wait what?

Not sure how many people here know this, but there’s an old saying that when one is running on Ponzi scheme, one needs total focus. It’s a lot of work defrauding investors and while some activities by your staff are tolerable (smoking weed in every corner of the office, as well as the parking garage and the courtyard out back and having sex with prostitutes on the desk), a line must be drawn at those which create unacceptable distractions, like dealing said pot and purveying said prosties. If that doesn’t make any sense or you’re confused at the finely drawn distinction, perhaps convicted Ponzster Scott Rothstein, who was deposed on the matter today, can shed some light. Read more »

  • 20 May 2011 at 12:08 PM

Cliff Asness Has A Suggestion For President Obama

Date: May 20, 2011 8:58 AM
Subject: A Modest Proposal Back at President Obama

Read more »

Defenders of Goldman have been quick to insist that while the bank may have had a few ethical slips here and there, its only real offense was being too good at making money. We now know, unequivocally, that this is bullshit. Goldman isn’t a pudgy housewife who broke her diet with a few Nilla Wafers between meals — it’s an advanced-stage, 1,100-pound medical emergency who hasn’t left his apartment in six years, and is found by paramedics buried up to his eyes in cupcake wrappers and pizza boxes. [Rolling Stone]

“We started out with 37 stocks, we’re down to 14,” defense attorney John Dowd said today after his client was found guilty on 9 counts of insider trading and 5 counts of conspiracy. “The score is 23 to 14 for the defense. We’ll see you in the Second Circuit.” Read more »

Earlier this morning, Jim Paulsen popped by the Squawk Box set (via phone) for a chat about the death of Osama bin Laden. What does it all mean? According to Paulsen, what the US did told the world, “Hey world, we’ve got balls.” Killing OBL should do more to get the confidence back in the markets that was obliterated during the financial crisis than things like “repairing our balance sheets.” Read more »

Instead, the self-described “mathematics genius” and “smartest student ever in the engineering department” took a moment to tell the bank representative who’d informed him they weren’t interested a piece of his mind.

From: [redacted]
Sent: Monday, February 14, 2011 11:55 AM
To: [redacted at Citi]
Subject: Re: Citi Sales, Trading & Quantitative Analysis Summer Analyst Program

Hi [redacted]:

Thank you so much for replying my email!!

Ah, what a pity that I missed one of the most prestigious bank in the world, and what a pity citi-group missed a mathematics genius like me, the smartest student ever in the engineering department, the one who beaten math majors in the most difficult competition in the world like idiots, and the one who astutely points out the mars existing in the Gaussian Copula and made proper corrections on it!! [Redacted]’s stupidity can surely not appreciate my conspicuously superior intellectuality. Woe to the fatuous decision, yet I humbly accpet!

Best luck with citi-bank, and I sincerely hope the trading can still flourish with those incompetent workers, with those preposterous foreclosures and ludicrous CDOs, with those avaricious vampires drying the blood of tens of thousands of poor languishing in loans and poverty! Woe!

Read more »