warnings

  • bill_gross_mustache3

    News

    Janus Warns Shareholders On Effects Of Hurricane Bill

    Luring the Triple Crown of Newport Beach to Denver comes at a cost.

    / Oct 23, 2014 at 5:54 PM
  • turney duff

    News

    Ex-Trader Who Faked His Own Mugging To Get Out Of Work Offers Career Advice

    Turney Duff is a former Galleon trader turned memoirist, who wrote about “drug-fueled benders,” feelings of emptiness, and the time he “faked a mugging by rolling on the pavement and into a puddle until he was bleeding and bruised” as an excuse for missing work one day in “The Buy Side.” It seems unlikely that […]

    / Jun 18, 2014 at 12:51 PM
  • Screen Shot 2014-04-22 at 5.21.01 PM

  • thingsthatarealotlikeaminimumsecurityprison

    News

    No Amount Of Money Worth Living Here, Puerto Rico Resident Tells John Paulson

    The U.S. territory’s leaders are seeking to lure mainland residents such as hedge-fund billionaire John Paulson. Moving to Puerto Rico could allow Paulson and other top-earning taxpayers to shield future income from the Internal Revenue Service without giving up their passports…Even with potential tax advantages, Paulson and others considering a move to Puerto Rico should […]

    / Mar 14, 2013 at 1:54 PM
  • Richard Handler

    News

    Moody’s Attempts To Ruin Dick Handler’s Good Time

    Until recently, being chief executive officer of Jefferies was an exercise in getting shit on. As the man in charge for the last 13 years, Richard Handler has had to put up with a lot of hurtful remarks that, while nothing to the person tossing them off, undoubtedly stung quite badly. “Third-tier bank.” Place “I wouldn’t let my maid’s kid work.” “Poor man’s Morgan Keegan.” So you can imagine that after a string of victories over the last several months that included getting involved in the slaughterhouse business and paying all-cash bonuses unlike some people, Handler and Co. would be feeling pretty good about themselves and that after announcing to the world they were getting paid more this year than their counterparts at big kid banks, they’d be feeling REALLY good about themselves. That payday, however, did not go over well when input into Moody’s proprietary just-make-it-up credit-rating model, and now Handler’s plan to gather everyone up to watch as the board shoots his compensation out of a tee-shirt gun in hundred dollar bills is completely ruined.

    / Feb 4, 2013 at 2:25 PM
  • News

    Irrelevant Entity DOES NOT Want to See 2011-Style Dicking Around on the Debt Ceiling

    Fitch Ratings is showing the U.S. some tough love.

    / Jan 16, 2013 at 5:51 PM
  • john-paulson_82845s

    News

    Morgan Stanley Suggests Paulson And Co ‘Advantage’ Investors Pull Their Money And Run

    They were willing to ‘em a chance, but no more.

    / Dec 19, 2012 at 5:08 PM
  • mike_mayo

    News

    Mike Mayo Is Done Waiting For Everyone Around Him To Do Their Jobs

    Because he’s had some previous success putting bankers on deadlines for complying with his demands and because he has had it up to here with financial regulators and the companies they supervise, both of which have been dragging their heels since Dodd-Frank was passed, CLSA analyst Mike Mayo appeared on CNBC today to issue a message: The time for thumb twiddling is over. Move your asses, NOW, or he’ll move them for you.

    Regulators need to write new financial services rules and banks need to get back to banking, CLSA analyst Mike Mayo told CNBC’s Squawk on the Street. “It’s been two years since Dodd-Frank was passed,” Mayo said. “If you’re the regulators, get these laws written, if you’re the banks, at some point you have to play the ball where it lies. You need to get back to the business of banking.” Mayo said there should be “no more excuses.”

    Everyone understand or does he need to enunciate? Yes? Okay: play the ball where it lies, you useless cocksuckers! If it’s in the water, roll your fucking khakis up and do something useful for once in your pathetic fucking lives.

    ‘No More Excuses’ from Banks or Regulators: Analyst [CNBC]
    Related: Mike Mayo Suggests Citi Chair Dick Parsons Be Gone In A Fortnight, Or Else

    / Nov 8, 2012 at 6:10 PM
  • News

    Small-Time Crooks No Longer Welcome At Wells Fargo, Bank Of America

    Richard Eggers knows what we’re talking about.

    The former farm boy speaks deliberately, can’t remember the last time he got a speeding ticket, and favors suspenders, horn-rimmed glasses and plaid shirts. But the 68-year-old Vietnam veteran is still too risky for Wells Fargo Home Mortgage, which fired him on July 12 from his $29,795-a-year job as a customer service representative. Egger’s crime? Putting a cardboard cutout of a dime in a washing machine in Carlisle on Feb. 2, 1963. “It was a stupid stunt and I’m not real proud of it, but to fire somebody for something like this after seven good years of employment is a dirty trick when you come right down to it,” said Eggers of Des Moines. “And they’re doing this kind of thing all across the country.”

    Big banks have been firing low-level employees like Eggers since the issuance of new federal banking employment guidelines in May 2011 and new mortgage employment guidelines in February. The tougher standards are meant to weed out executives and mid-level bank employees guilty of transactional crimes, like identity fraud or mortgage fraud, but they are being applied across-the-board thanks to $1-million-a day fines for noncompliance…Bank of America has embarked on a similar firing binge to shed any employee convicted of a criminal offense involving dishonesty, breach of trust or money laundering, employment attorneys say.

    Wells Fargo fires Des Moines worker for laundromat incident 49 years ago [DMR]

    / Aug 29, 2012 at 3:40 PM
  • News

    Meredith Whitney Adds 10 New States To Her Sh*t List

    MDubs has issued a new state budget and debt report and Arizona, Nevada, Connecticut, Wisconsin? Might want to run. (Also, re last year’s prediction on muni bond defaults- she was just ball-parking, no one should’ve taken those numbers at face value.)

    / Jun 6, 2011 at 2:54 PM
  • News

    Do Not Be Alarmed By The Traveling Band Of Sachsians

    Lloyd’s just taking them out for some celebratory Jägerbombs (under the guise of a drill). Journalists, feel free to take this as a sign a settlement with the SEC is imminent. Please be advised that today from 4:30 pm – 5:30 pm – Goldman, Sachs & Company will be conducting an evacuation drill from 200 […]

    / Jun 3, 2010 at 4:28 PM
  • News

    Gird Your Loins, Jim Chanos

    This Memorial Day in Bridgehampton, Kynikos founder Jim Chanos will be honored for his contributions to Miracle House, a charity “a charity that helps caregivers and patients who come to New York in search of medical treatment.” This is lovely and Jim is very generous. That’s not what we’re here to talk about. What we’re […]

    / May 18, 2010 at 4:40 PM

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