Vikram Pandit

  • News

    Vikram Pandit’s Biggest Mistake At Citi Was Taking The Job In The First Place

    Just kidding, he claims! Count Vikula spoke at a “fireside chat” at Harvard Business School yesterday, and courtesy of a Dealbreaker reader in attendance, we’ve got some highlights. When asked about his biggest mistakes, he first offered the crowd-pleasing, “Taking this job and then staying in it,” to much laughter. Then he remembered he wasn’t […]

    / Apr 23, 2009 at 9:03 AM
  • News

    It Is Lucky For Ken Lewis He Doesn’t Live In France

    They have no sense of humor when you try to mess with the much weakened 35 hour work week, or when you hint that they might not even get paid for that. But even against this backdrop, nothing is more acute than the French hatred of authority. True, they haven’t revived beheading, yet, but I […]

    / Apr 7, 2009 at 10:25 AM
  • News

    You Missed Your Excuse To Be In Beautiful London In March

    ex⋅pert /n., v. ˈɛkspɜrt; adj. ˈɛkspɜrt, ɪkˈspɜrt/ [n., v. ek-spurt; adj. ek-spurt, ik-spurt] -noun 1. a person who has special skill or knowledge in some particular field; specialist; authority: a language expert. Synonyms: 1. connoisseur, master. 3. experienced, proficient, dexterous. See skillful. Antonyms: 3. unskillful. Date: Thursday 5 March 2009 Time: 1-2pm Venue: Sheikh Zayed […]

    / Mar 5, 2009 at 1:44 PM
  • News

    Vikram Pandit Mistakenly Given Credit For Joke Of A Tagline

    I don’t know Citi’s Chief Administrative Officer Don Callahan very well and don’t think I want to. Those intimately familiar with the Don might take issue with this and argue that he’s a good guy but would a good guy perpetrate the following outrageous offense on elfin ball of love Vikram Pandit? I think not. […]

    / Sep 8, 2008 at 3:56 PM
  • News

    Citi Really Hunkering Down And Giving This Thing A Shot

    Big important changes at Citi today! A few people have been appointed to Subcommittees of the Audit Committee and the executive committee, which never met and had few responsibilities beyond setting out leaf cookies, is being disbanded. Now, I know what you’re going to say–deck chairs on the Slocum, etc. Wrong. Insiders tell Dealbreaker that […]

    / Aug 25, 2008 at 2:15 PM
  • News

    Citi To Stay Inefficiently, Unprofitably Huge

    For those of you losing sleep over the thought of shrinkage at the house of Citi, DO NOT FEAR: despite calls by persons with a clue, the great big behemoth wants you to know that’s never going to happen. On a conference call yesterday, chief financial officer Gary Crittenden told analysts– worried that this last […]

    / Jul 24, 2008 at 9:36 AM
  • News

    Hiring Freeze At Citi?

    Supposedly Citi has instituted a “full” hiring freeze. Sort of makes sense, if they were hoping to not just break even after the recent (and ongoing!) firings, but sad nonetheless for those hoping this would be the year they’d make it to Panditville. No word on how this will effect summers’ offers.

    / Jul 10, 2008 at 9:33 AM
  • News

    Citi To Score Board Member With Financial Acumen

    Barring any last minute violent protests from certain shareholders (Alwaleed) who’ve gotten comfortable with a precipitously falling stock price, Citi is reportedly thisclose to announcing that Harvard Business School dean Jay O. Light will join its board. Though his expertise would be a sharp departure from that which has guided big C of late, the […]

    / Jul 9, 2008 at 10:49 AM
  • News

    Vikram Pandit: “We can make Citi the best company in the world, bar none.”

    Citi CEO Vikram Pandit sent out a memo congratulating the troops on completing the second quarter last night; not successfully, per se, just in general. I’m paraphrasing but something like “It’s June 30 and we’re still here,” which you have to admit is an accomplishment worth highlighting. He then went on note that while big […]

    / Jun 30, 2008 at 10:10 AM
  • News

    Veiled Threat From A Soon-To-Be Former CEO, Part II

    Earlier this week, Angelo Mozilo told Countrywide shareholders that Bank of America will “reap the benefits of what we have sowed.” At the time, this was the greatest veiled threat we had ever heard. This morning, Citi CEO Vikram Pandit one-upped His Orangeness. And just to make sure everyone saw it (the one-upping of Moz […]

    / Jun 27, 2008 at 3:05 PM
  • News

    Credit Where Credit Is Due: Mayo Was Technically The First To Defecate All Over Citi

    We’re all for unrelenting mockery of the Citi that never sleeps. That much should be obvious. But can we get a ruling on how much longer the story about Dollar Dominatrix Meredith Whitney downgrading the C in October is allowed to be discussed before we move on to more recent anecdotal evidence of the ‘group […]

    / Jun 25, 2008 at 3:05 PM
  • News

    Citigroup Treading On Thin Ice With Punk Analyst

    Citigroup has just learned that hell hath no fury like a chafed Dick. Yesterday, CFO Gary Crittenden popped in on a little gathering run by Deutsche Bank’s Mike Mayo. While breaking bread and shooting the shit with a couple of buy-siders, Crittenden casually mentioned that the banking behemoth (gettin’ smaller every day though!) would probably […]

    / Jun 20, 2008 at 10:45 AM
  • News

    Retract Prior Bullish Guidance, Revision To Outlook Forthcoming

    “Every institution has the right to lose all their money if they want to,” said Vikram Pandit, the chief executive of Citigroup. We take this as tacit acknowledgment of our bottom call earlier today, which was apparently premature. Can Banking Shake The Crisis [Forbes]

    / Jun 10, 2008 at 6:24 PM
  • News

    BACK. IN. THE. GAME.

    Oh hell fuck yeah! Hold on to your motherfucking hats. Are you ready for this? Are you ready this one? Are you ready for the noise? Are you ready for the thunda? Citi has switched over its screensavers to reflect the new motto. Share price soon to follow. I am calling this bear market shit […]

    / Jun 10, 2008 at 3:13 PM
  • News

    Meredith Whitney Is Not Well

    We suggested last week that Oppenheimer analyst and erstwhile Citi hater Meredith Whitney had grown tired of Panditville. Her last report, in which she concluded, “We wish [Citi’s] management team all the best in their ambitious endeavors, but we fear [it] is past the point of fixing,” seemed to imply that her interest in relentlessly […]

    / May 20, 2008 at 12:00 PM
  • News

    Nothing Can Bring This Man Down

    Hedge fund gone belly up? Firm bleeding red ink out of every orifice with no end in sight? Haven’t slept in days? Apartment you bought from Tony Randall just not feeling like home, owing in part to a lack of “Odd Couple” memorabilia? (You were promised a lock of Jack Klugman’s hair!) IT’S ALL GOOD.

    / May 16, 2008 at 10:42 AM
  • Citigroup, video

    Citi Never Sleeps: The Ad Campaign

    When we learned this morning that Citi CEO Vikram Pandit had announced at 5:03 this morning that the financial giant was adopting “Citi Never Sleeps” as its new company motto, we immediately began anticipating the new advertising campaign that Citi will doubtlessly unveil. And then we decided we couldn’t wait for Citi. Pandit’s got a […]

    / May 7, 2008 at 3:15 PM
  • The How to Think About Series

    How To Think About The New Citi Slogan

    A lot of you have been wondering if C’s new slogan, “Citi Never Sleeps” is for real. It is. I know it’s a stretch to ask a rational human being to accept, but stay with me, ‘cause it’s all about to make sense. Sources tell DealBreaker (enough with the anonymity, talkin’ Jimmy Cayne here, informant […]

    / May 7, 2008 at 11:44 AM
  • Citigroup

    Citi Makes Insomnia Its Motto

    Just yesterday we were learning that Vikram Pandit was concentrated on the small things rather than vision. But in the wee hours of the morning he sent out an email showing that he’s totally changed his mind. Now he’s on to real big things—like company slogans! At Citi, insomnia isn’t just a chronic problem for […]

    / May 7, 2008 at 11:36 AM
  • News

    Citi Absolutely Not Kidding Around Anymore

    Citi CEO Vikram Pandit just sent out the following memo re: change in tagline to all employees. I like it because it shows he’s really taking a stab at turning the diversified whorehouse into a profitable company, though, in all objective sincerity, if he really wanted to make this thing work, he would’ve gone with […]

    / May 7, 2008 at 10:00 AM
  • Citigroup

    Is Citi’s CEO Playing Blind Man’s Bluff?

    Our eyes tend to start reading when we hear a business leader start talking about “vision.” It’s a term that has been over-used to the point where it is all-but meaningless. The little wall-hanging plaque describing your corporate vision belongs in the circular file with your mission statement. So it was a bit of relief […]

    / May 6, 2008 at 12:25 PM
  • Citigroup

    Citi Finding Innovative Ways To Further Demoralize Employees

    Citigroup, fighting to keep its title as one of Wall Street’s most innovative investment banks when it comes to demoralizing employees, has begun charging lower-level employees to use the investment bank’s box seats at sporting events, the Wall Street Journal’s David Enrich is reporting. Top executives, of course, still get to enjoy the perk gratis. […]

    / May 6, 2008 at 10:55 AM
  • News

    How To Think About The Zoe Cruz Ousting, Part II: Vikram and His Voodoo

    Those who’ve been paying attention will recall that we love us some Vikram Pandit. He, of that happy, gay, elfin visage; he, of that infectiously intoxicating laughter/unbridled joy even in the face of phenomenal failure; he of that smile that can only say “Christmas in Bombay.” We love him so much that we bought into […]

    / Apr 28, 2008 at 4:10 PM
  • News

    The Age Old Question

    Fortune has an incredibly insensitive article today asking “Can anyone run Citigroup?”, the implication being that CEO Vikram Pandit can’t. We’re willing to hear arguments that run counter to our belief that with Vikram in charge, Citi is not only “too big to fail” but, as one commenter so brilliantly put it, “too happy to […]

    / Apr 21, 2008 at 3:07 PM
  • News

    In Other News, Citi Plans to Rename Its Quarterly Conference Call With Analysts to ‘Lil’ Vik’s Happy Talk’

    Most people (or at least those who study hedge funds as closely as I do, which is to say “HF Experts”) agree that Old Lane has been among the most disappointing shops (“non blow up” category) in recent memory. So this should come as no shock: Particularly embarrassing for new CEO Vikram Pandit—whose firm has […]

    / Apr 18, 2008 at 1:08 PM
  • The How to Think About Series

    How To Think About How Phenomenally Failing Citi Is Still A (Sacred) Cash Cow

    The billions upon billions of dollars that Citi wrote down under the umbrella of “stuff we fucked up on” today (and the resulting “negative revenue” of $5.1 billion) shouldn’t give investors the confidence that C has the vaguest notion of what it’s doing. And yet, the bank’s stock is up almost seven percent. There is […]

    / Apr 18, 2008 at 11:35 AM
  • Ben Bernanke

    Where Was Chuck Prince’s Freshman Year Econ Prof When We Needed Him?

    Though conventional wisdom states that nothing or no one will ever be able to whip the diversified whorehouse that is Citi into something resembling a profitable company, at least one person willing to go on record believes Vikram Pandit “has the smarts” to do just that. We’re speaking, of course, Pandit’s finance professor from grad […]

    / Apr 17, 2008 at 2:07 PM

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