Tim Sykes

  • Tim Sykes, Wall Street Warriors

    Your Employer Will Have No Problem With This

    You might have noticed, due to our lack of posts on the subject, that we couldn’t get it together to watch the second season of Wall Street Warriors. This had a lot to do with the fact that it was impossible to stuff yet another show into our already jam-packed lineup of The Wire and […]

    / Apr 15, 2008 at 4:43 PM
  • Eliot Spitzer, Tim Sykes

    Two Whores, Havin’ A Chat

    Former hedge fund manager Tim Sykes to have had a conversation (Facebook wall back and forth) with Kristen/Ashley last night. Who knows if it’s legit. We like to think it is, if only for the fact that she tells him she’d rather read thestreet.com than his site. Burn, indeed. Spitzer’s Girl “Kristen” Is Really Ashley […]

    / Mar 13, 2008 at 12:20 PM
  • Jerome Kreviel, Tim Sykes

    What Uterus In Hell

    A reader experimenting with his sadomasochistic side sent us the following two images this morning and asked, separated at birth?

    / Feb 20, 2008 at 11:17 AM
  • Hedge Funds, Tim Sykes

    Delusional And Destitute HF Manager Throws Huge Party In His Honor

    Former* hedge fund manager John Devaney, pictured here with the yacht he had to sell several months back when United Capital Markets lost a boatload (heh) of money, threw a lavish party at the Venetian in Vegas this week for a bunch of finance guys in town for the 5th annual conference of the American […]

    / Feb 8, 2008 at 2:31 PM
  • Tim Sykes

    Tim Sykes Wants You To Kill Him

    Early this morning, there was a fire in an Upper East Side apartment building. Luckily no one died and almost all of the injuries were minor, save for a fire fighter who was hospitalized and in “serious condition.” I hadn’t read or heard about what happened. Hedge fund manager Tim Sykes rectified that: CilantroFP: you […]

    / Feb 7, 2008 at 1:21 PM
  • Tim Sykes

    Utter Disappointments

    A few weeks ago we reprinted a compilation of Tim Sykes’s hate mail, which he’d forwarded to us completely altruistically besides for the request that we link to his website. There were many gems. Many ad hominem attacks. Many instances of out of the box type insults (my personal favorite: “If I fed you rat […]

    / Jan 30, 2008 at 4:05 PM
  • Tim Sykes

    Tim Sykes—Find Him Under ‘RichAssJew’ On MySpace—Says We Should Consider Ourselves Lucky He Closed His Fund, Otherwise We Never Would Have Heard About Him*, And What A Pity That Would’ve Been

    Later: More Sykes Hate Mail. Don’t act like you’re not excited. *His reasoning re: Tim Sykes not being a household name two years ago is that his fund was too small to get press on it its own and SEC rules prevented him from acting like the media whore we know and love today. Update: […]

    / Jan 25, 2008 at 11:50 AM
  • Tim Sykes

    See If You Can Guess Which Stamford-Based Shark Tamer And Obsessive Recluse Sent That Last One

    A little known secret to those outside of the DealBreaker bunker (besides how we feel about Jews, though I guess that C’s out of the B now) is that on particularly low days, when Carney doesn’t have any proxy access articles to write about, and I’ve been forbidden from posting Always Been Cobbling again (not […]

    / Jan 3, 2008 at 12:53 PM
  • Tim Sykes

    TIM Founder Tim Sykes Lets The Words Out

    You know how we said the other day that we’re starting to love Fox Business because of the so-horrifically-bad-it’s-good thing it’s got going on? Yeah, that’s not what’s happening here.

    / Nov 20, 2007 at 2:14 PM
  • Merrill Lynch, Tim Sykes

    Speaking Of People Who Were Passed Up For The Merrill Job

    Tim Sykes’s new “hedge fund,” Transparent Investment Management, lost $28 dollars yesterday, and is up $1,635 (13.71 percent) to $14,050 since its inception, nine days ago. TIM’s founder Tim would also like to you to note that he’s devoting fifteen hours a day to the market, another 4 to answering e-mails, and the remaining five […]

    / Nov 15, 2007 at 2:33 PM
  • Tim Sykes

    Sending Out An SOS

    Hey guys, We realize this is kind of last minute, not very well thought out, and a lot to ask of the 20% of you who are still employed and have more important things to do today, but you’ve always said that if we ever found ourselves in trouble and had nowhere else to turn, […]

    / Oct 31, 2007 at 11:59 AM
  • Tim Sykes, You people have the resources

    Unhappy With The Tim Sykes Coverage? Do Something About It

    Several death threats have even been sent to Timothy’s EliteTrader account and Trader Monthly magazine has come out in support of these disgruntled traders. In fact, Trader Monthly’s president told us that Tim is “a burnt out trader with no practical skill.” When Hedge Funnies asked why he should be put to death for this […]

    / Oct 23, 2007 at 12:01 PM
  • Tim Sykes

    Tim Sykes Is No Gardener

    Is there a better to herald in Black Monday than with a Tim Sykes cover story? ‘Young Money’ says ‘No.’ The magazine’s October/November issue, which hits newsstands next week but is available online today, carries an almost-1,000 word feature on America’s most famous Bar-Mitzvah boy. It is spectacular, and almost makes you think that were […]

    / Oct 22, 2007 at 3:32 PM
  • Tim Sykes

    Tim Sykes forwarded this our way with the note, “finally, an article in which I sound intelligent.” You be the judge.

    On business being fun: “Business is fun. Business is awesome,” said Sykes, who brought female models onto CNBC in April to hold up stock charts during a contest show. On giving credit where credit’s due: “I would like to thank the thousands of inept corporate management teams, shady brokers, boiler rooms, pump and dumpers, stock […]

    / Oct 2, 2007 at 1:42 PM
  • Tim Sykes


    Do you feel that? A lessening in the strength of the evil being the surrounds us all and plagues this website with unfortunate regularity? That’s because, and this is basically just a formality at this point, hedge fund manager (and self-described) guru Tim Sykes has officially shuttered his day trading operation, Cilantro Fund Partners, LP, […]

    / Oct 1, 2007 at 3:00 PM
  • Tim Sykes

    See If You Can Guess What This Next One’s About

    Tim Sykes has chosen to respond to Trader Monthly’s response from earlier today, re: them not letting him come to their party. We have nothing else to add. Let’s just all stand back and let the two parties destroy each other, like the Sunnis and Shiites, Betty and Veronica. That’s what you want anyway, isn’t […]

    / Sep 21, 2007 at 3:38 PM
  • Tim Sykes, traders

    “30 Under 30” Imbroglio Continues

    A representative from the “Trader Monthly” community just called to let us know that Tim Sykes was disinvited from the mag’s Tuesday night party for reasons greater than “the pink bathrobe.” They include the fact that: a. Tim doesn’t behave like a responsible member of the financial community. b. He showed no remorse for losing […]

    / Sep 21, 2007 at 1:55 PM
  • Tim Sykes

    ‘Trader Monthly’ Will Not Have Its Reputation Tainted By Tim Sykes (Zach Michaelson, Sure)

    The row over “Trader Monthly” disinviting Tim Sykes to this year’s “30 Under 30” party is fantastically petty and stupid and yet we can’t look away. Basically, the week before Tuesday’s awesome soiree at Gold St.—and make no mistake, it was awesome, if you’re into the B&T crowd—a VP from the magazine emailed Tim to […]

    / Sep 21, 2007 at 10:49 AM
  • Tim Sykes

    Tim Sykes Shows Us How He Turned Bar Mitzvah Gifts Totaling $12,415 Into A Pre-Tax Sum Of Just Under $2 Million

    [please click for the non-embeddable–but somewhat worth it–video] Don’t Drink and Trade [MSN]

    / Sep 10, 2007 at 1:44 PM
  • Tim Sykes

    Who Is Tim Sykes?

    In its annual “30 under 30” issue, out August 28, Trader Monthly compares Tim Sykes to Ryan Leaf. Here’s what the trader/author/attention-seeker extraordinaire had to say about it: DBBess: So…Ryan Leaf? Mitzvah$$$: LOL Mitzvah$$$: u know who he is, right? DBBess: I’m familiar…how does the comparison make you feel? Mitzvah$$$: I love it Mitzvah$$$: are […]

    / Aug 13, 2007 at 12:56 PM
  • Tim Sykes

    Tim Sykes’s Downward Dog

    That 3-hour commute from the UES to downtown this morning was pretty sweet, eh? Anyhoo, here’s Tim Sykes putting his guarantee on the box of Lulu Lemon Athletica, which must mean it’s good. He also “loves the Jamba Juice shakes,” even though their stock has done nothing, probably because one original Dream Machine has enough […]

    / Aug 8, 2007 at 1:00 PM
  • Tim Sykes

    You Guys Have Met Tim Sykes, Right?

    Particularly sick and twisted today? Maybe want to engage in some self-flagellation via the Internet? Dealbreaker feels you. Which is why we’re offering you the amazing opportunity to help choose Tim Sykes’s book cover. Yes, you. You. You can proudly say you had a role in creating the memoir that Tim Sykes e-mailed to tell […]

    / Jul 17, 2007 at 1:24 PM
  • Tim Sykes

    Tim Sykes Once Lived In A Cramped Dorm Room

    Barbarians at the Gate was a great read but who’s up for a new book by the voice of our generation? By a day trader so great he turned $12,415 in Bar Mitzvah money into a fully audited pre-tax sum of $1.65 million, a writer so wonderful he just might trump Mergers and Acquisitions in […]

    / Jun 29, 2007 at 12:07 PM
  • Tim Sykes

    Dante Tim Sykes’s Inferno, Chapter 3

    Here at Dealbreaker, we occasionally like to look into the darker underbelly of finance. See what happens behind closed doors. Under desks. On boardroom tables. In the eleventh floor bathroom of Goldman Sachs. These tours of duty are most informative when we have a guide. We’ve already contracted Philip Goldstein for the entire month of […]

    / Jun 13, 2007 at 2:46 PM
  • Tim Sykes

    Caption Contest Friday: Our Market Closes At 2

    What is Tim Sykes saying to the camera?

    / May 25, 2007 at 12:33 PM
  • Tim Sykes

    Dante Tim Sykes’s Inferno, Chapter 2

    Here at Dealbreaker, we occasionally like to look into the darker underbelly of finance. See what happens behind closed doors. Under desks. On boardroom tables. In the eleventh floor bathroom of Goldman Sachs. These tours of duty are most informative when we have a guide. We’ve already contracted Philip Goldstein for the entire month of […]

    / May 17, 2007 at 11:59 AM

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