what is the fastest animal in the world?
Step 1: Come up with story idea, say, about how small businesses are being hurt due to the NBA lockout
Step 2: Reach out to Twitter followers, ask them to corroborate said story
Step 3: Wait.
Step 4: Practice asking Kate Upton to be your Valentine. [“Will you, Kaaa” voice cracks. “Will you, Kate Upton..” No, that’s stupid. “Kate I would be most honored if you..”]
Step 5: Daydream about how you and “Katie” will tell your families you eloped.
Step 6: Marvel at your good fortune when a guy, who in real life is a bored teenager but over the internet seems like a legit businessman, emails you to say that he runs an escort service in New York, “mostly for away team players after games but some Knicks and Nets too; they are high rollers and I’m not getting the constant business I that I need to stay running.”
Step 7: Double fist pump the air and shout “Yes, D-Rove, you got this!”
Step 8: Breathe, tell yourself to calm down and reel it in.
Step 9: Put on your reporter hat and ask “Henry James” some questions like, “How much money would say you’re losing? What cut do you then get? What is the cheapest woman and what is the most expensive woman? I assume it’s by the hour and what is the typical # of hours?”
Step 10: Make no attempt to verify source is who he says he is, that his business exists, that you’re not being taken for a ride.
Step 11: Cut, print.
How A Teenager With A Fake Escort Service Duped Darren Rovell And CNBC [Deadspin]
Related: SI Swimsuit Model Doesn’t Have To Worry About Things Getting Weird With CNBC Reporter Because He’s Known Her Since She Was 17