HBO HF TV: Matt Damon Is A Red Herring

hbo.jpgBrian Koppelman and David Levien, the duo that brought us “Ocean’s 13” and “Rounders” have signed on to write “Alpha Cats,” HBO’s new show about hedge funds. So “AC” will either be a good series with frequent guest appearances by Matt Damon or a really boring one that looks and sounds exactly like its predecessors (though blissfully Julia Roberts-free) with frequent guest appearances by Matt Damon. Doug Ellin, executive producer, said he’s aiming for the show to be out next summer with the fifth season of “Entourage,” though “nothing is set in stone,” so don’t cancel your HBO just yet, even if we’re all on the same page vis-à-vis “Entourage” being off to a horrible start (save for the Anthony Michael Hall balcony brilliance).
‘Entourage’ Producers Hire ‘Ocean’s 13′ Writers for HBO Hedge Fund Series [TV Week]

Art Imitates Life: HBO HF TV

hbo.jpgThought about HBO’s new show about hedge funds (working title: Sextourage, although, in all seriousness, they should call it Arbitrage), lately? As in, are you going to watch it because there’s nothing else on but will hate yourself the whole time because it’ll probably be completely unrealistic and not know its longs from its shorts? (We did kind of like TBS’ first original series “Bull,” by the way, but only because we love when Donald Moffat plays evil characters). Now’s your chance to do something about it. The show’s creator, Doug Ellin, will be on BlogTalkRadio from 10-11 this morning (click here to listen) and would love for you to call in (347-677-0649) with some soft-ball questions. Don’t do that. Don’t play that game. Here are some starters, we know you can do better:
– Who are the following: Brian Hunter, Tom Hudson, Jim Chanos and Dan Loeb
– What are the following: Global Alpha, Amaranth, Fortress, Chapman, Third Point
– How many of your characters will be quants?
– Will they use the phrase “get it done?”
– Why not?
– Will the funds be long only, volatility-shorting, event-driven or multi-strategy?
– Who will be the token gerbil?
– Will any of the characters make love to a towel?
– Will underage girls be present?
– Why not?
– Will the fish picture be in one of the character’s offices?
– Whose daughter will drive the car into the swimming pool?
– Will you rip up real old-masters paintings?
– Why not?
– Who will play the SEC chairman?
– Not Sam Antar, former Crazy Eddie CEO and convicted felon?
– Why not?
– Do you read DealBreaker? (Ok, this might be self-serving for us, but do it anyway, yes?)
– Who is Muffie Benson-Perella?
– What is delta-gamma approximation?
– Ok, well then, what’s vega, smart-ass?
– No, NOT the star, you idiot. Did you hear a capital letter in my sentence?
– WRONG it is sensitivity to the IMPLIED volatility of the underlier. Sheesh.
– Will any of the funds use a 130/30 strategy?
– Why not?
– Will Michael Douglas make any appearances?
– Why not?
– How about a recurring crazy cab driver character who is constantly worried that a blow-up would drain his Greenwich to JFK high-revenue customers from…. hello? Hello?
Call (/listen) NOW!

HBO HF TV: Let’s End This Now

images.jpgIf your office is anything like the DealBreaker one, there’s been a cloud of emotions hanging over it since the tragic events of 6/10. Some of us feel robbed, others vindicated, others ill. For the most part, no one here will ever trust another human being again, either because we’ll never have it as good with anyone else as we did with David Chase or because that guy screwed us.
Which is why when we came across an interview with Doug Ellin discussing his new show for HBO about hedge funds, something deep within made us scream, “Fuck this.” (Bad Thai on West 4th). First, because Ellin apparently has a problem with “Harvard-educated medical doctors who would rather work at an investment bank than try to cure cancer” and second, because we don’t have the energy to go on another emtional roller coaster ride, invest our time, and then have it taken away from us with two minutes of a chick having difficulties parallel parking her car and then the screen going to black (because it was brilliant or a cop-out? We don’t even know anymore. Damn you, Chase). So let’s just do this now and get it over with and move on with our lives: How is the series finale of Sex and the City/Entourage for Hedge Funds going to end:
– The main character, a brash young trader named Ryan Munter will make a bad bet on weather and the fund will lose $6b in a month
– The 4 best friends, all quant guys, will retire with a few billion each, go teach math at Harvard and score some major grad student tail
– Two minutes of a chick having difficulties parallel parking her car and then the screen going to black
– No series finale: show gets cancelled after half a season. No one notices because television shows about finance suck.
Fistfull of Dollars [NYT]

Sex & The Managing Director

frances-o-connor.jpgThink Conde Nast’s Portfolio meets Sex and the City. At least that’s how we imagine the pitch meetings went when Darren Star pitched his new show, Cashmere Mafia, which is about four professional women in New York City. But where SATC emphasized the relationships of the women (it was, after all, based upon a Candace Bushnell’s dating column in the New York Observer), Cashmere Mafia will focus on the careers of its four protagonists.
They are all ridiculously successful, it seems. The sort of women who Portfolio hopes will make up its projected 40% female readership. (A highly unlikely demographic makeup for a business magazine. DealBreaker’s readership is only about 18% female.) One runs a hotel chain. Another, inevitably, is a managing director at an investment bank. (Francis O’Connor, pictured left).
The Sun reports that the pilot just wrapped filming. “The characters are all friends from business school who are in the power echelons of New York. The show is about their work and how they balance work, family and relationships and in some ways the extra workload that women have to bear in times like this,” Star tells the Sun.
Cashmere is the new Sex [Sun]

  • 13 Mar 2007 at 4:13 PM
  • CNBC

A Million Dollar Opportunity

cnbclogo1.jpgAre your dreams haunted by the image of Tim Sykes? Do you stay up nights wondering what it would be like to be in the same room as that smoking piece of man meat, CNBC’s Carl Quintanilla? Have you been jonesing to take a ride out to scenic Englewood Cliffs, NJ? Well dream, wonder and jones no longer—today is your lucky day. This Friday at 7 pm, CNBC will be presenting “Million Dollar Portfolio Challenge: How To Win” and they’d like you to give up whatever you had planned to risk getting spit on by everyone’s favorite Wall Street Warrior, as he works himself up into a epileptic frenzy re: buying/selling/WINNING. (He just gets excited, don’t be afraid.) If you’d like to be a part of the live studio audience, call 201-735-4040 to reserve your spot, or try Jim Cramer on his cell. He’s on call 24/7 when it comes to the $$$. Also: Stephen Collins– the father from 7th Heaven– is one of the “Celeb Traders” taking part in the contest. If that doesn’t get you people pumped, I don’t know what will.
Earlier: DealBreaker’s Scheme To Win the CNBC Million Dollar Portfolio Challenge

  • 30 Oct 2006 at 4:02 PM
  • TV

Wall Street Warriors, (Legitimately) Episode 2: Postmortem

WallStreetWarriors.jpgBess here, done with episode one and ready and raring to go with episode two. (And ready, dying, to get back to the first-person plural. I feel naked without it). If the first episode of Wall Street Warriors knocked your socks off, hold on to your pants, because episode two is like the A.D. to episode one’s B.C. WSW’s pièce de résistance. And why, pray tell? For two reasons. 1. Bob’s made it into the opening credits! And 2. Well, reason number two, is two words, friends. Reason number two is: TIM. SYKES. B’nai Mitzvah extraordinaire.

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  • 30 Oct 2006 at 2:16 PM
  • TV

Wall Street Warriors, Episode 2: Postmortem

WallStreetWarriors.jpgBut first, a postmortem on episode one. By now you’re likely asking yourselves a few questions—“why is DealBreaker covering the WSW pilot a week late”; “what is this, this Wall Street Warriors”; and “have you ever a been with a woman.” All excellent questions. First of all, we do things differently ‘round these parts. We don’t follow crowds, we don’t mindlessly adhere to standard protocol like a bunch of sheep, and we don’t always remember to request copies of shows before they air, thereby allowing other people to put in their two cents while we stand silently on the sidelines looking stupid quirky for our unorthodox take on the situation at hand (we also don’t subscribe to certain high resolution channels, but that’s neither here nor there). Second, if you don’t know what Wall Street Warriors is, we don’t even know where to get started with you—but in the interest of indoctrination, start by reading our Dear Diary entry: Tonight I went to the Wall Street Warriors party and it was all I dreamt it would be—and more. It won’t necessarily elucidate much, per the series, but it’ll do…something. Lastly, no, there’s never an appropriate time to ask that question. Don’t feel bad, we’re kind of with you on thinking that maybe now, given the political climate of us being in the vulnerable position of not having done something we should’ve done, um, what’s that a week ago (?) it’s sort as though we ‘owe you a freebie,’ so to speak, but yeah, no. Let us begin.

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  • 26 Oct 2006 at 3:53 PM
  • admin

DealBreaker On TV: On The Money

onthemoney.bmpDealBreaker editor John Carney will be on CNBC’s On The Money tonight at 7:40, discussing the new Goldman Sachs P.M.D.’s. Watch him/read him all at the same time– meta!
Update: Well, looks like we’ve got the night off. Team OTM just emailed to say their dance card was all full for the night. So instead we’ll be off stalking the new PMDs at happy hour tonight.