Yeah, I’ll turn that around, make it work for me

cheney_020607.jpgHappy Monday! Halliburton’s Q2 net income more than doubled from last year. If that doesn’t get you going, I don’t know what will. The non-profit reported net income of $1.53 billion ($1.62/share), up from 2006’s second quarter of $591 million (55 cents/share). The gain was due in large part to the April spinoff of KBR Inc, which generated a $933 million gain. Earnings from continuing operations in Iraq rose 19% (63 cents/share) and revenue shot up 20% to $3.74 billion, particularly from work in the Eastern Hemisphere.
The Bush administration said that in addition to the auspicious foresight that that opposite of successes in the Middle East would pick up speed this year, and it would be convenient to have a headquarters in Dubai, “well stimulation” proved profitable. Chief Executive Dave Lesar noted that well stimulations in the U.S. were a record for Halliburton last month. The last time Lesar felt so good was when he was (prematurely) told ‘Burton had won the contract to rebuild ground zero.
The one disappointment for the company was Canada, where Halliburton’s operations suffered in the second quarter by a “significant decline in activity and the spring breakup season.” In order to drum up business up top, Bushie etc are planning on pulling out of Iraq and leaving a trail of falafel to Quebec so as to bait the enemy into invading Big C (i.e. getting “them” to “fight us” “over here” but not “here, here,” just “north of here”), which will in turn spawn a cornucopia of contracts for Hallie and pave Giuliani’s path to the White House and blow your mind with the ingenuity of it all.
Halliburton Quarterly Operating Profit Rises, Tops Street View [CNBC]
Halliburton’s Net More Than Doubles [WSJ]