But What Does This Mean for Goldman?


That's the question some people are asking about this week's insider trading scandal. Then again, most of those people don't work in finance. (The answer: They lose two employees. Otherwise, not much. Harvard probably considers it more of a problem than Goldman does.)
But: we're always interested in Goldman, so too lazy to do our own research, we clicked on TheStreet's "360" degree analysis of the company, which is designed to present opposing viewpoints, and began reading Harvard/Goldman alum Jim Cramer's analysis of the company:

Am I a house man for Goldman Sachs, having cut my teeth in the business at the firm? Did I get a thrill out of being the keynote speaker at the Goldman alumni association last night, in front of a half-a-trillion dollars' worth of managers?
Those aren't the reasons I am pounding the table on this stock and pounding it hard here...

And we couldn't really read past that point because it felt like we were reading someone's internal monologue, even though we're not sure Cramer has one.
On a typical day, we sort of imagine him rallying the Mad Money troops with the old "Patton's speech to the Third Army" trick, subbing "market reversal" for "Germans". Let's see if it works:

All through your Armytrading careers, you men have bitched about what you call "chicken shit drilling". That, like everything else in this Armytrading, has a definite purpose. That purpose is alertness. Alertness must be bred into every soldiertrader. I don't give a fuck for a man who's not always on his toes. You men are veterans or you wouldn't be here. You are ready for what's to come. A man must be alert at all times if he expects to stay alive. If you're not alert, sometime, a Germanmarket reversal son-of-an-asshole-bitch is going to sneak up behind you and beat you to death with a sockful of shit!"

Yeah, it works.
Nonetheless, the verdicts:
Cramer: says the stock's going to $225 (but uses Well Fargo as a comparable)
John Layfield: $190-200, (based mostly on competitive positioning)
Dan Fitzpatrick: wait for a pullback (based on the technicals)
Steve Smith: Slingshot options, if you anticipate GS climbing more than 7%+ (which actually tells us nothing about what Goldman is doing, only what to do if it climbs.)
Richard Suttmeier: builds an actual model and comes up with FMV of $159.86
The DealBreaker analysis: conducted via Magic 8 Ball:
"Better Not Tell You Now."



Libya To Goldman Sachs: We're Naive, But You're Mean

Camels and hookers and billion dollar trading losses, oh my.

Inter-Fiscal Cliff Period, Day Three: But How Does It Affect Goldman Sachs?

With President Obama sort of signing the fiscal cliff tax deal into law comes this unsurprising tidbit from an unsurprising corner:

What Else Does Goldman Sachs Have In Store For Greg Smith?

As you may have heard, eleven short days from now Grand Central Publishing will release Why I Left Goldman Sachs: A Wall Street Story. The book is the memoir of former Goldman employee Greg Smith, who in March of last year penned an op-ed for the New York Times called "Why I Am Leaving Goldman Sachs," a resignation letter of sorts in which Smith detailed the ways the firm had disappointed, sickened, and ultimately failed him, from opting for "shortcuts" over "achievement" to becoming, in the twelve years he worked there, a place that only cares about one thing and one thing only: "making money." While perhaps another person would have turned a blind eye and said nothing, Greg had an obligation, as a Rhodes Scholar national finalist and a Maccabiah Games bronze medal finisher in ping-pong, to say ENOUGH. To violate his employer in the most gruesome fashion possible (that is, publicly), in front of clients and other interested parties. To let the world know this place he worked at for over a decade could continue to be a criminal enterprise but that he was moving on. The piece, as you might have imagined, did not please many people at Goldman Sachs nor did the $1.5 million deal Smith scored shortly thereafter to write the book. In September, a spokesman for the firm issued a delightfully bitchy, exceptionally underminey comment to the press re: Smith's tale being no more interesting than that of a disgruntled first-year analyst who thinks he's got a story to tell and yesterday, amazingly and almost unbelievably but you must believe it because here it is, leaked details of Greg's performance reviews to the Financial Times which, spoiler alert, are less than flattering. Two people who managed Mr Smith said he was a solid performer but did not merit promotion to managing director, a distinction he apparently sought in 2009 and 2010. They also said he reacted badly to his bonus award in January this year. At the time one of his managers wrote in an email: “Greg Smith off the charts unrealistic, thinks he shld trade at multiples. We told him there’s v little tolerance for reactions like that and he needs to tone it down.” Ignoring for a moment that the manager quoted sounds like one of those horrible people who oh so cleverly discusses humans as financial assets, and has probably told people "I'm short Greg Smith" in the past, is this strategic attack on a former employee not the most wonderful thing to come out of GS since Hank Paulson used voicemail to apologize for telling 80 percent of the firm they were worthless pieces of crap not worthy of cleaning the lining of his birds' cages? Particularly because they maintain he is so insignificant they've barely given him or his book any thought at all? And does it not get you excited for what's to come in the run-up to October 22, i.e. what other ways Goldman has planned to humiliate and discredit Mr. Smith? Some ideas we assume they have already thought of include: * Revealing the nickname he gave himself in firm emails (Agent Smith) * Getting eyewitnesses to tell reporters that after getting shafted on his bonus, he was seen flying into a fit of mad rage, whipping his ping-pong paddle out of his holster, and screaming obscenities at passersby on the trading floor before he was restrained by Gary Cohn * Leaking the original draft of his book he was working on circa 2009, entitled Why I Became A Managing Director At Goldman Sachs: A Success Story Goldman's 'Muppet Hunt' Draws A Blank [FT] Earlier: Goldman Sachs Unimpressed By Sophomoric Writing Efforts Of Former Employee; Resignation Letter Reveals Goldman Sachs Is In The Business Of Making Money, Hires People Who Don’t Know How To Tie Their Shoes; Jewish Ping-Pong Tournament Participant / Sixth-Year Goldman Sachs Vice President Is Looking For His Next Challenge; Goldman Sachs Accuser Greg Smith (Might Have) Lied About That Which He Holds Most Sacred