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[via Gawker]

Related: Don’t Delete That Black Friday Jacuzzi F*ckfest Evite From Nourel Roubini Just Yet

  • 25 Nov 2014 at 5:38 PM

“Cliff Asness Or Teenage Twitter Rant?”

Cliff Asness by Kieron Black
If you’re killing time at the office, working on Turkey Day, or are looking for a fun interactive game for the family to play Thursday night after dinner, test your knowledge of Asnessisms with this quiz brought to you by Hedge Fund Intelligence. Or simply appreciate the above rendering of Clifford in his bedroom, by HFI artist Kieron Black. [Hedge Fund Intelligence, related]

Who?If George Soros, whose fund threw Gross a couple of nickels earlier this week, had any doubts about his investment with the former Pimco CEO, they have been assuaged. Not only has Gross pledged his undying stewardship of Soros’s capital but he’s promised to watch over the money 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, no matter what. Should Soros have any questions, any questions at all, he should feel free, nay, encouraged to give Bill a call, day or night (obviously it goes without saying that Gross has assigned him a special ringtone and programmed Soros’s number to ring through regardless of any Do Not Disturb settings). Read more »

Charlie GasparinoEarlier today, Fox Business revealed a new print campaign it’s running, which takes the network’s previous tagline for reporter Charlie Gasparino– “Charlie Breaks It”– and adds “Others Follow.” The suggestion here is that Mr. Gasparino beats all other outlets on Wall Street’s biggest stories and at least competitor with a social media presence didn’t appreciate the insinuation: CNBC’s Ron Insana. So he did what anyone living in these times does when he or she believes something wrong is happening: took to Twitter. Here’s what Insana had to say:

Screen Shot 2014-11-07 at 4.31.01 PM

As those of you familiar with Charles’s temperament and commitment to fact checking might have guessed, that statement didn’t fly. Naturally, instead of responding with a single strand of 140 characters, Gasparino unleashed a torrent of Tweets that would make a Word of the Day calendar quiver. Let’s take a look. Read more »

  • 24 Sep 2014 at 2:09 PM

Any Guesses? (UPDATE)


[via @cgasparino]

The situation is fluid. We’ll keep you posted.

Update: It involved sleeping in a pod on the sidewalk and taking a fairly gruff tone with the inventor of said pod. For future reference, Gasparino is not impressed with fancy looking sleeping devices. All this man of simple tastes requires is a place where he can take a three hour nap and rejuve for the gym. Read more »

Just kidding, he actually thinks the entire operation is a joke and went on CNBC to say as much, where he noted that the only conceivable way he could see the company turning things around would be if literally everyone working for it was fired. Read more »

Are Charlie Gasparino’s tweets at the general public getting in the way of your tracking who Carl Icahn is dining with this week, but don’t want him to know you’re silencing them? The programmers are here to help. Read more »