do A Lot Better Than ‘I Have A Brain Tumor’ Next Time You Fake Sick To Get Out Of Work And Go BowlingBy Bess Levin
As most of you are probably aware, some more intimately than others, nobody actually calls in sick when they’re sick. You’re coughing up a lung, you go in; sick days are reserved for pretending to be sick so you can have a day off to dick around. Time was, this would fly with employers. Sure, the time spent writing that early morning email was a bit nerve-wracking– do you list your (fake) symptoms? or is that a give away?– but in more cases than not, it worked out. Even if your boss was suspect, it would be extremely rare for he or she to call you on the lie. Today brings troubling news that those days are OVER, if guys Rick Raymond have anything to say about it. Read more »
Apparently it involves going long the US housing market. [PDF via Whitney Tilson]
With bonus season rapidly approaching, one must ask his/herself an important question. This year, you can be one of two people– the guy who takes whatever number is offered him or the guy who picks one out of thin air, regardless of performance, visualizes it and brings it on home. If you want the latter, you can have it. But you’re going to have to allow yourself to be coached by the experts. To that end, today FINS offers a tip on what sort of body language emboldens a person to make big bets or demands.
Subjects who kicked back and threw their feet on a desk or leaned over and planted their hands far apart on a desk for about a minute showed spikes in testosterone, a hormone that cultivates dominant behavior, muscle growth and risk tolerance. At the same time, they showed decreases in cortisol, a hormone that is released as a response to stress. The results were consistent for males and females alike. The research, which was just published in Psychological Science journal, also showed that “high-powered posers” behaved differently and made different decisions based on the hormonal shift. After the initial posing experiment, each of the 42 subjects was given $2 and the choice of gambling the money on a 50/50 chance to win $4. Some 86% of those who had just struck powerful stances took the bet, compared to 60% of the subjects who had been in weaker positions.
In this tough job market, from time to to time, as we stumble upon them, we like to offer up Do’s and Don’ts for those seeking new gigs. Little pearls of accumulated wisdom picked up in the field. The case study of Jeffrey Chiang, for example, would be a Don’t for those of you looking to improve your situation, professionally speaking. Today we have a Do, courtesy of a pioneering young fellow seeking an opportunity at a private equity firm. And it’s simply this: include head/action shots with your cover letter. Though it’s yet to catch on in fields other than the erotic service industry, including head/action shots can really give you a leg up on the competition. This guy include a head shot and and two (2) action shots of him scaling the Himalays and sailing a boat, which demonstrated a) panache b) that he has interests c) he’s perfected the The Bieber and d) a jaw line that could cut glass. He graduated from college at the age of 20, interned at Merrill Lynch and is currently studying for the Level 1 CFA but who cares about that? It’s the photos that got him in the door. And, as we’ve been informed by the firm at which he’s seeking employment, the pics were apparently impressive enough to allow the potential job-granter to overlook that fact that he “included a link to his ‘work product,’ which seems to be a jacked Wall Street Prep LBO model solution he posted as his completed model,” and he’s been granted an interview. Something for you all to think about. Read more »
Lloyd Blankfein Invokes Little Known Clause In Employee Exit Contract In Order To Sell Upper East Side PadBy Bess Levin
Lloyd Blankfein’s housing troubles have been well-documented. Though safely ensconced at 15CPW for some time now, where nothing can hurt the billionaire and multi-millionaire residents and where no problem can’t be solved with soothing touch and a bedtime story by Sandy “4G” Weill, the li’l fella had been trying in vain to sell his 941 Park Avenue apartment for over a year. He and the wife, Laura, had originally hoped for $15 million when they listed it in June 2009, but saw no interest. They slashed it to $13.5 million and again, no bites, even after throwing in extras like Lucas van Praag serving as nanny/bartender three nights a week. What the Christ was Lloyd supposed to do? Read more »
As a Japanese equity and equity warrants sales broker for Merrill Lynch in London, Mark Jeffries usually skipped the group drinking binges where co-workers would regularly booze themselves into incoherence. “I didn’t like at the end of the day getting absolutely drunk. It just wasn’t my way,” said Jeffries. When the bottom fell out of the Japanese market, his job vaporized in the mass layoffs that followed. Jeffries went on to a career in British television and now is a communications consultant in New York, giving keynote speeches around the world. His book, “The Art of Business Seduction,” is a how-to with tips on building emotional bonds with people for business and career success. “I was definitely naive as a stock broker,” Jeffries said. “Getting drunk was the point. That was the emotional connection. I missed that. And so I missed creating a really strong emotional connection.” [FINS via DI]