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  • so it's simple, really

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    Hiring Manager Surprised About The Number Of Jobless MBA Students’ Resumes With ‘Mammoth Balls’ Listed Under Skills

    Second-year M.B.A. students at a number of schools are holding out for the perfect job, even if that means rejecting safe-bet offers and graduating into unemployment. The attitude reflects a major shift from just a couple of years ago, when business students aimed to lock in their postgraduation plans by winter break and those still […]

    / Apr 3, 2014 at 4:56 PM
  • bradydougan

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    Credit Suisse Tells Junior Employees To Go Ahead, Enjoy A Saturday On Us

    Like Bank of America, JP Morgan, and Goldman Sachs before it, Credit Suisse announced this week that analysts and associates will have some semblance of a weekend, moving forward. Unlike JP Morgan’s monthly “protected” weekend and BofA’s “take the number of UNAUTHORIZED weekend days you were previously working and cut it in half,” Credit Suisse […]

    / Jan 14, 2014 at 12:26 PM
  • theboxnyc

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    Wall Street Tired Of Stripping, Pole Dancing, Moving Toward More Highbrow Pursuits (Public Urination, Etc.)

    Time was, entertaining a client on Wall Street was a relatively straightforward affair. Invite them to dinner at a steakhouse, maybe hit up some kind of sporting event, round out the night at a strip club. It was a simpler time, of simpler tastes. In the last number of years, though, things have changed. Most […]

    / Oct 25, 2013 at 2:25 PM
  • barrysbootcamp

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    At Least One Salesperson On Wall Street Still Prefers Entertaining Clients The Good Old Fashioned Way (Taking Them To Strip Clubs In The Bronx), Thank You Very Much

    Time was, bankers ingratiated themselves to clients in an attempt to win their business by taking them out for steak dinners, offering them prime seats at sporting events, and showering them with coke and prostitutes. According to a report by Bloomberg today, though, dangling a chunk of meat in a hedge fund manager’s face no […]

    / Jul 18, 2013 at 1:27 PM
  • News

    Bill Gross Is Not The Only One Who Feels Fat

    Are your pants getting a little tight? Have you become convinced mirrors have a personal vendetta against you? Are you too distracted by the rolls spilling over your pants to trade? Do you find yourself veering off course in your letters to investors to talk about your love handles? Is it only a matter of time before you lose your firm billions and/or take down the entire market because your fingers are so big they span four keys each on the keyboard? Do you want to do something about it but are repulsed by the idea of healthy eating and exercise and also know yourself well enough to realize that there is no way you’re going to be able to stay strong if everyone around you is eating delicious fried food at lunch and sooner or later you, a usually pretty mild-mannered guy, will be leaping across a row of Bloomberg terminals and threatening to kill a coworker (and meaning it) unless he hands over Ho Ho now? Then round up your tubbiest colleagues and tell them they’re in for a real treat.

    Eric Helms, who founded the four-year-old Cooler Cleanse company with the actress Salma Hayek, says office cleansers now make up 30 percent of his business, and in the last year he has hired three customer-service employees just to handle the details of them. He said there has been a “huge increase in popularity” of cleansing with co-workers in the last year, which he credits to juice diets being more mainstream. “Everyone knows someone who’s done one, and they realize they’re a lot easier to do with colleagues during the workweek,” he said. “People want to indulge” — not sip celery — “on weekends.”

    Recent six-juice-a-day-dieters include employees at Merrill Lynch and the Carlyle Group, she said. In May, Citigroup began offering BluePrintCleanse in some of its Manhattan cafeterias, a spokeswoman said…About two-thirds of cleanse clients over all are women, but corporate cleanses “commonly skew toward men, especially traders, investment bankers and lawyers,” said Jina Wye, director of sales and marketing for BluePrintCleanse, founded in 2007 by two former Hudson Hotel bartenders looking to swap their poisons. (Mr. Helms said 90 percent of his male customers are part of groups.) Ms. Wye said: “These Type-A men have an all-or-none perspective. If they’re going to commit, they do it whole hog.” Most popular among male en masse cleansers: the Excavation cleanse, described on the Web site as “the most intense.”

    And if you want to really crank things up a notch, consider gauging interest in a group colonic to top things off.

    Cleansing From Cubicle To Cubicle [NYT]
    Related: I’m afraid I might tell her to buy a gun and just shoot me before the fat and the cellulite strike again.

    / Jul 12, 2012 at 12:48 PM
  • News

    Why Not Try: Performance Enhancing Drugs

    Perhaps you’ve just put the finishing touches on a fourth quarter letter to investors that includes lines about being “disappointed,” “clearly wrong in our judgment,” and last year being notable for being “the worst in the firm’s history,” and are freaking out about how you’re going to turn things around in 2012. Or maybe you’ve […]

    / Feb 10, 2012 at 3:29 PM
  • News

    Young, Single Guy Concludes Living On Beautiful Mediterranean Island > Stamford, CT

    Are you a Connecticut-based hedge fund employee, perhaps living and working in Stamford and unable to imagine life getting much better than that in the 06901? Well don’t get too comfortable. According to a report in the February issue of Bloomberg Markets Magazine, it’s not entirely out of the realm of possibility that your bosses […]

    / Jan 5, 2012 at 2:44 PM
  • News

    Financial Services Employees And Hipsters To Live Together In Harmony?

    Max Libre co-founder and Gregg Lippmann wingman Jordan Milman has plunked down a couple million to venture into uncharted territory. Williamsburg.

    / Jun 15, 2011 at 3:28 PM
  • News

    Financial Services Employee Refuses To Accept Double Standard That Men Can’t Spruce Up Their Appearance With Plastic Surgery Like Women

    Looked in the mirror lately? If you’re a man of a certain age it’s quite possible you were repulsed by what you saw. Those bags under your eyes. Those wrinkles. Those 4 necks where only one should be. And dear god we’re not even going to touch on the breasts you’ve sprouted. The longer you […]

    / May 24, 2011 at 11:59 AM
  • News

    Hedge Funds Crowding The Ping Pong Trade

    Earlier this week, we took a serious look at a sport beloved to a certain hedge fund in Stamford, CT: ping pong. Second only to trading and hunting humans, p-pong is the pastime that is often cited internally as the secret to this firm’s success, the practice of which has made what started out as […]

    / May 5, 2011 at 3:43 PM
  • News

    Rebellion Research Manager Recognized For His Trend-Setting Love Of Tea-Bagging

    You know what’s so fucking hot right now? Tea. You know how we know that? Because the Post has deemed it so. And you know how they know that? At least one person drinks it in mass quantities– legendary hedge fund manager Spencer Greenberg. Greenberg, you may recall, is the 27 year-old co-founder of Rebellion […]

    / Feb 2, 2011 at 1:30 PM
  • News

    Veteran Wall Street Exec Recommends You Slap On Some Make-Up

    A show of hands– how many of you think your male colleagues wear make-up? You were going to say “none,” right? Wrong, RuPaul. Statistically speaking, probably one-half to a third of your work pals are wearing some sort of lacquer right now, be it a little lip gloss or some bronzer and that doesn’t even […]

    / Sep 2, 2010 at 11:30 AM

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