• whale diagram


    JPMorgan Dissects A Whale Carcass

    How should one read JPMorgan’s Whale Report? I suppose “not” is an acceptable answer; the […]

    / Jan 16, 2013 at 1:41 PM
  • Okay let's make that ... rock wall ... thing ... taller.


    Regulators Close Aquarium Door Behind Escaped Whale

    Once upon a time there was a whale, and he had a synthetic credit portfolio, […]

    / Jan 14, 2013 at 6:33 PM
  • This probably overstates the forcefulness of his return.

    Banks, News

    London Whale Swims Off Into The Sunset

    Hi Whale! I told you you were not forgotten. Not understood, either, but not forgotten. […]

    / Oct 12, 2012 at 5:05 PM
  • Ina Drew


    Ina Drew Spent Her Whole Life Preparing To Construct A Poorly Correlated Credit Macro Hedge

    You’ve all peered into Ina Drew’s soul by now, right? My basic reaction was, “she […]

    / Oct 3, 2012 at 7:47 PM


    The CDX And The Whale

    The OCC report on bank derivative activities is rarely what you would call a laugh […]

    / Sep 21, 2012 at 1:29 PM


    You Misplace 5 Or 6 Billion Dollars And All Of A Sudden People Stop Trusting You To Keep Track Of Your Money

    When JPMorgan’s whale drowned a lot of people asked “where were the regulators?” and that […]

    / Aug 10, 2012 at 2:25 PM
  • it's not over 'til it's over

    JPMorgan Whale Isn’t Finished Here

    JPMorgan’s chief investment office has lost $5.8 billion on the trades so far, and that […]

    / Jul 13, 2012 at 1:12 PM
  • News

    Whaledemort’s Soul, Portfolio Broken Up And Hidden In JPMorgan Investment Bank

    Who wins the call-the-Whale-close? The headline number is a $4.4 billion loss this quarter but […]

    / Jul 13, 2012 at 8:38 AM
  • News

    Call The JPMorgan (Whale Loss) Close (Updated)

    Did Bruno Iksil make the bank -$2 billion? -$9 billion? -$20 billion? Was this all just a hoax and he actually didn’t lose any money at all? JPMorgan will let us know tomorrow at 7AM.

    Standard Price Is Right rules, closest without going over. Guesses in by 4PM today. Winner will receive his or her choice of a visit from the sandwich fairy, a highly coveted whale bath toy, or an I heart Dealbreaker button.

    / Jul 12, 2012 at 1:21 PM
  • News

    A Company Is In The Hole For $182 Billion, Hank Greenberg Can See The Merit In A Congressional Hearing But $2-9BN? Beat It

    “Many companies have transactions that go bad,” Greenberg said today on “In the Loop With […]

    / Jul 9, 2012 at 6:39 PM
  • News

    Analysts Attempt To Call The JPMorgan (Second Quarter) Close

    Despite Jamie Dimon’s promise that JPMorgan will be “solidly profitable” for the quarter, some are skeptical given the growing estimates of Whale-boy’s losses. According Mike Mayo, the bank “will only make $727 million…including $4 billion of losses in the unit that made the bungled bet [though] if the losses exceed $5 billion, JPMorgan could make an overall loss.” Barclays’ Jason Goldberg thinks things are gonna be okay here, and sees the bank making $3.3 billion, assuming you know who will have only lost it $3 billion when all is said and done. And yourselves?

    Start considering your predictions now, as come July 13, there will be a visit from the Sandwich Fairy and a coveted bath toy for whoever comes closest without going over.

    Will The Whale Swallow JPMorgan’s Second-Quarter Earnings [Dealbook]

    / Jun 29, 2012 at 3:26 PM
  • News

    JPMorgan Expanding Risk Team After You Know Who Ruined Things For The Whole Class

    J.P. Morgan has added at least five new employees over the past month to the […]

    / Jun 28, 2012 at 1:09 PM
  • News

    Boaz Weinstein Finished Having His Way With Big Fish

    Saba Capital Management’s Boaz Weinstein recently exited a now famous and profitable credit derivative bet […]

    / Jun 26, 2012 at 5:02 PM
  • Come at me, Maxine.


    Jamie Dimon Chats About Managing Duration Risk With Friendly Congressman

    The House’s ping-ponging alternation of smacking and caressing Jamie Dimon today got pretty boring but […]

    / Jun 19, 2012 at 3:22 PM
  • JPMorgan Flogging

    Representative Carolyn Maloney: Why Didn’t You Lose Billions Of Dollars In New York? What’s London Got That We Don’t?

    “Mr. Dimon, I thought you loved New York. Why did all this activity take place […]

    / Jun 19, 2012 at 12:18 PM
  • JPMorgan Flogging

    So What You’re Saying Is…It’s Possible

    Congressman: “Mr. Dimon, is it possible that JPMorgan could lose $2 trillion?”

    / Jun 19, 2012 at 12:15 PM
  • News

    Meredith Whitney Not Worried About Jamie Dimon’s Ability To Handle House Financial Services Committee, Unlike Some Chief Executives She Knows

    So, 1. How dare you, lady? Lloyd’s impish smile and comedic timing don’t do it for you? And 2. We thought these kind of blows were reserved for Vikram.

    Banking Industry Must Reinvent Itself, Says Whitney [Bloomberg TV]
    Related: Meredith Whitney Cannot Stress Enough How Little She Thinks Of Citigroup

    Mr. Iksil [who sometimes wore the same clothing several days in a row] once confided to […]

    / Jun 19, 2012 at 10:06 AM
  • News

    Jamie Dimon To Be Asked Why He Was Running JPMorgan Like SeaWorld, Hopefully

    If we’re being totally honest, while it had its moments, last week’s Jamie Dimon Congressional hearing to discuss Whale Boy was a bit of a letdown, theatrically-speaking. This was probably due in large part to the fact that it was conducted by the Senate Banking Committee, and the Senate typically comes off intelligent and reasonable compared to the House,* and proceeded accordingly. As we surely don’t have to tell you, this is not the kind of hearing we are interested in.

    We are interested in hearings that involve Congressmen and women screaming “I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU HAVEN’T BEEN PROSECUTED YET!!!” at financial services employees and accusing them of dressing up as Girl Scouts in order to deceive the public. We are interested in hearings that involve the use of the term “smart-alecks.” We are interested in hearings that involve subjects being told to be more like Magic Johnson. We are interested in hearings that involve subjects who’ve never worked for Goldman Sachs being grilled until they break about working at Goldman Sachs. We are interested in hearings that involve bath salts, or the suggestion that the people conducting it have taken a bunch of them and at any moment might leap across the dais to eat the witness’s face off. Fortunately, we might get the chance for all that and more tomorrow, when Dimon makes another trip down to D.C. to appear before the House Financial Services Committee to talk whales.

    In House Testimony, Dimon Sticks To Script [Dealbook]

    *Make no mistake, most of them fell short of becoming Rhodes Scholar Quarterfinalists, but we’re speaking in relative terms here.

    / Jun 18, 2012 at 5:07 PM
  • News

    If a Whale Flaps His Flippers in London, It Causes a Tiny Increase in McDonald’s CDS Spreads

    Reuters had a neat article today about how JPMorgan’s CIO embarrassment increased credit spreads for […]

    / Jun 14, 2012 at 1:20 PM
  • Whaledemort

    The Whale and the Quants

    If you’d like some non-real-time insight into the London Whale, may I highly recommend this […]

    / Jun 13, 2012 at 11:19 AM
  • JPMorgan Flogging

    Jamie Dimon: “We Are All Blessed To Have The American Financial System”

    “It is be the best in the world.” We should give thanks and “stop shooting […]

    / Jun 13, 2012 at 11:15 AM
  • JPMorgan Flogging

    Is It Polish Craps? Is It Ukrainian Blackjack?

    Senator Bob Menendez: I listen to this [hearing] and I paraphrase Shakespeare when I ask, […]

    / Jun 13, 2012 at 11:12 AM
  • JPMorgan Flogging

    Jamie Dimon: Don’t Blame The Risk Committee!

    They took JPMorgan through the financial crisis “with flying colors.” The Whale stuff was a […]

    / Jun 13, 2012 at 10:44 AM
  • News

    Jamie Dimon: It Most Likely Won’t Happen Again

    “When we make mistakes, we take them seriously and often are our own toughest critic,” […]

    / Jun 12, 2012 at 5:14 PM
  • News

    Columbia University Students, Faculty, Alums Demand CU President Take Back All The Nice Things He Said About Jamie Dimon

    As you may have noticed, Jamie Dimon has had some unwanted attention thrown his way over the last several weeks, on account of one of his employees losing a few billion dollars. Though the JPMorgan CEO has been dealing with public displays of hate previously reserved for Lloyd Blankfein and Goldman Sachs, and will certainly be on the receiving end of a lot more tomorrow when he testifies on Capitol Hill, he has had a few people come to his (and his bank’s) defense. Yesterday Stephen Schwarzman told Bloomberg to lay off JD and JPM, noting that “occasional losses are inevitable” and “publicly excoriating JPMorgan serves no purpose except to reduce people’s confidence in the financial system,” while former Goldman exec Bill Archer said the whale fail makes him just “kind of shrug.” Lee Bollinger, who is President of Columbia and chairman of the Federal Bank of New York’s board of directors told the Journal that Dimon shouldn’t step down from his post as a director, as some have requested, and that those who cite conflicts of interest have a “false understanding of how [the Fed] works.” Some individuals from the Columbia community read Bollinger’s comment and, spoiler alert, are not happy. Enter, a strongly worded letter.

    Mr. Lee Bollinger
    President of Columbia University
    Office of the President
    202 Low Library
    535 West 116th Street, Mail Code 4309
    New York, NY 10027
    Dear President Bollinger,
    As faculty, alumni and students of Columbia University, we are writing to express our deep disappointment in your recent decision to support JPMorgan Chairman and CEO Jamie Dimon’s continued membership on the Board of the New York Federal Reserve Bank.

    As the Chairman of the Board of the New York Fed, your unambiguous duty – as stated by the Guide to Conduct – is to maintain “the integrity, dignity, and reputation of the Federal Reserve System . . . and to avoid actions that might impair the effectiveness of System operations or in any way tend to discredit the System.”

    By supporting Mr. Dimon’s tenure you abdicated this basic responsibility. By echoing Mr. Ben Bernanke’s remarks that it is up to Congress to address this problem, you denied your duty to ensure the integrity of the Fed. By stating that Congress has more pressing issues to address than this one, you, in essence, urged inaction by all parties capable of affecting this important change. Surely you understand that a functioning financial system is a pre-requisite of our country’s economic recovery. By characterizing those who wish to see Mr. Dimon resign as “foolish” and in possession of a “false understanding” of how the Fed works, you have added insult – and inaccuracy – to the injury of encouraging this institution to continue in its current form.

    It is worth reminding you that JPMorgan Chase is currently under investigation for its recent $3 billion trading loss – a loss Mr. Dimon initially denied and then characterized as a ‘tempest in a teapot.’ It may also bear repeating that Mr. Dimon has long campaigned aggressively against important regulatory reforms designed to prevent excessive risk taking by Too Big To Fail institutions – institutions the Federal Reserve saved with $3 trillion dollars in special lending facilities and which Congress bailed out with $700 billion of taxpayers’ money. Certainly Mr. Dimon has no place as a leader of this institution.

    We urge you to reverse your support for Mr. Dimon and call for his immediate resignation. By way of reminder, there is precedent for this kind of action. In April 2011, Jeffrey R. Immelt, CEO of General Electric, stepped down from the NY Fed after it was clear that GE Capital would be regulated by the Fed as a ‘systematically important’ financial institution. As one of the largest banks in the world, JP Morgan is similarly – if not more ‘systemically important.’

    As an educator, you have a special responsibility to demonstrate moral and intellectual credibility, something you have failed to do in this situation. As the president of a university, you have a responsibility to ensure that students have the best possible opportunities upon graduation. Surely you understand the connection between the unemployment crisis facing young people in America and the 2008 financial collapse. That collapse not only threatened the employment potential of millions of American students, but also risked the fiscal health of the parents and grandparents who co-signed their educational loans. That you would choose to uphold the interests of major financial institutions over students and their families is unimaginable. We certainly hope that the contributions made to Columbia by JPMorgan – sums north of $500,000 – had nothing to do with your decision.

    Three years after the biggest financial crisis since the Great Depression, the country is struggling to rebuild its economy. A stable and appropriately governed financial system is a critical pre-requisite of our recovery. As the Chairman of the NY Fed, we urge you to take the obvious step of demanding Mr. Dimon’s resignation.

    Thank you,
    Current Students, Alumni and Faculty of Columbia University
    Richard Adams
    Graduate Student and Alumnus

    Marcellus Andrews
    Professor of Economics
    Columbia University

    John Atlas
    President of the National Housing Institute Charles H. Revson Fellow, 2004

    Partha Banerjee
    J-School, 2000

    Hilary Beattie
    Asst. Clinical Professor of Medical Psychology in Psychiatry

    Carl Bettendorf
    Alumnus and Adjunct Faculty

    Lila Braine

    Dana Burnell

    Sylvia Bettendorf

    Jamie Chen
    CC Class of ’09

    Paul Colson

    Jonathan Crissman

    Mina Dadgar

    Carolyn Douglas
    Associate Professor of Psychiatry

    Nnaemeka Ekwelum
    Class of 2012

    Tim Foreman

    David Friedman

    Danielle G.

    Nancy Goody
    Alumnae -GS of Arch & HP

    Warren Green

    Robert Hanning

    William D. Hartung
    Center for International Policy
    Columbia College Class of 1978

    James Hone

    Bonnie Kaufman
    Faculty, Medical School

    Jee Kim
    Columbia College, ‘95

    Susan Lob
    Adjunct Faculty and Alumni

    Barbara Lundblad
    Union Theological Seminary

    John Markowitz
    Professor of Clinical Psychiatry,
    Alumnus College ’76, GSAS ’78, P&S ’82

    Rangi McNeil
    School of the Arts Alumni

    Sara Minard

    Federick Neuhouser
    Professor of Philosophy

    Michael Newell

    Kaveh Niazi

    Jeffrey Ordower
    Columbia College Class of 1991

    Alexandra Pines
    Class of 2016

    Ai-jen Poo
    National Domestic Workers Alliance

    Bill Ragen
    Columbia College 1980

    Yuliya Rimsky
    Columbia University
    Alumnus Class of 2012 & SIPA student Class of 2014

    Katherine Roberts
    Alumna, GSAS

    Eva Salzman

    Jeff Schneider

    Shruti Sehgal
    BC Alumnus, Class of 2011

    Eric J. Schoenberg
    Adjunct Associate Professor
    Columbia Business School

    The Honorable David Segal
    Former RI state representative
    CC ‘01

    Anat Shenker-Osorio
    Founder and Principal, ASO Communications, Columbia College ’99

    Kobi Skolnick
    Current student of Negotiation and Conflict Resolution, Class of 2013

    Jill Strauss

    Denise J. Tartaglia

    Stephanie Taylor
    Co-Founder, Progressive Change Campaign Committee, Columbia University alumni, SOA ’07

    Alan Wallach

    Mark Watson

    James Williams
    Officer Libraries

    Thomas J. Yager
    Associate Research Scientist, Mailman School of Public Health

    / Jun 12, 2012 at 5:02 PM
  • News

    Paying Bankers In Derivatives Worked Out So Well For Credit Suisse, Let’s All Do It

    BreakingViews has a couple of posts up about one of my favorite things in the […]

    / Jun 12, 2012 at 3:53 PM
  • Banks, News

    Let’s Talk About: Basel III

    The Fed last night unleashed eight zillion pages of Basel III implementation on the universe and I’m tempted to be like “open thread, tell us about your hopes and fears for capital regulation.” So do that! Or don’t because it is super boring, that is also a valid approach. Still I guess we should discuss.

    Starting slow though. Banks have to have capital, meaning that they have to fund some of their assets with things that are long-lived and loss-absorbing, like common equity, rather than with things that have to be paid back soon and at face value. The reason for this is that the rest of banks’ assets are funded with things that we really do want to be paid back soon and at face value, like deposits, and if the value of those assets declines you don’t want those deposits to be wiped out.

    The rules say that you need capital equal to a percentage of your assets. The game is deciding (1) what that percentage is, (2) what is capital (proceeds from selling common stock, and actual earnings, yes, but, like, deferred tax assets?), and (3) how you count assets (you might want more capital to shield you from losses in, say, social media stocks than you would to shield you from losses in Treasury bonds, so regulators use “risk-weighted assets,” so that $1 of corporate bonds counts as $1 of assets, $1 of Treasuries counts as $0 of assets, and $1 of Facebook stock counts as $3 of assets*).

    Anyway, here are the required capital levels:

    / Jun 8, 2012 at 1:17 PM