Turkey

Option A: shut the hell up. Option B: spend time in prison. Read more »

  • 23 Nov 2011 at 10:47 AM

Black Widow Still Making A Mockery Of Wall Street

Remember Sonya Thomas, AKA The Black Widow? For those who need a refresher, Thomas, dubbed the BW because she “often beats male competitors in eating contests” and maybe also killed a man in cold blood for stealing her lunch, housed 183 chicken wings in 12 minutes last September to take home first place in the 10th annual National Buffalo Wings Festival. When asked by a reporter if she was worried about any potential competitors, like some financial services employees who dabble in tests of gastrointestinal fortitude, she responded, “No, nobody can do it. What I do takes special skill. Talent.” And In fact, she said, “I’ll bet you a million dollars you can’t beat me.” We thought maybe someone would accept the challenge but apparently the Widow’s track record, which includes titles for cheesecake, (11 pounds in 9 minutes), crab cakes (46 in 10 minutes), Maine Lobsters (44 in 12 minutes), oysters (46 dozen 10 minutes), hard boiled eggs (65 in 6 minutes, 40 seconds), and jalapeños (251 in 9 minutes), left people cowering in the shadows. While the offer still stands, Thomas added another notch to the old belt, having beat a ten pound turkey into submission. Read more »

Turkey’s finance minister, Mehmet Simsek, publicly threw his hat into the ring Tuesday, declaring: “I don’t have even the tiniest shortage in terms of experience or knowledge.” [NYT]