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Merrill Acquires... Sir Ivan?

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We weren't actually blogging last week, so we missed the Merrill Lynch talks with North Fork, but it is truly unfortunate that it didn't work out because Merrill missed the opportunity to acquire North Fork's most precious hidden asset:
Ivan Wilzig, or "Sir Ivan" or "Peaceman" as he is known in certain circles. North Fork acquired New Jersey Trust Co. a few years ago, which was founded by his father, Siggi Wilzig. Ivan works there in some capacity--when he's not wearing an applique cape and throwing raves as techno artist Sir Ivan. Ivan's raison d'etre: "What Bob Geldof does for the rock and roll community,” Sir Ivan said, “this is what I want to do for the rave community.”

But Ivan is perhaps best remembered from the 2002 reality show "Single in the Hamptons." Our notes from the show: "...The scene then shifts to Ivan Wilzig, who is sitting in his Hamptons 'castle' that, well, looks like a castle. At Disneyland. Mr. Wilzig has taken "gauche" to a whole new level. The 35ish 45ish, George Hamilton-tanned Wilzig gives the camera crew the 'grand tour,' smugly informing his audience of the precise cost of the faux-medieval interior, complete with fake sandblocks, hallways lined with suits of armor, and hidden sound systems and disco lights that can transform the architectural travesty into the world's cheesiest nightclub with the flip of a switch. (It reminded me of Ray and Finchy Winkler's gold-plated apartment in Woody Allen's Small Time Crooks.) On Wilzig's bronzed arms appear, at varying intervals, coteries of giggling young twentysomethings in bikinis. As Wilzig details his "dream" - to build the world's best dance club in Manhattan - you find yourself wondering if Mr. Wilzig really exists or if he's simply a media creation...
Just when you think it can't get any more clichéd, it does. Mr. Wilzig compares himself to Hugh Hefner and announces that he's preparing for his annual "bunny party" - a wannabe night at the wannabe Playboy mansion in which guests are forced to wear bunny ears and tails."
Bob Geldorf, indeed.
Sir Ivan Wilzig [A Socialite's Life]