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Write-offs: 04.20.06

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$$$ Smith Barney, Why Do You Hate Your Customers?: A Play [Long or Short Capital]
$$$This makes us nostalgic for the early '80s, when being a millionaire actually meant something. [Reuters via WSF]
$$$ Yet another way to make money off of Enron. (Previous way here.) [TradeSports via Dealbook]
$$$ Delta asks employees to clean planes on their own time. It's just that sort of brilliant management that put the stock where it is today: crumbling in OTC oblivion. [St. Petersburg Times via Consumerist]

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$$$ More Probes Add to Barclays's Woes [WSJ] $$$ Corzine Searches for What's Next [WSJ] $$$ London Whale’s Boss Martin-Artajo Sued by JPMorgan [Bloomberg] $$$ “The growth in [European government bond] futures volumes is unbelievable,” said one senior credit trader. “The same short interest still exists – economically it’s identical. If you thought the short interest was hurting the market then it makes no sense to say cleared derivatives are good and OTC derivatives are bad.” [IFRE] $$$ Remember: it's not Halloween if you're in New Jersey [nj.gov via Counterparties] $$$ Dear College Kids, If You Dress in an Ironically Racist or Insensitive Costume, You May Get Punched In the Nose Like I Did [Gawker Updates] $$$ A private equity firm is looking for an associate in San Francisco [DBCC] $$$ When Is There a Strong Transfer Risk from the Sovereigns to the Corporates? Property Rights Gaps and CDS Spreads [NY Fed] $$$ Citigroup Staff Uprooted for Weeks as Sandy Slams Wall Street [Bloomberg] $$$ On Mayor Bloomberg's sign-language interpreter: "The perception that we non-signers have that these hand movements and facial expressions are particularly 'animated' and 'expressive' is precisely due to our lack of experience with them as linguistic features." [LL] $$$ Bloomberg on hurricane sushi, part 2 [BBW, earlier] $$$ Baby walrus rides out hurricane at NYC aquarium WITH VIDEO [MSNBC]

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$$$ Schapiro Questions Role of High-Frequency Traders [WSJ] $$$ Morgan Stanley veterans plan advisory boutique Dean Bradley Osborne or DBO Partners [FT] $$$ Charlie Gasparino: Preet Bharara plans to profit from taking credit for insider trading prosecutions [FBN] $$$ New York Federal Reserve Said to Plan Sale of AIG-Linked Mortgage Bonds [Bloomberg] $$$ UWS lawyer's wife paid $42,388 so husband could meet Knicks' Lin, take home jersey [NYP] $$$ A leading private equity firm is looking for an Energy associate [eFinancial Careers]

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