you would be nothing without me

Back in February, Macquarie employee David Kiely got in a little trubs with his employer for looking at some topless shots of Miranda Kerr on his computer. It should’ve been no big deal but unfortunately his floor was being filmed on live TV at the time and as the Aussies couldn’t be perceived as condoning that sort of thing, they put him on a time-out. He was ultimately allowed to keep his job but probably won’t be promoted any time soon and now has to live with a 9-5 sans nudes, as his computer was most likely equipped with the child-lock. Sans tits to look at over the course of the day (the secret to many a financial services hack’s success), David is probably going through a bit of an existential funk. Well take heart, buddy boy! We have some news sure to brighten your afternoon right up and perhaps offer some JO&C material for later tonight.

“It was a huge deal,” Kerr told GQ recently over tea in New York City. “I wasn’t offended. I just felt sorry for the poor guy.” Posing near naked for a living can give you a certain perspective on such things. Kerr considers the scandalized Aussie banker with whom she’ll be forever intertwined. “I wonder if he’ll get into trouble if we send him this cover,” she asks. “We should send him a signed cover! He can read the magazine at home instead of at work on the Internet.” A brilliant idea.

You hear that, guy?! MIRANDA HASN’T FORGOTTEN YOU. In fact, SHE TALKS ABOUT YOU. TO PEOPLE. And speaking of brilliant ideas, try this one on for size. All this guy had to do to get Miranda Kerr to think about him, talk about him, feel bad for him in such a way that she might even feel like she owes the guy something was to get caught looking at pics of her on his computer. Since I am always working for you, all I’m going to say is there are shots of MK from the June issue after the jump. Do what you want with them. Read more »