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But What Does This Mean for Goldman?

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That's the question some people are asking about this week's insider trading scandal. Then again, most of those people don't work in finance. (The answer: They lose two employees. Otherwise, not much. Harvard probably considers it more of a problem than Goldman does.)
But: we're always interested in Goldman, so too lazy to do our own research, we clicked on TheStreet's "360" degree analysis of the company, which is designed to present opposing viewpoints, and began reading Harvard/Goldman alum Jim Cramer's analysis of the company:

Am I a house man for Goldman Sachs, having cut my teeth in the business at the firm? Did I get a thrill out of being the keynote speaker at the Goldman alumni association last night, in front of a half-a-trillion dollars' worth of managers?
Those aren't the reasons I am pounding the table on this stock and pounding it hard here...

And we couldn't really read past that point because it felt like we were reading someone's internal monologue, even though we're not sure Cramer has one.
On a typical day, we sort of imagine him rallying the Mad Money troops with the old "Patton's speech to the Third Army" trick, subbing "market reversal" for "Germans". Let's see if it works:

All through your Armytrading careers, you men have bitched about what you call "chicken shit drilling". That, like everything else in this Armytrading, has a definite purpose. That purpose is alertness. Alertness must be bred into every soldiertrader. I don't give a fuck for a man who's not always on his toes. You men are veterans or you wouldn't be here. You are ready for what's to come. A man must be alert at all times if he expects to stay alive. If you're not alert, sometime, a Germanmarket reversal son-of-an-asshole-bitch is going to sneak up behind you and beat you to death with a sockful of shit!"

Yeah, it works.
Nonetheless, the verdicts:
Cramer: says the stock's going to $225 (but uses Well Fargo as a comparable)
John Layfield: $190-200, (based mostly on competitive positioning)
Dan Fitzpatrick: wait for a pullback (based on the technicals)
Steve Smith: Slingshot options, if you anticipate GS climbing more than 7%+ (which actually tells us nothing about what Goldman is doing, only what to do if it climbs.)
Richard Suttmeier: builds an actual model and comes up with FMV of $159.86
The DealBreaker analysis: conducted via Magic 8 Ball:
"Better Not Tell You Now."



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