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Ex-Consultant Uses Mouse to Build Model; Faces Merciless Retribution

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Ah, ex-management consultants. Can't live with 'em, can't fire 'em before bonus time. Herewith the possibly fictional tale of an ex-consultant-turned analyst who tried to build a DCF using... his mouse. And per photo left, mice are for pussies. (As told by the fellow analyst who witnessed it and subsequently humuliated him, as young sadistic bankers are wont to do):

I continued to glare at him as I started to “fly around.” My eyeballs burned through his unweathered, 60-hour-a-week-when-he-should-have-done-90 face as I hid and unhid sheets and conditionally formatted and applied validation to cells with triple nested conditional and indirect functions and then culminated by on-the-fly writing a macro that took my data and made it into a Marimekko (and we don’t even use that shit!). I never turned to look at the screen, and my eyes never left his.
“Welcome to PE, bitch,” I growled, crunching the last word like making radio noises. Then, mildly irritated that I had revealed my lame TiVo watching habits but proud of my masterful display, I turned back to my computer.

Shitshow [Leveraged Sellout]


Ex-SAC Analyst Spared Prison, Still Faces The Wrath of Cohen

Take note, insider-traders and those who might be accused of it in spite of their innocence: If you wear a wire and you don't have to go to jail. Wesley Wang, the former SAC analyst who helped convict one former boss and is probably helping to build cases against his bosses at SAC and Trellus Management, will get to keep doing so from the comfort of his northern California home.