Remember Donna Murdoch? Her story is a bit complicated but essentially: Murdoch and her husband were hard up for some money (they owed $1.45 million on a subprime home mortgage, natch). She decided the best way to tackle the debt was to make some money trading on material non-public information. Getting the tips was easy enough– Murdoch got on AshleyMadison.com where she met an Ernst and Young partner named James Gansman who advised companies doing mergers and was more than happy to give them to her. Only problem was, Big D didn’t have the cash to trade on Gansman’s inside info, so she hopped back on to the adultery site and found another guy who could front the money. That guy was 71 year-old Richard Hansen, who gave her a job at Keystone Equities Group (where he was chairman), plus some of his penis on the side.
Both Murdoch and Hansen traded on Gansman’s tips (neither guy knew about the other, by the by) and while all three faced years in prison, only the men are doing time, on account of Murdoch screwing them yet again. Continue reading »
Jim Clark and his wife, Kristy, who's probably also pretty steamed at GSAM
For the March issue of Bloomberg Markets magazine, reporter Richard Teitelbaum explores the riddle wrapped within the squid that is Goldman Sachs Asset Management. Specifically, why investors stick with GSAM when evidence suggests they should take their money and run (GS’s funds have “badly trailed their peers over the three, five and 10 year periods ended December 31st” and yet assets under management have nearly tripled since 2000, rising an annual rate of 11.8 percent). To tackle this question, you could analyze data, talk to experts, see a palm reader or poll large groups of people familiar with the matter. Or you could save yourself a lot of time and remember that the simplest explanation is most likely the right one. And the answer to this conundrum is not just simple but brief. It can be summed up in three words, in fact, or two if you count the hyphenated one just once: Brand-name whores. Continue reading »
As we’ve discussed before, Nomura’s acquisition of Lehman’s internal operations has not gone as smoothly as everyone had hoped. The Lehman employees are being very difficult, all but refusing to submit to their new employer’s way of doing things. Particularly the women. Despite being told that short sleeves are not acceptable, as they are the clothes of whores, these Lehman ladies apparently spent the summer just absolutely slutting it up. I’m talking sleeveless tops. I’m talking silk shirts. I’m talking bright nail polish. Well no more! The summer’s over, and you’ve had your kicks. It’s time to lock it up and know what else? This goes for any of the men straddling the line between “upstanding businessman” and gigolo. And don’t give me this shit that you couldn’t understand the memo. One short sleeve, one red nail– and I mean one– and you’re gone.
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